The Mystic Witches - Comments

  • CosmicStarz

    CosmicStarz (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    16
    Location:
    United States
    @ Thalkon Roiy Denn
    Thank you so much for your feedback! I will take those two points you stated to heart but overall I'm glad you liked the first chapter! I will update this one and edit all those mistakes and I will post the next chapter in a few minutes. Thank you so much
    December 8th, 2021 at 09:36pm
  • Thalkon Roiy Denn

    Thalkon Roiy Denn (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    I just found your story, and am currently loving the premise of it. I wanted to mention two things that I noticed, and then will go into how I enjoy your writing currently. First thing is that when you're writing someone's speaking part, the punctuation goes inside the quotations. First example that I of this that I saw was "Sup"!, Jordan said to her. You don't need the comma after the exclamation point. The sentence would be better represented by "Sup!" Jordan said to her. Secondly, I'm only saying this because I've seen it turn into turn off on stories, and I'd hate for that to happen to you. Make sure when you have a second person speaking, you give them separate paragraphs.

    Now, besides those points I loved how you went about introducing your characters, I got a decent feel for them, and I will get to know them more as your story progresses. I also like the way you showed Jordan and Kris being best friends, and how they like to tease each other. Very much like best friends. I can't mention a whole lot on the plot, because it's your first chapter, but I will be subscribing. I can not wait to read more. Keep up the good work!
    December 8th, 2021 at 08:09pm