Where the Broken Heart Went - Comments

  • losing control.

    losing control. (4250)

    Board Moderator
    I'm here judging for Keep the Music Short and Sweet.

    First off, I'm terribly sorry for how late this comment is.

    This story definitely ended up somewhere completely different from where I was thinking based on the song. Maybe because it's a pop song so I was imagining something more upbeat or happy, but I did like where you went with this. I thought having the letter bit at the beginning was interesting. I was a bit confused until I realized that it was a letter, and then things started to fall into place. Using the letter to include information about the characters was a really clever thing to do.

    One thing I wanted to mention that, I know this was a letter, but the language felt very casual and it made the story feel a bit lackluster for me. Because it felt like the narrator was sort of just chatting which made it a bit difficult for me to get really invested in the drabble.

    Overall though, I thought you did a good job with this!
    October 7th, 2017 at 07:29am