How I Became A Werewolf Bodyguard - Comments

I reallly like Kade and Fallon the best <33 hope that helps the vote :D

Kade and raiden

I so love this story, sorry i have left any feed back got to love the hoildays... but my picks are.....Kaige, Raiden i have always loved those names...

Kaige and Fallon I think sound the best :)

Kade and Fallon are my top picks

I like Ashtant and Kade

Kaige and Strant xD

Glavon and Kade are my fav.
And i loved the story!
:D

This was pretty good. A lot of the time when you run into stories about vampires or werewolves they all end up having the same plot, or they're copied off Twilight. You really managed to take this story away from the plot most people use. It ended up being pretty believable as well, there wasn't really anything that stuck out as being completely unrealistic. There were no contradictions with your writing, which is a very good thing. I've seen people change characters names after being gone for a while, and they never even notice, or if the do they don't care. You did a very goood job on this. You have a very good writing style and I can't wait to read more of your work.

That... Was.... AWESOME!

It certainly set the sequel up pretty nicely, if I do say so myself. Good job!
And now I wait even more impatiently for the sequel... unless you've already put it up and didn't link it to the previous story, and now I'm rambling.
lol

Anyways, this was very well done and I apologize that I can't do that critique thing that's in the last chapter since I'm an epic fail. Buuuut.... Kudos!!

:D:D:D

Hi, I love this story and saw the questions on the last 'chapter' so decided to answer them...
1. I think the setting was believeable, although it was not constantly exact, and the descriptions occasionally lacked in detail. This was a good thing. It allowed the reader (me) to imagine the settings in my mind. It was definetly believeable though!
2.The characters were believable, unlike many other stories the entire love concept between Marlee and Thraxx wasn't rushed or overally exageratted, this meant that it really felt as though it were a real person.
3.The plot was original, it constantly kept me guessing, the plot twists were inventive and the murder meant that suspision was put on Nikoli, which was a brilliant story line, especially as he turned out to be a best friend of Thraxx's.
4.The Story flowed well and the occasional cliffhanger made it interesting.
5. I don't think any of it was confusing or rushed, maybe the last chapter. I think the fight scene could maybe have been detailed more, but that is only personal preference.
6. The fact that the characters felt like real people, gave them depth, you could understand the thought process going on behind each character.
7. My favourite character was probably Thraxx, but I think this is mainly due to being able to understand how much Marlee did find herself in awe of him.
8. My favourite part, was in Chapter 24, when Thraxx wants Marlee to leave Vaunders office with him, but Vaunders says no, and so despite the feeling of power Thraxx casts across her, she stays. I like this part beacause it really shows how much she naturally needs to be near with Thraxx.
9. My Favourite line was in Chapter 23: 'He nudged my shoulder again, "Come on. Laughing is better than having to see that guy's hairy butt in one of your thongs."' It's my favourite, because it kind of breaks Thraxx's usual demenour, in that he doesn't often act in such a way.
10. I 'felt a bond' with Marlee, because due to your style of writing, I understand her and what she wants.
11. If it was published, not only would I buy it, but I would also encourage many others to do the same, I love being able to read books repeatedly, and like this online, is generally annoying, as I can't flick to my favourite parts to re-read them as easily.
12. I would tell my friends that they should read it, and that it will make them want to Marlee.
13. The only way I would suggest to improve your story, would be to increase the amount of suspence, or actual scenes where Marlee and Thraxx are together. However, this would probably cheapen the story and so this improvement would merely be a selfish sugestion, in that i think they belong together :)
Overall, it was an amazing story and I cannot wait for a sequel, if you are still going to do one! Anyway, this comment is long enough, I hope this helps in answer to your questions!
Loved It

Is there going to be a sequel

Questions:
1.) Was the setting believeable?
Yes.

2.) Were the character's believeable?
Yes.

3.) Was the plot good and/or original?
Definately original.

4.) How was the flow of the story from one chapter to the next?
It was good.

5.) Were there any parts you felt were rushed? or that you were confused on? If so, could you please state which parts?
I didn't feel as if I was rushed. The flow of the story was good, at the beginning it was sorta slow but most stories are like that. It picked up right away.

6.) How was the depth of the characters?
I love Marlee and Thraxx [of course] I think their charactesr were great, really had personally. Everyone else did too but I don't really ave an opinion on them bcause I tend to pay more attention to main character pair.

7.) Who was your favorite character?
... Hm... Thraxx ... no... Marlee.
Both I guess.

8.) What was your favorite part?
I liked that parts where Marlee gets in fights. It's very different because a lot of people make their main female lead weak and damsel-in-distressish but Marlee was great.

9.) Did you have a favorite line from the story? If so, which one was it?
Its more of a favorite part...
["Don't worry, Marlee. Thraxx is tasty." Solomon added.

I turned toward him in surprise. My lips twitched in amusement. Did he realize what he had just said and how it could be misconstrued? I couldn't hold it in. I laughed, arms holding my stomach as I curled into the fetal position.

"Uh, thanks?" Thraxx said.]

10.) Is there a character that you felt a bond with? If so, which character?
I bonded more with Solomon even though he's not my favorite.
I definately felt a deep connection with him.

11.) If this story was revised, thoroughly edited, and published (one day) would you buy it?
Hell freaking yes.

12.) If this story was published and you did buy it, would you tell your friends about it?
Hell freaking yes.

13.) Anything else you need to ask me/think I should know to improve my story?
I just wanted to say I really liked your use of various and unique names. Though I'd have loved to see a Jim or Bob or Joe in there somewhere... More maybe a Billy Bob Joe.
Oh yes... A SEQUEL!
Like totally.

1.) Was the setting believeable? very. i can see in my head the whole house and the woods ect

2.) Were the character's believeable? yes. you can tell that they're real people, not cliche at all!

3.) Was the plot good and/or original? love the plot! and i love all the explainations of the pack relationships and stuff. very gd

4.) How was the flow of the story from one chapter to the next? really gd. i read many chapters at a time and i didn't even realise i was changing chapters!

5.) Were there any parts you felt were rushed? or that you were confused on? If so, could you please state which parts? (by the way if you were confused I noticed some people skipped chapters so maybe you want to go back and make sure you read it all). nope not at all, i completley understood everything and it played out at a perfect pace

6.) How was the depth of the characters? very intimate. i get a connection with marlee and i love how none of the characters are predictable in what they do, it makes it seem so much more real.

7.) Who was your favorite character?marlee deffo. nothin like a strong female herion to get u into the story!

8.) What was your favorite part? wen they were in the woods after she's pushed him into the river and they got interupted, i was like nooo!!!! lol

9.) Did you have a favorite line from the story? If so, which one was it? not really. for me, none of the lines or anything were very cliche and so i got a sense as if it was a body of work, not just one liners splashed in the story here and there.

10.) Is there a character that you felt a bond with? If so, which character? Thraxx, because through marlee's eyes (whom i also bonded with) you get a sense of exactly whathe's thinking and feeling even if she doesn't know herself all of the time

11.) If this story was revised, thoroughly edited, and published (one day) would you buy it? definatley, i love and story in this genre and this style of writing and i hope i will be buying it from the shops!

12.) If this story was published and you did buy it, would you tell your friends about it? i always tell my friends about a gd book i read ( i got a few of them into twilight by doing that) and i wud recommend this story to random passers by lol

13.) Anything else you need to ask me/think I should know to improve my story? WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!!!!

is there gonna be a sequal?

1.) Was the setting believeable?
I thought it was. I think it was good that you didn't really specify a city or anything, because with the very natural setting you had, it might not have fit with the place. I think you did a really good job with the setting, especially some of the descriptions.

2.) Were the character's believeable?
I think that all the characters were very believeable. Of course, there are always times when things sound a little off, but that happens in real life too, so it was perfect.

3.) Was the plot good and/or original?
This is the only story I've ever read about this kind of thing, anywhere. It was very original and very good. I fell in love with it!

4.) How was the flow of the story from one chapter to the next?
Don't take this the wrong way, but I do think some of your transitions were a little choppy. Though never really between chapters, just in the story itself. But that might just be me, I'm extremely critical.

5.) Were there any parts you felt were rushed? or that you were confused on? If so, could you please state which parts? I actually felt that you eased into most things extremely well. There was never a very big rush. Truthfully, I think in some places you could have gone a little faster. But I think that's the beauty, because most stories rush right in and you took your time. I like that a lot(:

6.) How was the depth of the characters?
I personally think that you could have given the main characters(Marlee and Thraxx) a little more background. I would have liked to hear a bit more about how Marlee was turned and about her brothers, you know?

7.) Who was your favorite character?
Uhm, I actually really loved all the characters. I don't think I could pick one if I tried, haha. Though I did like Tirsyn quite a lot. I was sad when he didn't come in after chapter twenty-five.

8.) What was your favorite part?
I liked the chapters of the full moon, where Marlee joined the pack.

9.) Did you have a favorite line from the story? If so, which one was it?
There were far to many hilarious comments made by Marlee for me to choose one that I like most.

10.) Is there a character that you felt a bond with? If so, which character?
Marlee(:

11.) If this story was revised, thoroughly edited, and published (one day) would you buy it?
Fuck yes I would.

12.) If this story was published and you did buy it, would you tell your friends about it?
Again I say, Fuck yes I would.

13.) Anything else you need to ask me/think I should know to improve my story?
I'd just say go back and look at your grammar. There weren't too many mistakes but there were a few that I caught. Also, there were a few things that were dropped in the story. Like Tirsyn and Dr. Yuron, and Jax and people like that. I think that if they stayed in the story longer it would have given it a bit of diversity. That's just my opinion, though(:

Was the setting believeable? Yeah, I think it was. Everything fit in with modern day culture and lifestyle, but still had the fantasy aspect (obviously)

Were the characters believeable? Yesm, they all had different traits and personalities which made them unique and interesting to read about.

Was the plot good and/or origional? Heck yes! I've never read anything so origional! But then again, I've only read a few werewolf stories... The plot was good, a few things I didn't see coming. EG I didn't think Nikoli was actually a good guy... Although Thraxx and Marlee getting together was a bit predictable, it was still really good. What's a story without romance eh?

Were there any parts you felt were rushed etc? Not really no... It all seemed to work together nicely.

How was the depth of the characters? Pretty good I think. Um... I don't really know what to put here..

Who was your favourite character? (and why?) Erm... That's tricky... Solomon probably, he's so adorable... When he got invited to that club... Such a sweetie.

What was your favourite part? The club. Most definately. That's probably because I love clubs, but whatever. I think you caught the atmosphere really well.

Did you have a favourite line in the story? Um... "Touch me like that again... and I'll rip your throat out." It's just so awesomely... awesome xD

Is there a character you felt a bond with? Um... Not really... When I read things, I try to remain seperate from the characters so I don't cry lol

Blah blah blah would I buy it? Erm... Yes, I believe I would. It's pretty awesome.

Blah blah blah would I reccomend it? Yeah, my friends are all really into fantasy and vampire/werewolf stories. I'd hand it around and get everyone to have a read (a few of your other subscribers are my friends)

Blah blah improvements? Erm... The hunt scene should be re-done.... I don't know how... but it needs to have more detail and description of what she's experiencing, hunting with a pack for the first time. The emotions flowing through her etc.

Hope that's helpful, sorry that I didn't write out all the questions fully, I got bored copying them out...
I really do love your story, it's so unique and captivating. One of those 'can't put it down' reads. It never slows down, there's never a lull in the action and I enjoy that in a story.

xox

this is a great story, I love it!!!

1.) Was the setting believeable? Very. X3

2.) Were the character's believeable? Yep!

3.) Was the plot good and/or original? Yeah! I never read anything like it.

4.) How was the flow of the story from one chapter to the next? Awesome!

5.) Were there any parts you felt were rushed? or that you were confused on? If so, could you please state which parts? (by the way if you were confused I noticed some people skipped chapters so maybe you want to go back and make sure you read it all) Not really. X3

6.) How was the depth of the characters? Deep as a ocean.

7.) Who was your favorite character? That one guy who got his ass kicked by Marlee. XD

8.) What was your favorite part? Where that one guy got his ass kicked by Marlee! XP

9.) Did you have a favorite line from the story? If so, which one was it? "I'm staying here." X3

10.) Is there a character that you felt a bond with? If so, which character? If this story was revised, thoroughly edited, and published (one day) would you buy it?
No. and HELL YEAH! XD

11.) If this story was revised, thoroughly edited, and published (one day) would you buy it? HELL YEAH

12.) If this story was published and you did buy it, would you tell your friends about it? CHYEAH

13.) Anything else you need to ask me/think I should know to improve my story? A sequel!! X3

wait, wait, wait,
hold up.
that was the ending?
please no.
i love this story. i squeal every time i see an update.
sequal? please?????