Dissenter - Comments

Vic, this is beautiful. I love the formatting of the short chapters in their differing POVs: you're telling us exactly what we need to know, no more and no less. While I'm not happy that it ends without a steadfast resolution, I hope the German lives. I feel like he may have been too proud to accept the help, though, and have chosen to die for his country instead (as much as he doesn't want to die).

Happy Mibbaween!
So, normally with these I only read like 3 chapters, but given the format of this story (and also how hooked I was while reading) I read the whole thing!
This is like a collection of drabbles that manage to tell a full story, like small, yet vital pieces of a puzzle. Really unique and interesting story structure! Your opening chapter hooked me immediately; it was a short, but powerful opening. Throughout the work, you employ excellent (and often grim) imagery. It really helps to establish your setting and tone.
The 4th chapter, where the perspective shifts, might be the most gripping one. It didn't occur to me in the 1st 3 chapters that the character being shown running was so young, but to hear him described as "a child" just really shook me, and it made me re-think what I'd already read. Also, just the Russian soldier being put in a position where he has to potentially shoot "a child" really illustrates the horror of war in a way that all the crumbling ruins of the world can't quite manage. It's that human element.
On a similar note, chapter 6 got to me in pretty much the same way. I was relieved for both characters when the Russian didn't shoot. Also, the idea that he, in some way, saw his own lost son in the boy he previously held at gunpoint is just so profound.
The last line, wow. I'll admit I'm not sure whether it implies he ran, didn't run, or whether it's meant to be open to interpretation, but either way it's a great closing line.
Over all, this is an excellent work. It's honestly one of the best I've read on this site in a while.

God, this was such a powerful read. The older man refusing to shoot the child, the child warring with himself on whether or not to accept the hand extended to him. Just everything about this is powerful and I think you really captured what war is like.

I was completely captivated the entire time and, while I appreciated the short chapters that packed a punch, I would've liked this to have been longer. That's my only qualm with this, honestly.

Your description and everything else is absolutely perfect. You didn't overdo it, but you didn't make it to where I didn't understand what was going on. I absolutely loved this!

Wow... this is amazing. Profound, intense, and... I can't seem to come up with a right word. But unapologetic comes to mind--- you thrust the readers right into a scene human beings are just too familiar with.
Now I've never been to war but something about your writing breaks my heart. I think it's because you provided a different perspective of war, not the glorified heroes and courageous soldiers that is often seen in the movies, but the ugly tragedy that is war and the people just trying to survive through it. I have no idea if you meant for your readers to see this story the way I did but this is my genuine reaction to it.

You ability to paint the scene of war from two different perspectives is impressive and beautifully done. Your descriptive writing made it easy for me to visualize so it felt like I was watching the story. Also, each chapter was very short but at a perfect length. If anything the short chapters actually helps tell the story.

So far, so good! I enjoyed this read very much! You have my rec and subscription!

Sorry, double posted!! But here, you can have another comment.

The Russian, how in the moment chose humanity over taking the life as he was ordered. I don't know why that struck me, but when he said "I cannot shoot," and instead extends a hand out... For some reason it had me all sorts of sobby.
Something about your writing strikes a cord in me emotionally, and my god I love it!