My Mother Believed in Water Nymphs - Comments

Such a sad story. :( I really liked it though...

That was gorgeous.
It made me cry.
My mother passed away recently and it made me think of her.

Beautiful.
Kind of makes we wish my life was more...interesting or complicated.
Lovely work. Sweet. :)

I was gone for three days. I miss your stories! Boredom killed me, really, without nothing to read. Psh. I don't read books, but I read stories on Mibba. ::teehe:

That was beautiful! Oh my God, it was so, so, so incredible. No one in my class will tell something like that about their parents. Me neither, hee.

it's just so imagineative i love it!

My mother saw beauty in everything except the darkness. She was always afraid of the dark, of what might be hiding in it, waiting to hurt her or the people she loved.
that killed me inside and I don't know why
it made my heart hurt in an amazing way

This made me cry
Dru, you are talented, you should never stop using this talent you have, someday, it will be you living, I can see it.

xx

She always talked about things like that. Water spirits and tree spirits, muses and goddesses. Those were the bedtime stories I heard.
That sounds so enchanting to me... perhaps if his mother had lived, he would have grown up and looked upon those stories with bright eyes and a smile.

I found out the day of the funeral, when I saw her sleeping in the casket, unsmiling.
That was written perfectly, considering Ryan's age when it happened. It's so delicate yet devastating... a horrible experience. It's so sweet and depressing how child comprehend things.

My dad started drinking. I had to go to therapy once a week. My dad threw all of Mommy’s things in the trash. Spencer and I rescued them and hid them in my closet. I read her books at night, letting my fingers run over the pictures of the nymphs and the goddesses. I tried to read her journals, but her handwriting was too messy.
That was a brilliant part. I could picture it clear as day. I like how he says, "my dad" and "Mommy's things". Looks like his father developed an unhealthy coping mechanism. :file:

By the time I was thirteen and we got the assignment, I had forgotten the stories.
That's so sad! Oh, that breaks my heart. His mother was no longer there to repeat the stories and she probably tagged them with negative things, hence his memory pushing them into the depth of his mind where they were unreachable.

I didn’t really want to write about Mom, or maybe I did.
I love the hint of indecision that's present, as well as the fact that he's willing to admit that he doesn't know.

It scared me at first when I saw that our handwriting was identical.
That is my favorite line from the entire story. It manifests so much fear and memories and heartbreak. I relate to it in a way, too. It definately strikes a cord and is the most haunting line, in my opinion.

’They’re back again, the night demons, I saw their red eyes in the dark last night. At first, I was paralyzed, but then I ran through the darkness to make sure Ryan was safe. I’m not going to let the demons take my baby. Not again.’
That was brilliant... the first sentence reminds me of something from when I was little. Nonetheless, that part gives me chills. It's so strong and passionate, filled with love and ambition to protect, yet there's obvious terror and uncertainty.

I also love how Ryan connected the dots and knew what his mother was referring to. It re-inforces their connection.

’Last night a river nymph came to me in her celestial power and blessed me in her native tongue. Her breath was cold like a shiver and her kiss was like morning dew on a rose. I inhaled her essence and this morning I blessed Ryan with the same spell she used on me. He laughed like a siren’s song.’
That was indeed beautiful and mystical in every way possible. It creates such a light and bewitching scene in my mind... the way you wrote this, you allowed me to experience the sensation that this world produces in someone.

"My mother saw beauty in everything except the darkness. She was always afraid of the dark, of what might be hiding in it, waiting to hurt her or the people she loved."
That was the perfect line to use as the description, and to open his paper. This would have to be my second favorite line(s). It's a reminder of, even though everyone thought of his mother as crazy, she was a loving, protective, thoughtful mother who clearly adored her child to no end.

She believed dreams were the only times they could communicate with us.
I don't know what it is... but that line adds something indescribable to the story. It felt like a wave was washing over me when I read that line... I'm not sure why, but it was an incredible thing.

She made me promise to always remember her stories.
Oh my... that's even more sad. He remembers the promise and that day... but he doesn't remember the stories.

It smelled like my mother.
That induces so much wonder and hope in me for some reason. It's a beautiful ending to an astounding story.

I don't remember ever reading anything like this from you before. You made this stunning and touching... I felt like I've been inhaling small particles of light while reading every word. It made me feel warm and fuzzy, like I was floating. But the nostalgic memories where apparent in my mind, much like Ryan's.

Thank you for always sharing your talent and gorgeous bits of your mind. You're an expert creationist.

My last thought was: That was beautiful.
I love the way you told this story, the tone is pitch perfect. My favorite lines were the ones that seem simple, but absolutely add to the story in every regard. It feels like it's told from the point of view of a child/pre-teen.
I really loved this. Simple, but not simplistic, that's the description I wanted.
My favorite lines:

I didn’t understand then, but I did later.

we didn’t have a cat to make those red marks on her wrists.

We left an hour later without my mother.

Then she went to take a bath and killed herself.

That was incredibly moving.

I found the whole beginning with Ryan and his mother so sweet, that she protected him, and she would only be happy with him. It was so sad when she died, and Ryan's reactions to it were very realistic. I like how his father tried to throw his mother's things away, but he hid them in his closet.

i like how you tied the ending together with the essay, and how the teen girl was almost a symbol of one of his mother's protective nymphs.

Anyways, I loved it. To pieces.

EDIT:: also, the song you picked made me want to cry as I read. They both fit so perfectly.

I liked this.
I think its one of the closest things you've written to an original. It seems really original, anyway. Genuine. Like, your character really heard those stories, his mother really did kill herself.

I like how you wrote it. First person worked absolutely amazingly. It usually doesn't. The girl running up to him and kissing his cheek was really sweet, it made everything seem so innocent.

I loved how you wrote his mothers character. And how Ryan questions her sanity when he's reading her journals. It's like... he understands a little better.
Her "unhealthy coping mechanism" was really good, I like how what she was coping with wasn't mentioned until a little later, but I have a feeling that the miscarriage wasn't the only thing that bothered her.

I felt really guilty reading that bit... that Ryan was born after a miscarriage. I suppose I felt somewhat what he was feeling, I guess, and thats largely to do with the way you wrote him.

Well done, it was brilliant.

That was honestly stunning.
It was so whimsical - everything about it, from the title to the plot, it was so...
It reminded me of fairies.
What I really loved was how the father sort of... lurked in the background.
His presence was not really important, I suppose, but it added an edge.
‘My dad is a drunk who hates me.’ Not exactly a great paper.

No one told me she was dead. I found out the day of the funeral, when I saw her sleeping in the casket, unsmiling. My father had to carry me out, screaming and crying.
It gave me chills. Unsmiling. That was my favorite line, I think. He was so young, so naive, and he just... loved his mother.

God. That was amazing. You have such an immeasurable amount of talent.

Amazing. If there was any other word that meant better than amazing I would use it to describe this beautiful piece of art.

It reminds me of my mother, except for the fact that she didn't die. I read it over and over again and I just can't get over how beautifully it was written. The simplicity of the words you used to describe was so beautiful it was tear jerking.

Though, what I did love the most was how Ryan grew up from the little eight year old boy. How at first, he didn't really understand because you are right,

When you’re a kid, you don’t understand words like depression and unhealthy coping mechanism.

i think...that is quite probably...the most amazing thing i have ever read.
everything was just...perfect. i'm utterly left speechless.
i think i related to it more, as well, because i adore things like water nymphs and goddesses.
i lost myself in that one shot, which isn't something i usually do with one shots.
but...it just...i don't know. there doesn't seem to be any words...perfect enough to describe it.
i loved everything, but my favourite thing is the title. i don't know what it is, but it's almost...soothing? smooth? calming? i'm not sure.
i'm saying that a lot, but i'm just in awe of the beauty in that piece of writing.

i think it'll be something i shall read over various times.

Oh my gosh.

That was...beautiful. Amazing. Touching. Sweet. Sad. :cheese:

Probably the sweetest thing you ever wrote.

mistakes !:

omigosh!
that is so sad and sweet and everything all the same time!
i'm subscribing, right now.

Oneshot...

omigosh!
that is so sad and sweet and everything all the same time!
i'm subscribing, right now.

New story.
No slash.
Ryan character fiction.
AR.
About Ryan and his mother.

Happy [?] reading!

xoxox
-Dru