Guernica - Comments

Wow! I found this story from your post on the "Stories that go unnoticed" thread in the forum (a LONG time ago, I know, but I just found the thread and am reading through it....). This is INCREDIBLE. Your writing style is gorgeous, and your descriptions are amazingly vivid and detailed. Wow, just wow.
Is there any more?

Your writing style is absolutely gorgeous. Your mind must be a very intricate, fascinating spider web in itself. Your words are addicting, wrapping around my mind like a spider mummifying its victum. Your descriptions are incredible. The way you convey emotion is brillant. You make flashbacks suffocating. This story is so intense that part of me is partially frightened to continue reading, but you make it so entrancing that I just have to keep reading.

This story sounds and feels like something I've been searching for. Writing like this is rare. The way you make memories and situations sink in and paint a gruesome, vivid picture. You have the gift of being able to quench a need... to string together words and have it be a true masterpiece. It's more satisfying than having deep moisturizing lotion for cracked, bleeding hands. Your talent... it radiates. It reaches out and grabs people. It plants claws into their minds like an ivy vine.

Your writing is so raw and captivating. I'm in love with this story and your mind. I can't believe I haven't read anything of yours sooner.

Her dark hair is spread out like the spun copper tentacles of a mermaid over both pillowcases, lightly brushing my face as she squirms in her sleep.

Jesus Christ. Reading this...I didn't know it was possible to use so many words like that in one sentence without making it sound...bad. You can't seem to make any sentence sound off.

I can feel flash aneurysms erupting in the soft grey matter under my skull, saturated capillaries hemorrhaging Rorschach blots and Paul Jenkins canvases, the wet dreams of a forensic blood-spatter expert.

LIKE JESUS CHRIST. How are you real.

Also, I'm not big on het. It's rarely done good. But this? Masterpiece. I hope you get published one day. I'd pay to read this.

Elizabeth! Oh my Gosh.
I loved it. Every single sentence.

I wish there was a picture of you like this.

God, that near killed me. God. You've got writers' blood.
You're meant to write, I know this for sure.
There is a picture of you like that. It's your stories. It's all you and it's beautiful.
God Liz.

You know I love you, but then I also admire you on this completely different level.
You are. SO. good!

You know I can't write pretty reviews for shit, but I hope I got the message across.
I loved every bit of this story so far and I am overly excited to see the rest of your pre-written [ ?! you shouldn't have said that!! :mrgreen: ] chapters!

ILY! x morethanyoucancount. : ]

You kill me. Reading your shit is like putting a fucking gun to my head.
GAH! I HATE YOU! :D

Why hasn't this got more comments?

It's one of the most enthralling things I've ever read, seriously. You could probably write about dustbin-liners for six pages and I'd still be sat here, clinging to your every word. I've been longing for an update for a long time, and I'm so glad it's here. :]

I feel so much empathy for Frank. I want him to be okay...

And I've said this in my last comment but I honestly can't pick one favourite line. If I had to go for anything it'd probably be this:

I watched it once after he died, alone on the ratty beige carpet of the living room, and eventually the screams built up so thick inside my chest that I puked them everywhere, blood and chunks of bile and staticky moans still crackling from the shitty TV speaker. My flooded, stinging eyes stayed locked on the moving image – our bodies tangled together on the mattress, my open mouth forming ugly caricatures of pleasure – even as my fingers, slick with bile, desperately searched for the off button.

Just...

I hope you post more soon.

This is absolutely amazing. You're writing is amazing.

One thing that stuck out is how you made the drugs/swearing/sex classy. Usually stories with those kinds of things are tasteless, but you really made it part of the story. The refernces to art fit the story perfectly.

Another thing was the flashbacks. A lot of times flashbacks end up confusing, but you blended them into the story perfectly. I also loved how every sentence has meaning.

I'm just going to wrap this up and say that it's fucking amazing.

PERFECTION

AHH!
I FINALLY FINISHED THIS! :D
And although it's so repetitive over the coarse of time that I've had this mibba to read your stories,
it was AMZING.
YOU'RE A CUNT!:]
Ahh!
You're just like Jesus wrapped up in a person!
You are HANDS DOWN the BEST writer, EVER!
I swear to every word I'm saying right now,
your shit is amazing!
It just fucking blows my mind(Life On The Murder Scene?!!!)
You need to write a book, or a thousand books, and dedicate them all to me! :D
LOSER!

I thought that this is the time that I comment this masterpiece :cute: Because honestly :cheese: cannot describe the feelings that cried and ripped at the pit of my stomach when I read it :cheese:
I'm trying to rewrite this comment because the old one just died because of my stupidity but let's leave that aside. :cute:

Okay let's get started here :XD
When you first began delving into the chapter you see Frankie being high and having these kind of scattered thoughts mixed with all these facts about drowning which somewhat doesn't make sense at first because you can sense that he's not really high on drugs or something due to the somewhat scrambled composure of his interlacing thoughts.
Then you actually wonder, what's he high on? because it seems such a strange question. Strangely, though, I don't think he's high at all. Not in that sense but I think it's pain. That maybe he's high on pain. Which kind of explains to me those not-so-random thoughts about decaying flesh and drowning. But it's just my strange way of liking to complicate things in my head :cute:

This piece actually reminds me of what went on in Guilty Asphyxia -which is one of my faves of your work-. You have this way of deciphering relationships, especially ones this complex, and I have grown to like these kind of relationships because I don't think anyone does them as good as you.

One of the factors that compelled me to keep on reading is how Frankie feels towards her, you know he hates her and he doesn't do anything to hide it because... what's to lose? He's lost the only thing he cared about, right?
But I think it's the nature of how he hates her; he hates her for killing Quinn, for causing but at the same time he's angry at her and Quinn for Quinn's choice to save her instead of him.

Now to the flashbacks, it was scary how much the emotion was vivid and believable. :cheese:
And I love how you pick where to place each flashback and manage to fit them perfectly between Frankie's shattered thoughts like pieces of a puzzle.
Whenever I think that your writing is at its best, you blow me away again :cheese:
I actually love reviewing your stuff, because they're such a joy to read and interpret and they hold you hostage within the words and atmosphere. The whole piece just sends your heart beating along with Frankie's thoughts and her aggressive replies, I could actually listen to her yelling and her gasping breaths andand it's all so pretty that it casts this cloud across your heart as you continue reading

You're just amazing :cheese: Everything you write is pure gold and diamond and gah I'm surprised as to how this didn't get a zillion comments because it's worth it

And this review could be longer and better because this story has so muchgood brilliant things to critique and love.
But god Keep on writing like this and you'll find me memorizing your words like a holy book

I actually don't know what to say about this story to do it justice. It deserves a bloody essay for a comment... but I can't find the words.

I hardly know where to start - but I think I'll begin with the way you integrated past and present and also all those little snippets of facts like 'Left in fresh water, human tissue decays four times slower than in direct sunlight.' It grabbed my attention and made me want to read on so badly - but by the time I'd even gotten that far, I was in love with it. And it was only a few paragraphs in.

Your use of description is mesmerizing. Seriously, I would give my right arm to be able to write like you. I could list endless examples from this story that made me want to be sick with shame of my own writing - but that would take all night. I'll simply say that this one in particular left me reeling:

'He’s not a person any longer, he’s a cancer, metastasized throughout my limbic system and my bloodstream and my brain; he’s an uncontrolled hemorrhage, seeping through the walls of every vein and artery, staining my insides shocking crimson; he’s a fucking infection, contaminating my cells and spawning thousands and thousands and thousands of dirty viral replications; he’s necrotizing fasciitis, the bacteria eating my skin away.'

I can't get over your use of metaphor... GAH. I'm rambling. xD

But anyway, this story has re-booted my faith in Mibba after finding heap upon heap of crappy, thoughtless stories on this site, and has also challenged me to try and write something half as good. I'm really, really looking forward to an update. :]

Oh god, I saw this being recced in the thread, so I decided to give it a try. I'm normally not that game for abstract-ish, angsty fics like this, but this completely, completely changed my view. :cheese:

This fic tore me in two directions - I wanted to read on and on, and feel the speed as I went and feel the mood in the story. I also wanted to linger on every single word, because I could tell that you put so much thought and effort into it; and I was just dying because I didn't know whether I wanted to scroll down quickly or finish reading the sentence.

Here are a couple of things I especially liked about this piece:

1.The title. I assume you're referring to the Picasso, as there are lots of art references in the story as well. I just think that the title is set perfectly- an amazing, haunting painting for an equally wonderful piece of writing. I love this theme of art that you go on, particularly in the first chapter with the “fake Rothko's” in the hall, and “paint repulsive Jackson Pollocks of her insides on the exterior wall of the apartment”, god, I love that line. It's morbid but so beautiful, in a way.

2.The use of flashbacks and italics. I usually hate it when writers go *FLASHBACK* and everything that happened before was in italics and stuff. Well, yet again, you proved me wrong. This whole piece was like a trip into his mind, with memories and thoughts and this first-person-narration that is so real. Loved it.

3.The sex. Yeah. It fit in with the plot, loved how you write it.. 'nuff said.

Overall, you probably can tell that I liked this fic a lot. I've heard a lot of amazing stuff about you as a writer, so I'm glad to have finally checked out your stories. I am definitely, definitely up for more of your work. :cute:

Why do you insist on torturing my Frankie :grr:
No really! Do you enjoy seeing him squirm and be depressed.
Mean! I will bite you relentlessly. I will come to your house and nom nom nom.
Hows that for a good review? What I suck at reviewing so bad because I never know what to say and oddly enough I have trouble finding the words to show how much I love a story. Welll this story is no different so I guess you'll have to deal with my shittastic reviews like I deal with you taking 4 months to comment a chapter of Nanashi XDD But yes, I truly loved it. I especially liked in the second chapter when, as the girl is like trying to get Frank to fuck her, Frank is remembering what happens to the human body as it drowns (i worded that so wrong) It was an interesting contrast between sex and death. Mwaha shitty review, ILY.

This is ... a fucking tumbling adventure of words Guillou would be jealous of.
The way you make the reader feel with your main character, it's ... as though a brain transplant was made and the memories remained.
People wil be quoting you.
And they will be able to walk into whatever bookstore they might feel like entering, and find your work gracing the shelves.
That I have no doubt of.

Oh my God, Liz.

I read this in one shot through and I'm not speechless, just at loss for the right words.
Disgustingly pure, thrilling excitement, it's almost too much to bear and perfect and oh my God so fucking painful.
Beautifully written, the insight on the main character is almost too much to comprehend, to imagine how he'd feel, I can't even begin to..
Your words are tugging at my heart like strings and it's not like anything else.
I am so fucking proud of you, it's like pouring out of my heart and all over the place.

You are incredible and I love you and your writing to bits.

I WILL COMMENT PROPERLY SOMETIME.
BUT JUST KNOW I LOVED IT LIEK WHOA.

Oh, wow. This was...amazing. Beyond amazing. I'm seriously speechless.

I love your writing style, how you repeat certain things, and how you mix facts in with the story.

This is really beautiful, in a morbid way. And the imagery and metaphors you used...Just wow.

This was stunning, I can't wait to read more.

So Liz, I just wanted to let you know that I've read through this
story, and it's fucking AMAZING.



I'm in the process of writing you a nice long review- not only because
this story is so wonderful that it deserves one, but this is a way to
make up for all those reviews i've promised and haven't gotten around to yet.

<3

:cheese: :cheese: :cheese: :cheese:

I couldn't help from coming and reading- I promised myself just to scan it but I actually kinda read like, alot. ALOT. But not it all. Which is silly because now I want to go back and read the rest but I've no tiiiime.

I.O.U. 1 review :arms:

Ily

I only got halfway through this one-
i'll come back later!
But I have to say-
that even after ALL the other fucking, incredible stories you've written that always seem to keep me speachless and in jelous, amazed awe-
you STILL, NEVER cease to amaze me!
It's no fair!
I wish I could do this- make these fucking masterpieces you do,
but I guess i'll just leave it to the pros and enjoy it!

Can't wait to finish this- by the way!!
xoxoxo