Just A Game. - Comments

A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!
Wow I really liked the ending...
Loved it!

That was a very interesting oneshot. I didn't think Gerard would kill him, I honestly didn't. It was a nice ending though, sorta one of those "okay what the hell just happened" endings that you have to read twice...well, for me anyway. I enjoyed reading it. It was creepy and interesting.

Just A Game

I don't normally read slash, but I figured I'd try this one out. The title and the summary caught my attention.

"I'm gonna make your guts spill all over this floor and you'll be so proud of me.

What a starting sentence. lol. Way to grab someone's attention, that's for sure. Really, really creepy.

"You're gonna be so proud watching me from hell, so proud." A face-ripping smile rides my cheeks as I kiss his broken cheek and pin him down, so close to the floor that I could see and touch every tile-bump and crease through his insides; all while that cold-hot barrel almost clinging to his brains if it wasn't for that alabaster-coated skull of his.

That entire paragraph was just insanely creepy for some reason. I could actually picture it in my head. Gerard's completely crazy, you made that pretty obvious in the way you made him talk, not to mention his actions.

Playing with lives, playing with Frankie's life like it was a bug's; to squish or not to squish? Sounds like a simple question.

So if it wasn't already obvious how insane he was, it would be right about now. :file:

Antics that start with a gun for Gerard and ends with a pain in the sides for Frankie.

He was just this soft-eyed petite babydoll, all colored but still childish with haunting rotten-apple eyes.
They just wouldn't die down.

I liked the way you described his eyes-- just the way you describe things in general is amazing. Not too over the top, but effective enough to make things to where the reader can visualize it.

There are several other lines I could quote, but I won't. I'll just say Gerard's building anger was very creepy. The way he kept on saying that he would do it, it seemed like he was trying to convince himself that he would do it. Not just Frank.

"...Frankie?" Clink. Metal hits wood in a swarm of tiny big sounds and blood rush whirling in my eardrums.

Frankie's not breathing.

You should've played by the rules, baby.
No rules.

At first, I didn't really think he was going to kill him. I don't know why I figured it would end with him not doing it. Especially as crazy as he acted; it should have been obvious. Anyway, very nice ending.

Overall, it was really interesting. If you were going for creepy- you got that down. lol You're a really great author. :con:

woah, but that's a good kind of woah :3
wicked cool story, gerard's the maniac.
reminds me of Light Yagami, playing godly xD