That was good. :) Love the layout :D
June 4th, 2010 at 10:32pm
I am so, so sorry it took this long to dish prizes out. I'm doing them in order so I've done Aubrey Dessgray's, but then I just couldn't find time to review your oneshot due to exam revision, even though I really wanted to. I hope you don't mind. :]
I really enjoyed reading this. The first line drew me in: It was magnificent, the speed, the adrenaline, the sheer relaxation. My soft, golden hair flowed behind me like the small waves of a low tide crashing gently in the light breeze. Such a gentle way to describe running and Rosalie's speed. The imagery is great and you really painted a picture in my mind. :cute:
Though Rosalie is not my favourite character from Twilight, I think you really captured her arrogance well: I never imagined that something so beautiful and exhilarating could be produced from the burning agony I had felt for three whole days. You have good characterisation and stayed true to the personality Meyer gave her, which suited this story seen as it is taken from a canon event. :]
All I could feel was fire, burning me from the inside out. My breath scratching against my throat as the fire swam through my body. This was very powerful, and I loved the way you described the change. It shows you really have an understanding of the Twilight fandom, and again, beautiful imagery.
I liked how you didn't tell us immediately that she saw a boy being attacked by a bear. I could smell him miles off but what I saw was not what I had expected - you just dropped the word 'him' in and the reader is suddenly right in the action, wanting to know what's going on. I also liked the way she contradicts herself: I had been furious at Carlisle’s choice to change me but this was something I had to do. You captured the emotional battle of a vampire between him/herself over whether to let someone die or become immortally damned very well, again showing understanding of the book.
“Thank you,” He started as he got up to walk towards me. “For saving my life.” He took my left hand and kissed it gently.
that part was so sweet! I also liked how the ending was in present tense, showing how an ordinary event for Emmett can highlight their love.All in all, it was brilliant and deserved second place. Well done, and I hope you participate in my next book-themed contest as I'd like to read more by you. :]
