Another cliche love story, and other little trageties - Comments

  • SunriseBoulevard

    SunriseBoulevard (100)

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    I loved it, great job!

    I'm a little confused about it,
    but I'm sure things will fall into place!
    October 5th, 2008 at 06:41pm
  • Samantha Michelle

    Samantha Michelle (100)

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    First story ever? I can't believe that. It was nicely written. I liked how most of your grammar, punctuation and spelling was correct. You don't see that often. Now. What I don't see a lot of in this story, that is valuable to any story, is description. Yeah, I could picture every thing that happened, but parts were still fuzzy. I don't know what the main character looks like, what time of day it was, where they were, where they were going or coming back from nor their emotions. Yes, it is a lot to fit into one chapter. But as your progress as a writer then these small adjustments will just come naturally. I liked your work.

    Clap
    October 2nd, 2008 at 11:24pm