I really liked this one-shot. The thing with the dress really stood out to me. It kind of went through every stage of her life (well... not every stage but it was basically all the important stages I guess you could say.) The doctor which is usually something you'd consider to be rutine, like a check-up (but it was actually something more), then the wedding, and the funeral. It was pretty cool how you did that. And all of it was in the beginning. The dress really made it's mark on this one-shot and I think that's pretty cool.
Just a quick observation... why is this the first comment? I'd expect more for some reason. I mean there aren't very many good het stories on this site... so I'd expect all the het readers to kind of lurk around and comment every single one.[/off-topic]
Something brief: the whole thing in the third(?) line where you mentioned how the dress was to jolly for the occassion (the funeral). I liked that. I mean, normally it would just be assumed that the dress didn't fit considering it was floral and a fairly happy sort of dress. And the fact that everyone thought she was mad... that just added to it.
Even though the way she and he husband(?) [I think they got married in the beginning... because it was mentioned, but I'm assuming they got divorced?] I'm glad they stayed friends. I mean... it probably hurt to see him get over her and marry someone else (some red-headed woman) and have kids while she was still virtually alone, but I mean.. I guess it was good that they remained friends. It was something that is kind of new because usually in stories people just go their separate ways and move on. And when they do see each other they're usually bitter and angry about the whole situation.[/rant]
I'm just glad they stayed friends. That was a nice touch.
And then he dies. It's kind of sad that she stayed with him the whole time knowing that she was still in love with him. And she still wore the dress. Even to his funeral which I'm guessing is the one mentioned in the beginning. -sigh- that is truly sad. Just emtionally... imagining what something like that could do to a person. Gosh.
AND SHE GETS BETTER!!! Just thinking about that makes me kind of angry and happy and sad all at the same time. Angry because she was so negative about having no more time left and leaving her husband (I can understand why she did it, but knowing the outcome it makes me mad because she didn't you know... stick with him.) happy because well... she's better. And sad because she's kind of all alone now. Even more alone than before because her true love was gone and she has to stay in the world by herself for a while. The cancer could have been a comfort in a way. She figured she was going to die so... being alone wouldn't be all bad. She'd get to die and go off to that big place in the clouds in a short while. But now that its gone.. she has to stay... [/slight rant]
Eventually he slipped away from her; he fell into a pile of things in the back of her mind, things you had to really concentrate on to dig them back up. This part has to be one of my favorites. The description of how she forgot about everything was cool. It made me think of boxes. The ones that sit up in attics filled with old baby clothes and toys and photo albums. It makes me think about how... like when you go back and open up the boxes and instantly remember everything and its sometimes sad and other times it's happy... it's just a mixture of emotions all wrapped up into one new emotion. That's just what that line reminded me of. I thought it was pretty cool. 8)
Dressed ceremonially in her pink rosebud dress she was buried quietly beside her past, and finally put to rest with her future The dress returns. This was a great finishing line. I mean.. she forgot about him and remembered him at the same time. She had to move on just as he did but she never forgot. It makes me wonder how her husband (the 2nd one) felt about the whole situation, though. I makes me wonder if he minded that she was burried next to the other guy. Oh well... I guess that doesn't really matter. He wasn't even a major chracter anyways. :lmfao (bad joke)
Either way... I'm glad that she was burried next to him. It gave some closure to the story. A happy ending even though it ended it in death. Good Job.
Just a quick observation... why is this the first comment? I'd expect more for some reason. I mean there aren't very many good het stories on this site... so I'd expect all the het readers to kind of lurk around and comment every single one.[/off-topic]
Something brief: the whole thing in the third(?) line where you mentioned how the dress was to jolly for the occassion (the funeral). I liked that. I mean, normally it would just be assumed that the dress didn't fit considering it was floral and a fairly happy sort of dress. And the fact that everyone thought she was mad... that just added to it.
Even though the way she and he husband(?) [I think they got married in the beginning... because it was mentioned, but I'm assuming they got divorced?] I'm glad they stayed friends. I mean... it probably hurt to see him get over her and marry someone else (some red-headed woman) and have kids while she was still virtually alone, but I mean.. I guess it was good that they remained friends. It was something that is kind of new because usually in stories people just go their separate ways and move on. And when they do see each other they're usually bitter and angry about the whole situation.[/rant]
I'm just glad they stayed friends. That was a nice touch.
And then he dies. It's kind of sad that she stayed with him the whole time knowing that she was still in love with him. And she still wore the dress. Even to his funeral which I'm guessing is the one mentioned in the beginning. -sigh- that is truly sad. Just emtionally... imagining what something like that could do to a person. Gosh.
AND SHE GETS BETTER!!! Just thinking about that makes me kind of angry and happy and sad all at the same time. Angry because she was so negative about having no more time left and leaving her husband (I can understand why she did it, but knowing the outcome it makes me mad because she didn't you know... stick with him.) happy because well... she's better. And sad because she's kind of all alone now. Even more alone than before because her true love was gone and she has to stay in the world by herself for a while. The cancer could have been a comfort in a way. She figured she was going to die so... being alone wouldn't be all bad. She'd get to die and go off to that big place in the clouds in a short while. But now that its gone.. she has to stay... [/slight rant]
Eventually he slipped away from her; he fell into a pile of things in the back of her mind, things you had to really concentrate on to dig them back up. This part has to be one of my favorites. The description of how she forgot about everything was cool. It made me think of boxes. The ones that sit up in attics filled with old baby clothes and toys and photo albums. It makes me think about how... like when you go back and open up the boxes and instantly remember everything and its sometimes sad and other times it's happy... it's just a mixture of emotions all wrapped up into one new emotion. That's just what that line reminded me of. I thought it was pretty cool. 8)
Dressed ceremonially in her pink rosebud dress she was buried quietly beside her past, and finally put to rest with her future The dress returns. This was a great finishing line. I mean.. she forgot about him and remembered him at the same time. She had to move on just as he did but she never forgot. It makes me wonder how her husband (the 2nd one) felt about the whole situation, though. I makes me wonder if he minded that she was burried next to the other guy. Oh well... I guess that doesn't really matter. He wasn't even a major chracter anyways. :lmfao (bad joke)
Either way... I'm glad that she was burried next to him. It gave some closure to the story. A happy ending even though it ended it in death. Good Job.