August 22nd, 2017 at 09:44pm
I'm here judging for the Keep the Music Short and Sweet contest.
First off, I think the story fit well with the song that you chose. When I think of Lana Del Rey I think of sort of 'rebelious' teenage girls doing whatever they want without fearing consequences and that's what you gave in this story. Though I was a bit fuzzy on their ages, but I would assume with the boarding school thing they are teenagers. I also thought the fact that there wasn't much back story, and we sort of just got thrust into the middle of their lives, worked well for this story.
I was, however, a bit turned off by the lack of description and how blunt everything was. Bluntness can work really well, but I feel like there also has to be some descriptions in order to add more depth to the story and I felt like that was missing. The lack of description also meant that there wasn't a ton of emotion in the piece. I knew what emotions I was supposed to be feeling, but they didn't come across in the story as much as I was hoping.
Overall, I think this has a ton of potential, but there are just a few things I was hoping for that didn't quite get where I was hoping they'd go. Thanks for entering!
Thank you