September 25th, 2008 at 12:37am
I haven’t really come across that many dialogue-based stories here or anywhere else, and I guess I can say I’m a little wary of them, given they have to convey it all through speech instead of description. But the premise of this story (how it’s based around Brokeback Mountain) was what intrigued me, really, and I knew you could pull it off, because your writing never fails to amaze.
This piece really relies on dialogue (as I said before) to portray the characters, their relationship and the situation they’re in, and it did so. I’ll admit I got muddled up between who was talking, but that’s just me being slow. :file: And reading it slowly not only helps to establish which of the two is talking, but it lets the words sink in.
"What do you think? I love you and you love me. I hurt you and you want me to hurt you. You fucking want me to hurt you."
It kind of seems from this part that one is the sadist and the other is the masochist; their relationship is hurting them, but at the same time they seem to love that hurt, because they’re in love. If I’m making any sense at all. It makes it all the more real, because love is happiness, but love can also be pain. It seems as though it’s this pain keeping them together, because without this hurt and pain, there wouldn’t be any love.
"Like the blood slithering across my fingers and my heart... is my sanity going?"
"Just kiss me."
And it appears that the Jack character (I’m pretty sure it’s him) is the more naïve out of the two; he doesn’t want to acknowledge this hurt, and just wants the other character to kiss him. While the Ennis character is more determined to talk out about their situation.
The ending was beautiful. I liked how it related to the title, and kind of echoed that that place is their place in a way; and it helps to keep them together.
:arms: ILY
But from what you've written so far, it does seem interesting.
It was deffinitley the intenstiy of the conversation that made me want to read on.
You should really update, too :)