Frank And Evan's Amazing Day - Comments

Absolutely hysterical :D
Fanfiction based off fanfiction. I love it
*subscribes*

Ah, brilliant! :D
I can't wait to see what else you have in store.
You're almost Jinxeh in disguise! :O

No Man's Land is awesome, and since this is pretty much based off it... It's awesome too!
That last part with Frank pretending to be mexican totally cracked me up. I almost fell of my chair to be honest.
Jackie's reaction was priceless. I wonder what Frank was saying to him though.

And when Evan said "Oh okay we won't glomp anymore."
I just thought they were gonna do some other random thing, and that dude would kick them out or something.

Anyway, you're a great writer. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Yes, I promised you a nice comment. Don't worry I remember.

Let's start of that this was just a great story, you portrayed the characters all so great and you just got Jackie and Evan down so good. Frank was his usual hyper self (as he often is in fanfiction) but I had no idea he could speak Spanish. Unless Ray taught him a bit. I can see him talk Italian though, but that's just me.

I love the coffee shop's manager, and the girl. They're both so random and bring the two guitarists down that you'd actually feel sorry for them. Yet, this is Frank and Evan and you just can't get them completely down. Just give them coffee and some shopping time together and they'll be fine, this fic has proven it.

Oh and the glomping thing? Best thing ever just so you know. It's a miracle they didn't get anybody between them during the glomp and so ended up glomping a random individual. But whatever.

And of course Evan is sexier than Gerard Way. He has Anna, and he lives with Jackie, and ... yeah. He has Frank. But Gerard also has Frank and Jackie...(this is hard...-whines-). But still, Evan > Gerard (at least in this).

Having the mental of Frank in a fat suit talking Spanish to Jackie and Jackie just thinking somebody ordered Mexican must be one of the greatest visuals I ever had. Even if I had no single idea on what he was yelling at the poor singer.

In overall, a great story, can't wait for more and you certainly did your best on this story! Good job.

HA HA, HA HA, HA HA, HA HA, HA.

THAT was priceless. Pure priceless.

It's all just so.... you know. Frank and Evan. Even the childishly simple title "Frank and Evan's Amazing Day" is just so reflective of the mood you set. Yay Cherry!!

(And, may I add, it's a plus that the chapters have English titles rather than French. How'd you do on the exam, by the way? Whatever. Irrelevant.)

Firstly, the glumping. Laughed out loud, literally. So Evan/Frank. Their minds are on such the same level, I don't even beleive it. They are CLEARLY meant to be. Obviously. =)

(Except for the fact that, you know, Evan is MINE. Whatever. Irrelevent, again.)

Secondly:

'In a split second, there was a wide grin on Evan's face as he replied, "Yay, I'm sexier than Gerard Way! Ego boost, all right!"

Suddenly, a girl in front of Frank and Evan in line turned around to face them, her long brown hair whipping past her head and almost hitting Frank in the face. "No," she said sternly, looking Evan in the eye, "You are not sexier than Gerard Way. No one is sexier than Gerard Way." And, as abruptly as she faced them, she whipped back around to face forward towards the ever-approaching counter.'

NEED I SAY MORE? Pure brilliance. I hear this is Jinxeh's doing, so kudos to you Jinxeh!!! Too perfect.

I love the way that you portrayed Jackie, too. And Gerard. You did an unbeleivably good job with portraying the character's personalities, especially seeing as none of them are yours. Your powers of description shine through, as usual.

Wonderful, dahling. You did them proud. Can't wait for more!!!

Love ME!

First commenter, boo-yah. First, let me just say that I find it astounding that anyone would write fanfiction based on my fanfiction in the first place. And the fact that the person who did it is such a fabulous writer herself...I'm actually quite flattered, just so you know. :hug:

Though one thing. There were a couple of lines of dialogue that weren't ended correctly. If the end of the dialogue is the end of the paragraph, use a period. You used a comma instead, a couple of times, like for these lines:

"You look like a weird Mexican uncle,"

"All right! I'm so buying this,"

=)

I actually kind of really love that Gerard just kind of stood there and accepted that there was probably nothing he could do, or anything he really wanted to. It's an amusing mental image, him just smoking his cigarette and casually observing.

Mikey needs a bottom bunk. Sheesh, dude...

"How's it coming? Do you have the fat suit on yet?" Evan whispered with his hands near the door, his eyes suspiciously wandering to the left where the rest of the band members slept.

"No! This stupid thing is too sticky...it's like they used actual fat in this and not like, cotton or something...."

"Here, lemme help," Evan said, opening the bathroom door and squeezing into the bathroom. The room was cramped already, with a toilet and sink taking up most of the available space. But with Frank's extra-large fat suit crammed inside the room as well, there wasn't nearly any space left for Evan to stand, so he ended up sitting precariously on the sink instead.

Everything moved rather smoothly after that, even though Evan leaned back and accidentally turned on the cold water from the sink and it got the whole backside of his shirt and jeans wet, which caused Frank to have a laughing fit. But Evan got his revenge when Frank wasn't able to get out of the bathroom because of all the extra mass he had recently acquired. They both had to squeeze everything through the door and Frank almost knocked his head on the side of the refrigerator right in front of him.

I laughed so hard when I first read this scene; you have no idea... :lmfao

Jackie yelling about the Mexican food is very...Jackie-ish. He'd probably suspect Taffy right off the bat, though. The man has a thing for Mexican food, even though it usually gives him heartburn. He's a glutton for punishment, I guess.

Overall, I enjoyed this chapter! Though might I suggest removing the little emoticons and ":D" symbols and stuff from the summary? When people see that it doesn't really scream, "I'm professional, and my story will be too," and it might make them less likely to read it. Though that might just be me; I'm a stickler about such things, though I know not everyone is, so eh...

I wish I knew how to leave super-long comments like you.

Don't worry about updates. Your writing is worth the wait. :mrgreen: