Breathe Again - Comments

Yes you are Gee. Very talented. :) It was very sad. And well written xxxx

Yay angst story!!

First, I gotta say, I love the layout. It just sets the scene perfectly :cute:

Bruce couldn't breathe That was just a :cheese: Wow opening line. It really emphasised his shock or fear or whatever he was feeling. It emphasised that some emotion was overpowering him and was an awesome opening to a story :cute:

three of them were in that dark alley, Bruce being the only one who had any sense of life still in him. The rainy alley – a somewhat cliché but perfect scene for the story. And you described it awesomely And after reading this, it shows there are two dead people in the alleyway. By the sounds of it, he cared/cares for both of them a lot :cheese: Making it even more sad Damn you.

The next lines are heartbreaking. Poor Bruce You meanie. They’re amazingly written though. You got skillz 8)

“Mom,” his voice trembled under the tears that were finally spilling from his eyes, “come on mom, you got to wake up. Wake up!” This line just :cheese: Reminded me a little of The Lion King. That film made me cry too :lmfao

The white contrasted the black and dark shadows of the alley, some of them had spots of blood on them, others were rolled in the mud and almost invisible to see. Amazing use of detail there.

I won’t paste all of it, but I want you to know I love this story :cheese: And it’s amazingly sad and rich with emotions. Once again, you’re a verr talented author :arms: