Twenty More Minutes - Comments

Sneaky Frankie :D

This is amazing!
It made me feel hot in certain areas :tehe:
Ha, that was a little too much certain information. But I loved this story, and especially the ending. A nice suprise right there. And the sex was amazing!

I am in love with this 2 shot. Just so ya know. :)

That is amazing.
I've read this before and just read it again and seriously, it gets so much better the more you read it.
You can just see all the emotions.
The way Frank is crushed, the way Gerard doesn't really want to leave.
It is just pure perfection.
One of my favourite stories on Mibba period.
You are amazing.
Don't ever listen to anyone who tells you that you aren't.
x

That actually made me cry.
The ending, the actual finality of Gerard leaving; for the new life, better boyfriend; and just akgalksh.
I didn't realize that throughout almost the whole thing I wanted to cry until the end when I did.
Then, I laughed. That was the greatest ending... ever.
I really am making no sense because I am awed.

But before he can speak, say anything at all, he is stopped by the blur of Frank’s body moving toward him, then the weight of him falling down onto his lap
I had to resist the urge to pump my fist in the air, like in triumph.
Yesyesyes.

I don't know. I wish I could give this story justice with this review, but considering I suck at reviewing and that this story is beyond comprehension, I think I'm just going to curl into a ball and cry.
Stunning.

WOW! omg this was the best everrrr.
i love the ending!! :D

oh how sneeeeky frankie is (;
<3

Wow.

Even though I do not smoke, I think I need to have a cigarette, because that was the best sex ever. HAHA!

Wow.

Just... wow.

Rough. Hardcore. Lust. Love.
It had everything, and then some.

Amaaaazing! <3

OMG.....wow that was absolutley brilliant! I mean, it was so detailed and I loved the tension between the two of them. I was just waiting to see what the other was going to do next. Seriously, this was an absolute masterpiece! And the ending...WOAH! It blew me away! Amazing work! You have so much talent ! :DDDD

Oh....
Oh my God
How did you write that?
It was fucking immense i loved just about every word.
You used to much description and your style was so different to everything else i've ever read before. It's phenominal.

My favourite line was probably the tide coming up behind them and splashing over their colliding bodies.
I don't know why, i just love the way you wrote it.

And the SEX

I don't really have the words for it other than what i said when i'd finished reading it.
"Now that was sex."

xxx

but... but...

so... do they get back together??

do they??

oh please tell me they do!!!

nyah!!

Brilliant. <3

OH my god, that was sooo slippy at the end -frank is soo EVVILL!!!
I LOVE IT!

and i thought he was smiling at the sweet little moment... but then again, it IS Gerard -
one must not condemn his actions >=]

Wowo. I just read this and jesus was it amazing. I think how Frank stole the ticket was cute. :) Very amazing.

xoxo
s.

Dude, that was amazing. :yah
Seriously.
And you thought it was going to be boring. :finger: so stfu, you.

I loved how it ended. Such a happy ending, it's nice to have those for a change sometimes. It was amazingly well-written, and I love how much detail it had.



hothothothohtothothothothtohtothhothothothot.

:file:

Yes, all that. :tehe:

ILY!
:arms:

As JESSIERO said, your writing is amazing.
I'm surprised you don't have more comments for these first two chapters.
-Dev

Oh dammnnn, i can't wait for the 2nd part of this story!
Yr writing is amazing<33

This only has two comments?

seriously?

What the hell?

I agree with Kayla.

All the way!

Update SPoon!

MAH REVIEW.
F0' YEW.

So, obviously, my writing does not pwn yours.
Cause you fucking pwn everything. Kthnkz.

Usually, he has a life; he has something to do, or something to pretend to do, to make it look like he has a life.

That line was just pure perfection. It's just...simple, yet it described it so perfectly. I don't know, there's just something about that line that made me smile like a fucking idiot. It made me chuckle slightly, too, cause he's all, yeah, I have a life.. then he's slowly coming to reason with himself that he does stuff to pretend to have a life. I think it shows off the reality of what a lot of people do so that they'll be accepted by today's society.

He watches the way he turns his head, looks at Frank in the rearview mirror, watching Frank watching him.

Ah, the wonderful use of word repition. I love that, not many people can pull it off well, cause it usually sounds crowded and rushed.. you know what I mean? But that fitted, and I could see Gerard's eyes in the rear view mirror from Frank's point of view. I love how real you make all your descriptions, because I can always relate to them.

“Are you sure that your boyfriend is gonna be okay with that?”

Reading that, then reading the sentences beyond that made me feel insanely jealous. Like, I felt like you put me in the character as Frank, and you just took my emotions and twisted them. It made me feel like I was in love, then my love was just ripped away. It gave me this..weird feeling. I can't describe it, but it was like I was lost for a second there, even forgetting that I was writing this review. It's like that desperate feeling of wanting someone, but have the sour taste just backhand you because you know they're with someone else...Like, the way Gerard just says 'don't' really hits close to home.

He lights one up and takes a drag.

I love smoking scenes. I know it's wrong, I know it's bad for you, but god damn, just imagining Frank Iero or Gerard Way smoking is so undeniably HOT. Seriously, just...

:yah

Yeah, that's how I feel about that. I love your smoking scenes especially, cause they're always so detailed. Yes, it's a fetish of mine in stories. stfu. XD

“Moving…” Frank repeats lowly, lifting his head up to look up at Gerard.

There is such a silent heart break in that one dialog sentence...that one fucking word. Frank's world just silently crashed down, I can feel it, even though you didn't describe it in that sentence. It's just the way it's built up, and the setting it's in, and the way you described everything that just leaves little to my imagination allows me to feel the emotions so perfectly even through one little word.



“Then what is it?” Frank demands, glaring at him.

So tear-worthy. Frank's so spity with Gerard right now, he's just.. broken and destroyed. It's like he can't believe it. It's almost like a funeral. And the paragraphs written before that dialog sentence...they were just.. wow, amazing. I know you're probably sick of hearing this, but they were so emotional.. so real. Again, my insane love for you being able to make everything so real and life like just makes me so jealous. I fucking love it to bits.

“Yes, Frank,” Gerard mutters. “I’m sure.”

His muttering. God, I love it. It's like, again, even with those very few words, very broad words, I can see the bitter and confused look on Gerard's face while he actually takes Frank's question to heart, but then he's muttering, because he's bitter with the truth, and then just lies because he doesn't want an ex-lover to get the best of him.

“Do you remember that time…at your parents’ house?” Frank went on, now fully smiling.

Yes, Yes, YES!
There it is, and you fucking pulled it off better than I ever imagied. I'm fucking serious. It's like, he's so crushed, then he just comes through laughing, and Gerard's like... What? DUDE. I. ARGH! I can't even explain how amazing this whole section is. I can see it so well. I can see Frank, just sitting there and staring at the books, and I can see Gerard standing up, watching him, confused, while Frank has this damn sexy smirk on his face, because he knows that he's going to get Gerard in his trap, he fucking knows. It's like, so heartbreaking then turned into..like..fucking causal laughter. Like, god damn! I loved it! kjsadhfjkasdfjkhdsfsd.

He watches closely as Gerard selects only one of them and holds it out over the coffee table for Frank to see.

Oh yes. Bring on the drugs. Can this story get any fucking better? Well, obviously it can, cause it's not done yet, and leave it to you to leave me stunned with amazement over everything you write. Gah. Amazing.

And then his mother had opened the door.

I can only imagine what was going through his mother's mind. :tehe: I love how they're casually talking about it, but I loved it even more because Gerard was the one who kept the conversation going, even after it died a little.

The ending paragraph and few dialog sentences worried me though, like, I thought Gerard was going to get really pissed, and even while Frank kept kissing him, I thought Gerard was going to push him off, but I felt this...sudden content with the last lines. Gerard gave into him.

I fucking love it.
But that's stating the obvious, I mean, look who wrote it.
ily.

Eye.
Own.
:con: