September 12th, 2008 at 12:51am
I've never been a huge My Chemical Romance fan (I'm hoping that's who Gerard and Frank are anyway) but this was amazing. It wasn't your typical romance, it was obsessive love. So obsessive that they both died in the end.
I was so scared when Emily was at her locker and Gerard keep appearing out of no where and just staring at her expressionless. That would scare me to death. I liked how Gerard wrote those little mysterious notes to people and didn't leave his name on them but somehow people knew they were from him anyway.
Buddy died! :o I can't believe Gerard actually went to Buddy's funeral though! I suppose it was a good cover for him and when he got that punch in the mouth from Emily and he liked it, that was weird. I could actually imagine Gerard grinning like that and wiping his mouth free of blood.
I loved the plot. Your story was so short but so good at the same time. I really liked the length of your chapters and you described everything so well. You didn't need to spend ages on describing the scene and everything.
I also like how you switched POV's all the time. It let us see into the minds of Emily and Gerard. I liked knowing how Gerard felt when Emily rejected him and also how she felt when Gerard was stalking her. It was brilliant.
I see you fixed your dialogue, I'm very impressed. Your dialogue was much better this time and it was much easier to read. Infact, your story was a pleasure to read.
Just awesome, dude. Ahh...
The only thing I found kinda weird was that Emily didn't call the police when she suspected that Gerard murdered Buddy. I mean...that's the first thing I would've done. Or I would've told someone. I also would've though that if Ms.Smith was around, Emily would just stay with her. I mean Gerard wouldn't kill her while somebody was watching, would he?
But y'know what? It's a story, and stories don't necessarily have to be logical. This was so awesome, like I mentioned before