Goodbye - Comments

That first line really packed a punch, and oh boy, am I excited to read on!

WOW, okay, way to break a heart! As Ghoul Scouts pointed out, he was her Daddy and Daddies don't leave. this is the line that killed me. I actually got teary-eyed. While my father didn't pass away, he was never really in my life, so reading that packed such an emotional punch that I couldn't help but get teary-eyed.

AND THE LAST LINE! Girl, you know how to make someone emotional. This was such a beautiful piece and I'm so happy I got to read it. Well done!

he was her Daddy and Daddies don't leave.

After that line, the tears officially started rolling down my cheeks. This was so beautifully written. The details describing the setting played straight through my head perfectly. And you could really feel the raw emotion that you put into this.

That first line, though great hook!

I love this so much. I've just read it again and I got all emotional again! It hits close to home for me, but more than that, there's so much emotion packed into this.

Echoing the comment below, your style of writing is very easy to read. Just the right amount of detail without going over the top, no clumps of text, you weaved it throughout the story perfectly.
I really like how the picture used as the banner ties in with it, too.

To sum up, a great piece of writing! :D

Also, it was my pleasure to help out

This is beautifully written. Your descriptions flow so naturally, they give amazing detail while feeling so light. You don't need to use purple prose or complicated words to convey all these feelings, yet I could see the house in my mind, hear the engine and smell the smoke you described. That first isolated sentence truly drew me into the story and, instead of giving the reader a bunch of information upfront, the story unfolded as I put the pieces together to truly understand what was going on.

It's a sad piece, but there is also some hope implied, like the narrator got some closure and can now mourn in peace. I really loved reading this, you did great!