The Taste of Your Sin - Comments

Great story, babe. Too gay for me, but the other parts were cool. I like the relationship that Chase and Mama Chase have, and how Brad is too soft for me. It is funny because Tampa is not even that big...

Anyway, hurry up AND POST!

whoa love holy what does chase say????????

identity erased.:

I was afraid you'd rush the plot, but I actually like the timing.

In some stories the plot line is ruined by such a fast pace, but in this story it really works.
It was very interesting finding out more about his mother.
Great update.
=)

Before I forget, I loved how you portrayed the coach - very realistic!!! ::thumbsup:

I was afraid you'd rush the plot, but I actually like the timing. However, I do not like the feeling that the next chapter's gonna be heartbreaking or something like that. I hope it won't and not just for Chase and rad's sake, but also for the story's sake. It'd kinda be cliche.
But yeah, all in all I don't think it'll end with a happily ever after. More like the song I still remember by Bloc Party. I love that song. It's the perfect soundtrack for your story :}
I see a lot of similarities between Kele and Brad. Kele's black and gay, so he's hated a lot. Brad's a jock and gay - he would too be hated a lot if someone were to find out about him and Chase.
And do I sense some sort of jealousy in Taylor's words? Hmm. I'm most likely wrong, but yeah...
I'm always on the edge of my seat waiting for the prejudical society to interfere.

I love your writing mostly because of the issues you're trying to underline, warn people about.

I feel all squiggly, Tas. :arms:

It was like... bitter, sweet, bad aftertaste, then squiggly.

I'll explain. Like, the part with Brad's mom just kind of explained part of why he's so fucked up.

The door swung open to reveal a skinny, blonde woman. "Hello, mother," I hissed coldly.

That part just totally reminded me of Jenni's character in Have Kids, Then We'll Talk, Aiden Way. He and his mom are so estranged, and here she finally snapped and kicked him out.

That was the bitter part. For the sweet, well... duh. Everything from listening to the song in Chase's room until he dressed and Chase didn't turn. The porno part. Hehe.

I pressed my lips to his forehead which was covered with messy hair. [I could imagine this part, btw. The realness of it]

And when Chase was talking about his coming out to his parents.

I breathed heavily on his neck which I knew sent him up the walls. "Maybe I just want a taste," I whispered and kissed his neck. [sent ME up the walls]

The bad aftertaste was what Brad did at the end. I can imagine poor little Chase being squished in such a position, and the lack of description and the utter crudeness of the scene just emphasized how brute-ish Brad was acting.

The squiggly came from
"After all," I began, "why would I ever hurt the one I love?"

I hope he's not lying.
One of my fave updates, dunno why. :tehe:

ILY TAS.

Amazing update.
Such an unexpected twist at the end...I'm looking forward to see what's going on with Taylor.
This has such a good story plot, I'm really enjoying reading it.
=)

holy shit....please continue?
Its a amazing write, the story lines grand.
I need to read more.

wow, that last bit, i didnt know what was gonna happen, i think youre really developing the characters too... [= awesome.

awww bless Taylor. He has emotions.
great update

At the moment, the look on my face would be the
one of utter confusion, but the good kind, of course. XD
This is going to be short - adding to the stuff I usually say when
I get to read an update of this - all the awesome, amazing and stunning,
I'm adding smart. XD

I loved how you portrayed the typical high school football coach
with his way of speech and his stance. Just loved it!

And the part that utterly confused me was Taylor's behavior.
Like, if you do something to hurt Brad, in ANY sort of way,
I'm de-croatazing you, gottit? :XD

You made Taylor human. He's more than the cheating shallow best friend. All that struggle, both on the outside and inside, made him human. And that's what I found more remarkable about this chapter.

Brad too. His character is really developing. This is your forte, Tas.

Brad is so awkward. He should have just hit him. Teammates fight all the time. Brad as awkward emotions. He should love Chase...

alternachick08:

for a momwent i thought they would kiss

:tehe:

Tricked ya!

I did that on purpose. xD

for a momwent i thought they would kiss

this is really really good . . . keep updating!!!!

hey.
I really like this story.
you descibe the conflict going on in his mind so well, I love it.
And i loved it when Chase said "I love you"
=]

Hey Tasnakes.

I'm not a big reader of online stories, but every now and then a story comes which makes me fall in love.

Here is this story.
The sex scenes are your forte, as you say, and I can really see that.

I love the way you change the way dialogue is written to show how the character actually talks.

I love this story.

OMGZCKG LYK TTTLY. ITZSZ GR8T

this is so good, i love this story =] i like the way he talks about lust with a hint of innocence... its a good image. XD

Yeah. I am trying to be comical in that chapter. I like to contrast the darkness of the story with light humor.

And Chase is Alex Heartbreaker. xD

And you hit everything on the head. Thanks much. (:

Ohwow, I've been so busy, I haven't had the chance to read this in ages.
But it's all good, because I just got to read, like, three whole chapters in a row.
Which rocked.

M'kay, so first off, I like how the cracks and strains are starting to show in their relationship. It's secret, it's forbidden, so it's obviously not going to be perfect.

I love how Chase calls him Bradshaw, I think someone else said that up there. It just kind of highlights the fact that only Chase know him truly, that he sees him in a different light. Or something.

"I'm not a football, you know."

Hah, I loved that. It was a perfect illustration of Brad's old personality - rough, macho, the stereotypical jock - and of how with the help of Chase he's becoming gentler, softer, more sensitive.

Was the confrontation of Taylor and Sadie meant to be comical? Because I found it hilarious. Brad was so sarcastic and cutting about the whole thing, wouldn't act serious and kept taking the piss, Sadie was all tears and overdramatics, and Taylor was trying to defend their "relationship". I find them such a silly couple - I love it. =D

It's great how you've managed to maintain the masculine tone throughout all the chapters. Brad's realized he's gay, he's [kind of] with Chase, yet you haven't turned him into an airy-fairy and lost the blunt boy-voice in your writing. Which is great.

Is it wrong that I've completely and utterly fallen in love with Chase? He. Is. Adorable. I felt like crying when he said I love you, because I'm afraid that Brad's going to freak out or something, as per was said above. ^ DDD:

And by the way, I love this new layout. The new Bradshaw is smokin'. :XD And Chase is one of those MySpace celebs, right? I think I recognize him from somewhere.