Dreamcatcher - Comments

Finally you have a story! And updated your darn profile.

Well it's good, really. It's so mysterious, and yeah, the setting and everything, it's really good. You describe things very vividly, that's good. It draws the reader in. I thought at first that it was a love story, since you described the boy like you love him or something. But whoa Addie, I've never seen you write like that. Good job, hon/ bie/ cunt.

Jeez, Emms.
Thanks, like a lot a lot.
No seriously, you actually reviewed by shizz.
-iz in shock-
<3

:tehe:
New thread new thread!
:XD

So whoo, professional review okay.

First off, I like the imagery used. I like the falling and the darkness surrounding the first paragraph. Its a very good analogy because I see the beauty in it, the abyss, yet I see fear and I find it to be a great hook.

casting a sickening orange glow on the space around it.
The tree was interesting to say the least. There was something literal about it, yet we all knew it was a part of the narrator's subconscious. This line in particular, I like how instead of the word beautiful, you used sickening. The vicous and the harshness of the words redirect the mood a lot and I like how its still consistent with your introduction.

a stampede of faceless people coming for him.
Faceless; again its the imagery. You stay very constant with the storyline and the atmosphere. The infinite darkness, the fantasy like realm, its all very intricate and beautiful. There were a few problem I noticed like a lack of capitalisation but its very minor and it was only because I was paying a lot of attetion I noticed it.

protect this stranger,
Now this was spectacular. Because we always wanna know who is this elusive "he" you seem to be talking about but then again, the man you meet is a stranger. It adds to the mystical aura and of course the dream setting. You pointed out something I like which is that, there isn't always happy endings. And the hopelessness of the narrator is endearing, in a heartbreaking way.

The lyrics at the end, you know its one of my favourite songs. I like it and how it ties in with the whole story. Admirable effort.

Just a suggestion, you could post an excerpt maybe at the summary because people might mistake this for a fanfic for Stephen King's novel of the same name.