HELLO I'm (finally) here to comment for the text / chat contest!
Okay, there are so many things I love about this story so I'm just going to formulate this in no particular order in a list style: 1) The way you incorporated the chosen text - I liked that you used the text directly as conversation but also the feel of the story just fit so well to the text. There was such an easy going flow and it read so easy, I felt myself swept up in the story and in a sense lost track of time, which is odd to say considering it was a short story. I feel like it can be hard to capture the feeling of freedom, especially when there's love involved but I honestly think you nailed it. 2) The nods to Melbourne here and there. What's not to like? 3) In the beginning, you set the scene really well in both a descriptive and 'real' sense - I especially liked when you described the kind of nights you wanted to spend with the other person, warm days and laughter. 4) Another thing I really enjoyed was that despite the easy going and lighthearted nature of this piece, you gave it some depth with mentioning that the other person didn't enjoy admitting their feelings (honestly, relatable) and so knowing there was a different side to them gave the story a bit more flesh. 5) The ending is so sweet, it felt a little bittersweet in your ending line but overall I really enjoyed how sweet the piece was. Light and easy with a relationship where there's more than just meets the eye, and a couple you can't help but root for. 6) And just in general I really enjoy your writing so this was a treat for me to read. Thanks for entering!
Okay, there are so many things I love about this story so I'm just going to formulate this in no particular order in a list style:
1) The way you incorporated the chosen text - I liked that you used the text directly as conversation but also the feel of the story just fit so well to the text. There was such an easy going flow and it read so easy, I felt myself swept up in the story and in a sense lost track of time, which is odd to say considering it was a short story. I feel like it can be hard to capture the feeling of freedom, especially when there's love involved but I honestly think you nailed it.
2) The nods to Melbourne here and there. What's not to like?
3) In the beginning, you set the scene really well in both a descriptive and 'real' sense - I especially liked when you described the kind of nights you wanted to spend with the other person, warm days and laughter.
4) Another thing I really enjoyed was that despite the easy going and lighthearted nature of this piece, you gave it some depth with mentioning that the other person didn't enjoy admitting their feelings (honestly, relatable) and so knowing there was a different side to them gave the story a bit more flesh.
5) The ending is so sweet, it felt a little bittersweet in your ending line but overall I really enjoyed how sweet the piece was. Light and easy with a relationship where there's more than just meets the eye, and a couple you can't help but root for.
6) And just in general I really enjoy your writing so this was a treat for me to read.
Thanks for entering!