I'm here judging entries for my Mistletoe and Wine contest!
Layout / Summary
The layout for this is super-cute! And the summary gives a nice insight into what's going to happen in the story.
Content
I love how cute this is. I know the disappointment that the main character must be feeling at the snow mucking up her plans (and 100% get the whole not knowing it's been snowing thing - I spent a whole 8 hour shift not noticing it was snowing one year and stepped out into a bonafide winter wonderland and was super-shocked!) and for the fact that she won't get to spend her Christmas with her family. I imagine that must be heartbreaking, especially if you've got a close familial bond. And her boyfriend setting all of that up? It's such a tiny little small gesture, but it's one that made my heart feel warm when I was reading it. That's a good catch right there; somebody who notices the sadness of somebody not getting to do what they want to do and goes out of their way to attempt to make things better. It's little gestures like that which make me believe that true love might actually exist.
I think it ended perfectly, too, and I love how you managed to incorporate the title into the last line! Lovely.
Concrit
The only thing I can really say is that I'd have loved this to be longer;. There are aspects where it could have been fleshed-out a little more (i.e. talk more about what she was looking forward to doing when she went home, etc, go more into her disappointment at not being able to go home) and it would have added to the overall feel of the story.
The only real errors I saw were in terms of capitalisation - things like lawyer don't require a capital at the beginning. There were also slight errors in the way that dialogue was set out - if you're using a dialogue tag that runs directly from the dialogue, the punctuation should be changed to a comma and the first word of the dialogue tag should be lowercase, so “Well shit, there’s no way we’re going to be able to leave the city tonight.” She muttered to herself. would be “Well shit, there’s no way we’re going to be able to leave the city tonight,” she muttered to herself.
Overall
This was super, super cute. It read like a Christmas move and even though it's now March, it put me in the Christmas spirit. The errors I pointed out above didn't take away from the story an awful lot and I really enjoyed this piece!
Layout / Summary
The layout for this is super-cute! And the summary gives a nice insight into what's going to happen in the story.
Content
I love how cute this is. I know the disappointment that the main character must be feeling at the snow mucking up her plans (and 100% get the whole not knowing it's been snowing thing - I spent a whole 8 hour shift not noticing it was snowing one year and stepped out into a bonafide winter wonderland and was super-shocked!) and for the fact that she won't get to spend her Christmas with her family. I imagine that must be heartbreaking, especially if you've got a close familial bond. And her boyfriend setting all of that up? It's such a tiny little small gesture, but it's one that made my heart feel warm when I was reading it. That's a good catch right there; somebody who notices the sadness of somebody not getting to do what they want to do and goes out of their way to attempt to make things better. It's little gestures like that which make me believe that true love might actually exist.
I think it ended perfectly, too, and I love how you managed to incorporate the title into the last line! Lovely.
Concrit
The only thing I can really say is that I'd have loved this to be longer;. There are aspects where it could have been fleshed-out a little more (i.e. talk more about what she was looking forward to doing when she went home, etc, go more into her disappointment at not being able to go home) and it would have added to the overall feel of the story.
The only real errors I saw were in terms of capitalisation - things like lawyer don't require a capital at the beginning. There were also slight errors in the way that dialogue was set out - if you're using a dialogue tag that runs directly from the dialogue, the punctuation should be changed to a comma and the first word of the dialogue tag should be lowercase, so “Well shit, there’s no way we’re going to be able to leave the city tonight.” She muttered to herself. would be “Well shit, there’s no way we’re going to be able to leave the city tonight,” she muttered to herself.
Overall
This was super, super cute. It read like a Christmas move and even though it's now March, it put me in the Christmas spirit. The errors I pointed out above didn't take away from the story an awful lot and I really enjoyed this piece!