Love's Such An Old-Fashioned Word. - Comments

It's two in the morning and I just finished my Role Play response. I have Taking Back Sunday and The Used and Lights.Action! playing in the background while I wait for you to return. I'm sorry it takes me such a hard time to actually get to this commenting shit, and that I'm only doing one right now. I'm not positive the reason for reviewing this one at this point in time. It made me so happy, I guess is why. Because like has been said above, it was adorable and well written; concoctions to make a reader melt into the loving moment of an ink based relationship. I'd been so very excited to read it from those little snippets you gave me, and I finally got to meet the whole thing. I really can't decide why you said you didn't like it, but oh well. /I/ did. And so did others. And I loved the layout colors with the picture. I'm attempting to do this a different way than I usually do. It's like adjusting to new sex positions or killing techniques.

First; the descriptions. Of course, you get a first impression on the writing by one's first paragraph. Yours was a success. Immediately, we get to know what's going on in a way that has been written so crazily amazing. I don't even want to begin to explain how so; the most I can do is quote it, and you've obviously already seen it. It's just this soft, beautiful acoustic song recorded in a studio of paper by a story telling band. And it stays like that. The way Branden is hanging over the windowsill adds more to the picture. It's funny. That was pretty much my pose at the hotel, though it was to watch Brokeback Mountain repetitively and question why I'm not lying on the ground down there yet like the others. You didn't just stop at the male's posture. You went on to his shirt and even more so put a huge meaning to it. I hate to say these kinds of things, but I'm jealous. I wish I wrote like that. So bad. Your writing is so magical and beautiful.

Branden and Jepha's actions to each other fit very well with their relationship, and sort of made me smile for them. Because, again, it was just adorable to read. Plus, it gave me a whole picture of it in my head. In fact, it wasn't in a scenery like my house at all, like it usually is. It seemed like Jepha woke up in some bed, scurried down a hall for a couple of steps, passing the tan walls (thanks to the background color) and caught up to Branden hanging out of a white window. And again, the physical movements. When he stroked his hand over Branden's neck and proceeded to kiss over the same area, it was another one of those unexplainable glories.

From the late-night compulsions he had to do the laundry, to the sometimes weird way he would sneak up on Branden inside the house at any time and tackle him into holding him or even making love to him. Those things, he didn’t complain about.

I was in love with that line since you read it to me. Mainly, for the fact I can imagine how cute/funny it would be for Jepha to stalk Branden and as he came back from doing the laundry, he'd jump into a hug after leaping from under the table or something. Lawls. It must be very comforting to know you had somebody you loved and trusted to be there always, somewhere in the house when you felt alone or just longed arms. It kind of makes me feel weak, sickness or not. I'm not sure if it's a good or a bad feeling. Feeling happy for somebody else or because I think it's depriving? Or maybe it's because I'm afraid for them. In case something happens and they don't feel that same love anymore. With their relationship now it'd be obviously hard on them. However, this does not happen in the story, so I don't know why I fret. And the whole bed-tackling thing. It was so nice. Just another one of those things that makes me smile out of the corners of my mouth.

Two. Dialogue. Didn't think I'd forget about all that, did you? That would be a sin, judging by how well you did with yours and the ultimate perfection they carried and laied over the story. The story wouldn't have been as much as it is now if Branden and Jepha had spoken naught words. The first conversation topic made me laugh a bit, though that's not a bad thing. I just thought I might as well be honest with myself. Obviously it was laughter because I was entertained by their words, and the whole "then I did disturb your thing" was lightly sharp while Jepha had claimed "not at all." I do like the idea of Jepha coming to find him rather than what would it have been like if he was lying there as usual. It just feels better this way. I also brought up that fucking word "adorable" again when Jepha asked to sit next to his lover. Closeness. And over the world from a small ledge. Man. It's like. Being infinite. And again, I'm jealous of how well you wrote it.

The whole "with another person" killed me so bad. How sweet Branden's reply was and the sincerity. How much of a description about it he gave for something he simply could have said "no" to instead. It was kind of scary, though. I was afraid that Jepha was going to say he was dating somebody else or that he didn't want to keep their relationship so close. However, with Jepha's following words, it felt better all at once and I was less concerned with that point. And the last scene. It was. Just so. So much like the rest of the story in the sense of.

Oh my god, aw!
That was really, really cute.
You're such a good author!

Aww, that was really cute! And I liked the writing ^^
Sad that it's only a one-shot but still very good!

Some drabble that I came up with after finding out that I would be getting a new private tutor in writing. Though, this one-shot was never presented to him.

I dedicate this to 'The Rippers'.