Nightmares, Dreams and Pumpkin Patches - Comments

Spelling errors
Punctuation errors

Entertaining but it doesn’t really seem that well written in language and grammar, the plot is good, I like the way it’s supposed to be scary but it still has fun bits weaved into it, I thought it was a good as a simple read but not the best thing I’ve ever seen. Also it’s quite unrealistic, just letting a stranger into your own home in unrealistic. And again with the grammar I found it hard to read it smoothly with all those mistakes, just work on spelling and plot ideas and I think you could be quite a goo writer, all the ideas are there it’s just not organised enough and you should always want your work to be seen as the best it can be.

Quite frankly, the spelling and grammar mistakes took away considerably from the finished piece. I found myself ticking them off on my fingers as I read through it, and getting frustrated because there were more mistakes than I had fingers (and toes) for. Even in the summary, simple spelling issues like "meet" instead of "meat" could have been avoided. Just ask a friend to beta for you in the future; it helps greatly.

As for the plot, I was a little disappointed. I wanted Alexander to be an evil vampire, just like in her dreams. I don't think it's very realistic (disregarding the entire "vampire" part of it) for Alisa to just meet a boy, invite him inside her home, and take him to a party later on. She also wouldn't accept a ride from him, especially considering the fact that she believes him to be a crazed killer. Any smart girl wouldn't also fall in love with said crazed vampire-boy just hours after meeting him, either.

The ending left me dissatisfied with a bad taste in my mouth. You made it this big point that Alexander likes/loves her, and that Alisa loves him back, and then suddenly he just disappears? Even in a short story, that kind of ending isn't a fun one. I would've liked to see Alisa and Alexander at least have a little more time to flesh out their feelings and satisfy the reader.

Thank you for entering the contest. With a little bit of editing and rewriting, this could be a very, very well-polished piece. Keep at it.

xx
Mae.

I really liked this.
I love the whole thing with the nightmares
and how when Alexander laughed it was the laugh from the nightmare.
It kept me uncertain on whether or not he was a vampire.
I was plesantly surprised that he wasnt evil; I personally thought he was going to kill her.
The only thing is I found a bunch of spelling mistakes, it got in the way of the story at some points.
Good job.

wow, I liked it. Really enjoyed the whole plot, and the fact that their's the on-and-off guess of wheather Alexandra is a vampire or not

Thanks for entering!
This is a great interpretation of the whole prompt!
But this was prewritten right?
So I guess it's not one the immediate things you'd think about when you saw that sentence.
Um, you really need to watch your spelling! I found these;

razor-sharp not raiser sharp
put on not pout on
pair not pare
hair not hare
four not fore
those not thows
creature not creacher
back room not baht room
beatle not betal

and mixed up words;
were not where
too not to
stalked not staked
literally not linearly
whether not weather

Plus, some of your dialogue; 'ya' and 'cuz' just doesn't seem right.
People just don't tend to talk that way.

Grammatically, remember to put a comma before your concluding speech mark if you go on to state a 'he said' e.g.;
"Blah," he said.
instead of;
"Blah." he said.

Put a really nice plot, and I enjoyed reading it!