The Shadow - Comments

  • Nereid

    Nereid (930)

    :
    Member
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    Age:
    28
    Location:
    Great Britain (UK)
    I am really loving this increase in horror/spooky stories on Mibba as we approach Halloween.

    I think your story has a lot of potential to be something really thrilling. I feel like whatever they saw in that basement is going to lead to something awful happening in the future, and you've created a great sense of dread for the reader.

    I think your two lead characters are good too. They seem to naturally bounce of each other and work well together, which I like. The only thing I was confused about was if the character was called Clara or Murph? You seem to switch between the two and I wasn't sure why, but apart from that I think you have the starts of a strong story here :)
    October 25th, 2017 at 11:25am