actually I loved this whole story
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- “We were inexorable,” Gabriel says. He inhales, turns his head on Rhys’ shoulder, and murmurs, “I love you too.” Rhys closes his eyes when Gabriel breathes against his neck. It’s the softest sensation. It runs through Rhys’ entire body. “I’ll always love you, Rhys. No matter what you do, you’ll always have me. I would follow you to the ends of the earth.”
Gabriel seems like the voice of reason in this relationship.
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- Gabriel balks. “Los Angeles? Are you insane? You want to drive from Wisconsin to California. Like it’s just a hop, skip, and jump away.” He stands up, shaking his head.
Admittedly, I laughed much harder than I probably should've.
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- At first, Gabriel looks mildly offended. “Excuse you. Clearly every sculpture here, in a park named Pappajohn, is some LSD form of pizza.” Gabriel gestures to the sculpture he’s been staring at for five minutes. “This is a pepperoni pizza with animated mozzarella cheese and pineapple. It’s disgusting. Revolutionary. Avant-garde.”
I love this line!
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- He also wouldn’t claim that he’s decent at guessing what time it is based on “the position of the sun” or some other Boy Scout shit.
This played out in my head and, once again, I laughed much harder than I should've.
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- Rhys is about to make a comment about being tired again when Gabriel makes this god awful high-pitched noise suddenly and scares the shit out of Rhys.
I love everything Rhys says, I swear.
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- I think I’d find more depth in the pond in your backyard.”
She needs to gtfo.
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- “Rhys,” she starts. He knows that she’s aiming to sound sympathetic and regretful, but her anger overpowers it and he’s not an idiot. “You might as well not come home at this rate. This isn’t the boy we raised. We don’t know who you are and we’re not sure we want to keep trying to help someone that doesn’t want it.”
Yep, I love these two. So much.
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- Around nine, when Gabriel gets out of the shower, he proposes the idea of going to the bar downstairs. “Might as well. I could use a drink or five after the past couple of days.” He eyes Rhys on the bed somewhat after he puts his shirt on. “You could use a Xanax or five, but vodka’s going to have to do. Come on.”
“I like how your solution for my shit is either drugs or alcohol.”
“I’m a doctor, trust me. The cure to inner conflict.”
Just that little I don't want to. God, this is all so real and raw and I love it. I'm living for it!
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- “Tell me no, Gabe. You need to tell me no.”
Gabriel’s hands find Rhys’ hips, the bottom edge of his shirt, then the front of it. He looks at Rhys, half-hooded eyes hazy with drunk and something much more intense. “I don’t want to.”
I don’t even know where to start with this story. It’s probably one of my favorite stories on this entire site because there’s so much complexity and emotional depth and character development and just. There’s humor that made me laugh out loud because the dynamic between Gabriel and Rhys is hilarious and natural, then there’s the angst of Rhys’ constant inner conflict between his family and his feelings for Gabriel that seemed to get more intense and undeniable the longer they were stuck in a car and hotel rooms together. The entire arc that kicked in from Utah actually just casually ruined me a little. This felt like it could have been a published book because there was so much.
And I was originally going to review each chapter, but I feel like I’ll write you a novel if I do that (even with it only being nine chapters, yes) so I’m just going to go through the things that I really loved.
1. Rhys and Gabriel’s entire relationship and dynamic. Their constant back and forth banter made me laugh so much. Even at their ‘snappiest’ with each other, it was still amusing because it’s obvious that they know each other so well now, nothing is really unsurprising.
2. Rhys and Gabriel as characters alone. Rhys has this totally emo complex to him that I really loved (when it wasn’t because he was having another turmoil issue) because it made him a complex and strong character even in his weakest moments, but Gabriel made me laugh so much with his antics and the way he’d jab at Rhys. I loved how Gabriel would bring out this lighthearted side of Rhys, but in contrast, I realized in the chapters Vegas, LA, and Cheyenne especially that Rhys brings out this gritty side of Gabriel. He gets blunt and sharp, and the way he was in the Cheyenne chapter broke my heart because he was so angry and heartbroken. Like there was such relief when Rhys finally said it but it was also so heartbreaking in the way Gabriel responded at first. But in the end, they take each other no matter what. They felt like two parts of a whole, you know? OH AND SARA. Sara was such a great surprise because leading up to it, I expected some bitterness between them since Rhys wouldn’t talk about her much but it made sense that he didn’t want to talk about it because he felt like it was his fault. Sara giving him that advice made me SO HAPPY.
3. The angst. There was a lot of different elements that caused angst for the both of these boys and I know it, but every situation that fueled it was realistic and made my heart hurt. Ya know, denial and seemingly unrequited love and fear. All that FUN STUFF.
4. The character development. This actually got me the most because LOVE IT. But reflecting back on chapter one compared to chapter nine, there was a lot of development—especially for Rhys considering even in chapter one, you know there’s something there but he’s ignoring it. Or, at least, trying to. Then as it goes on, he can’t and he has to face it and he has Bad Coping Mechanisms. Watching him come to terms with his own feelings despite being scared was amazing, and heartbreaking all the same when he realized he had to mourn the loss of his own family in finally letting himself love Gabriel back, and I JUST.
5. The TROPE. I love the road trip trope a lot even though I can’t seem to write it to save my own life. You actually took all my favorite parts about it (the freedom and finally seeing things because it’s like getting out from under a rock when you ‘escape’ people and/or a place holding you back) and I loved how Gabriel was constantly dragging Rhys places in every city. Which reminds me: I also love how you did each chapter in a different city and how Los Angeles wasn’t actually like… the place where the trip ended.
Did I really avoid writing a novella of a comment? Nope.
SO BASICALLY, I love this story so much and it’ll forever be in my top 5 honestly. The story is amazing, the characters are real and raw and relatable, the development and the arc is angst-ridden but not in the tragic kind of way, and the writing is fantastic. This was just so beautiful in so many ways all around and I wish I could write a more coherent comment but it’s just not happening, hgnng. Just… honestly, thank you for writing this and finishing it because it was something else. Like I’ll probably think back on this story randomly for the rest of my life.