Keraunophobia - Comments

This was heart-wrenching. I just thought you should know that it was beautifully written, and I would love to read more of your work.

I don't know how to describe this. It was amazing, imaginative, unique, one-of-a-kind. It completely blew my mind, reading all of the detail you put into this. Nothing was left up to the imagination, because you supplied everything that I, as a reader, needed to know. I'm really not into fan fiction, but yours is wonderful. Probably the best I've read on Mibba. No, not probably. Definitely.

I'm not that good with reviewing, so mine will probably look awful compared to the first two. xD
But I thought I'd comment and say that I really, really love how you wrote this. :]
The imagery is amazing. x-x
So adorable, and it's very realistic. I know some people who would probably hide under the kitchen table in a thunderstorm. xDD;;
Very well done. :]

That's so gonna win :-}
I was wondering what keraunophobia was until it said in the story XD I always heard it called Brontophobia
Anyway, yeah, it's really good :cute:
xx

Okay :shifty
Emily just totally killed my regular comments.
Her's is deadly serious and now mine's just gunna look silly :shifty

First things first;

Awww Tom :cute:
That was so adorable, bless him.
Hiding under the kitchen table crying?
Sounds like the kind of thing I did when I was younger :tehe:
Not that Tom's manilness is at stake here.
...what am I saying? What manliness? :tehe:

Nah, but I love him really.
Even if he's a big girl in a thunder storm.
I'd happily keep him company when the lightning bolts strike :cute:
Screw hiding under the table, it's much safer to hide under the duvet

Brown irises connect with blue through the near darkness and a one-way, curious smirk is exchanged

That was the sweetest thing ever.
You write so well and as Emily said; your imagery is wonderful :cute:
You little genius, you *ruffles hair*

Tom stares at Danny, who in his eyes looks bewildered and is probably wondering why his twenty-year-old best friend is hunched under the kitchen table, clutching his knees to his chest.

'Cause he's a big girl :con:
Nah, I love irrational phobias.
You wrote about this one so well :cute:

Danny strokes Tom's shivering back comfortingly as the latter inclines his head into his friend's neck, and the last of the rain seeps into the cracks between the paving stones outside.

And then they kiss and they live happily ever after :con:
...well perhaps not quite written like that.
but you catch my drift :shifty

Please write some more lovely McFly fictions for me to read :cute:
I look forward to reading some more of your lovely bits of writing.
They're all so uplifting, and they just make me smile and feel all fuzzy inside :cute:

Haha, this comment sounds like it's written by a four year old :tehe:
Oh well.
AH LUFF CHOO :weird

Oh and...

PISS! *chokes* :shifty

Oh, wow, you know I never thought I'd read a McFly fic. Which I know sounds really really music elitist, but they're just not my thing, you know?
But I'm really really glad that I did, because I would have missed out big time if I hadn't.

This story, put bluntly, was great. I loved the style, I loved how it was written in third person and present tense - something you don't see a lot - and I loved the storyline. It was just... a really good story, and it was really cute too.

A tentative hand reaches out and slips between the thick cylinders of wood, hovering above a cold, quivering arm.
As soon as I read that sentence, I knew I was gonna like this story. It was the perfect opening - left me wondering and questioning, but not confused. I wanted to know more, I wanted to know why, I wanted to know what the wood was - oddly enough, I thought he was in a barn. Don't ask why. :XD
I also really love your eloquence - you're a great writer. Just the way you word things... it's gorgeous, and your writing really captivates me, even though you are using characters that I normally wouldn't read about. You really have a way with words and I was really impressed with this story, considering it was the first thing of yours that I'd read.

Brown irises connect with blue through the near darkness
Oh I loved that... your imagery is so wonderful. The whole thing is as though there's a little movie playing in my head and it's really just gorgeous. It sounded really poetic, and because the words sounded poetic the little mind-video looked poetic, and I got this gorgeous image of these two men looking at each other, one smiling one not, and the whole picture was really cute and gorgeous.

Tom stares at Danny, who in his eyes looks bewildered and is probably wondering why his twenty-year-old best friend is hunched under the kitchen table, clutching his knees to his chest.
Aaaah, so that's what the wood is. Okay so as I said, or at least I think I said, the thing I love most about this is that you have this wonderful way with words, which really blew me away. Normally when I comment I single out particular words that I liked, but with yours I can't because every word fits in perfectly, and if you took any of them out it just wouldn't work right. Every word fits in just right, and your sentences come out flawless, smooth and wonderful - every word adds something more to the story and it all just fits together perfectly.

Tom’s arms are wrapped tightly back around his knees and his dishevelled mop of hair is buried into his trembling, curled up shape.
So that was just extremely cute! Again, your wording is impeccable, and I'm really struggling to write this comment because everything just fits together so perfectly I can't even pull it apart to review it. But I do love your imagery, the way you create pictures for the reader is just amazing, and the way you structure your words makes the story amazing.

He curses the sound of the heavy rain pelting on the glass patio doors, begging the lightning to go and bother someone else in another part of the country – anybody, anyone, except him.
I really liked how you portrayed his fear - it just seemed really realistic to me, how he was just... scared. He wasn't manly, he wasn't proud, he wasn't thinking about anything else except the storm, and how scared he was. You captured the emotion really really well, in that sentence and in the sentence where you mentioned having the thick wooden barrier between him and the storm. It just seemed really realistic, because when I'm scared all I can think about is what I'm scared about and how I can make it stop. So good job. :cute:

but then he hears the shuffling of denim and a second later, feels soft radiant warmth on his upper arm.
Radiant is such a beautiful word, don't you think? It's just got such a deep positive feel about it... and it fits perfectly in that sentence.

Danny strokes Tom's shivering back comfortingly as the latter inclines his head into his friend's neck, and the last of the rain seeps into the cracks between the paving stones outside.
And so the ending, just like the rest of the story, was gorgeously worded and had such beautiful imagery. I'm repeating myself here so I'll stop now, but I just loved this story so much.

I'm really sorry for the crappy comment, but this was just... perfect. As I've said a million times before, it was cute, it was perfectly worded, and the imagery was amazing. I'm so glad I read it because it was just awesome, and I wish I could write a better review but it's almost midnight and I don't think I could review this very well at the best of times because it's just too good.

Good job. :cute: