Trouble - Comments

  • not broke just bent

    not broke just bent (100)

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    definitely grabbed my attention and I would love to know more about Mandy, hope you update soon!:)
    April 7th, 2018 at 09:08am
  • powerofkisses

    powerofkisses (100)

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    It doesn’t suck! I’m liking it!
    March 30th, 2018 at 07:54pm
  • Sids21

    Sids21 (100)

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    @ cobain
    No problem :)
    March 21st, 2018 at 06:50am
  • cobain

    cobain (100)

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    @ Sids21
    thanks for your feedback!! i really appreciate it :)
    March 13th, 2018 at 12:09am
  • Sids21

    Sids21 (100)

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    It's good so far (it is hard to tell with only 1 chapter) but there are are few minor things you could fix up:
    1. Your introducing characters a bit too fast. And their lacking an identity or anything that enables us to differentiate them from other characters.
    2. Try describing certain scenes a little more so we can better capture the mood of the story.
    March 11th, 2018 at 09:59am