Stay With Me - Comments

  • n. josten

    n. josten (1270)

    :
    Ghoul of 2016
    Gender:
    Age:
    90
    Location:
    United States
    I’m here for the ‘To Keep & Be Kept’ contest.

    Number one: you should be sorry because wow, Alex, such a PAIN.

    Number two: who gave you the rIGHT

    I can’t believe this exists. I mean, for starters, it’s written in second person which we all know I’m an actual trash bag for at this point. There’s just something so personal and emotional and poignant about it, which I think you embraced really well for someone that doesn’t write it all that often. You captured that kind of raw, emotional vulnerability that’s unique to second person. I know it’s not an easy perspective to write from and I think you did it really, really well because it had that poetic flow to it and it put me right in the middle of everything smoothly. There was like one awkwardly worded sentence that somewhat broke the flow, but the poetic ones far outweighed the mildly clunky one so it wasn’t even that big of a deal.

    But also, secondly, it’s angst! I! Love! Angst!! (Shocker, I know. You would never have guessed!) I also kinda have this soft spot for an ‘unrequited love’ thing or that trope where they’re actually kinda both in love with each other, but one character doesn’t want to admit to it for whatever reason so it’s a lot of Angst™ and Pain™ that you put both the characters and readers through. Granted, I also like when said character finally comes to terms with it and fesses up, so *squints* you’re clearly aiming to maim me here, but that’s fine. All’s good, you can break my heart and then refuse to put it back together. I’ll haphazardly duct tape it back together myself and if this is revenge, you win.

    Because you did capture that horrible, sinking feeling of being in love and losing it simultaneously. I also love how you didn’t name the narrator or use any specific kind of pronouns to identify them because it leaves it open for a reader to interpret however they want. It adds a certain kind of depth and connection from the content to the reader. It definitely did for me.

    I mean, to be fair, this made me emo too so THANKS, GOOD JOB!
    January 2nd, 2018 at 11:39pm
  • coralreefs;

    coralreefs; (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    26
    Location:
    United States
    Omgggg this just made me so emo
    November 13th, 2017 at 10:41pm
  • Ghoul Scouts

    Ghoul Scouts (165)

    :
    Magazine Staff
    Gender:
    Age:
    27
    Location:
    United States
    I really enjoyed this piece. It brought up a lot of mixed feelings I have had in past relationships.
    November 13th, 2017 at 08:06am