So in the beginning of the first chapter, or really just feels like a lot of background information is just dumped onto me as a reader. Like right up until you mention Johan. I would suggest maybe trying to rewrite that so it doesn’t feel like that. What I try to do is put descriptions here and there as my main characters interact with each other, that way my readers are already getting into the story and also getting the details I feel are necessary to understand the story.
I really like that you gave Jefferson an accent while he’s speaking. It’s interesting and very unique to see.
I really like Johans character, he seems stoic and cautious. His suspicions about how easily the artifact was stolen seen justified to me and I like that he’s questioning it.
I really like that you gave Jefferson an accent while he’s speaking. It’s interesting and very unique to see.
I really like Johans character, he seems stoic and cautious. His suspicions about how easily the artifact was stolen seen justified to me and I like that he’s questioning it.