A Good Time - Comments

@ keigo takami.
God that’s 2014 era XD oop (I do have a few Billy/Stu fics on here though!)

Thank you so much, I got a little discouraged because I felt this chapter was a little short but now that I look back at it, I think it’s a good start!

Listen Lily-Pad IS a cute nickname I love it and we’re going to love her in this story

Welcome back to Slash! Although I’ll have to get used to the original fiction. XD Last time I read slash from you was for bandom.

First of all, love how it was written! Honestly, I’m so proud of how far you’ve come within your own writing! Definitely don’t be discouraged by the word count! You’re starting something new and it’s a lot of work to create a universe with people, occupations, rules, etc. The more you get into writing it, I’m sure it will be easier to make that word count grow.

Despite the length of the chapter so far (something is better than nothing, don’t worry!), I like that you can kind of get the vibe of who Levi is within the short exchange of dialogue and the beginning narration. I love the playful, friendly banter he has with Lily. You can easily tell as a reader that they’ve had a long friendship; you didn’t have to try too hard to make it obvious. Also, literally “Lily-pad” is such a cute nickname. So country boy.

No real critiques so far. I think you’ve introduced one of the main characters well and the objective of him needing to hire people well. Overall, I’m excited to see where you take this story. :D