Under Ground - Comments

I'm still really enjoying this a lot. I like how elaborate and detailed everything is; your writing really takes the reader into your world. However, I feel like the twins act a little too mature for 7 year-olds, especially in their diction. You might want to put in a few more instances where they really act like little kids and/or make their vocabulary more basic. Please keep going, I want to find out moorrre. :)

yeah, i like it. :] few things, though:
1) Prologue is spelled wrong. ;]
2) since you are basing this heavily off of Alice in Wonderland, you may want to say so, give credit to the author, etc. silly legal stuff, yeah. still a good idea.
3)...what do you mean mibba's got no double space?...does hitting Enter twice not work?

and yes, i am subscribing. ;]
dance, darling. it's a happy day. :D