Life As It Is

"You're what?" Holly shrieked.

"I'm pregnant," Ella repeated quietly. "The stick is pink."

"Holy shit," She said back quietly, leaning back on the wall and sat.

"I know." Ella did the same.

"This can't be fucking happening."

"I know, I know. Just please tell me you'll be there for me Hol'." Ella looked at her best friend with her chocolate brown eyes looking afraid and hurt.

Holly reached out her hand. "Of course I will."

* * *
The two women walked down the streets of New York to Ella's place that afternoon.

"So are you going to tell Billie?" Holly asked, walking beside her.

"No."

"What do you mean no? He's the father isn't he?"

"Of course he's the father, Holly. I don't sleep around. But I can't tell him."

"Why not?" Holly demanded. This was so unlike Ella. She was always straight forward with things.

Ella sighed. "He has enough shit to deal with. I think its best not to tell him. And besides I might get a—"

"No," Holly said angrily. "Do not fucking say it. I know you don't believe in those."

"Abortion." She finished off.

They walked into the building and waited for the elevator.

"El, you can't do it. Please. It's gonna scar you for life."

"I think I have to. I have a lot going on in my life and that's no place for a baby to come in."

The elevator made a happy "Ding!" and they both walked inside and pushed the button for the floor.

"And like I said," Ella said. "I always imagined I'd have a kid with someone I was really seriously involved with or if I was actually married."

"El—"

The elevator eventually got to the floor. The two New York women walked out and headed towards Ella's loft.

"Hol'. Just let me think this over first. I need some time."

Holly nodded, hoping Ella knew what she was doing.

* * *
It seemed like a long night. Ella suddenly awoke on the couch the next morning. How had she ended up there? She looked up and saw Holly in the kitchen, rummaging in the refrigerator.

"You stayed here all night?" She called out to her.

Holly had her back to her and shrugged. "Yeah... I changed my clothes though. I'm wearing yours." She turned around and smirked at her. She returned the smirk.

The thirty-three year old woman walked towards Ella with orange juice and coffee and handed her the orange juice.

"Thanks," She said softly as she took the orange juice from Holly who was now sitting down next to her.

"So have you made a decision about you-know-what?" Holly curiously asked her.

"Yeah," She said putting down the orange juice on the coffee table. "I think I'm going to go get an abortion."

Holly gave up fighting with her about it and nodded.

"Ok El," She said. "But I'm coming with you for moral support."

Ella gave her best friend of fourteen years a smile. "I was hoping you'd say that."

* * *
A few days later, Ella scheduled an appointment for an abortion at the most local clinic. She and Holly drove over there, both being in a complete daze.

Ella was fumbling with her seat belt; afraid about doing what she decided to do when she had so long ago been against it. While Holly sighed and drove the way to the clinic, not really wanting someone she cared so much about get scarred for the rest of her life.

The two walked into the clinic, trying to get out of their thoughts. Ella slowly walked ahead and looked at the people in there. There were mothers with their teenage daughters. Even a few women too.

All of them sharing something—unwanted pregnancy. But were they all making the right choices?

The thirty-three year old pregnant woman signed her name and took a seat next to Holly.

"Thanks for coming," She said. "Really."

"No problem." Holly nodded. This was the first time in their friendship when they were both feeling awkward with one another.

Holly suddenly looked upset.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Ella said, looking over at the upset woman.

"I shouldn't have dragged you along."

"What do you mean?"

Holly looked up at her.

"The concert. If I hadn't been so wrapped up in my horny thoughts of Mike, I—"

"Holly," Ella interrupted her. "This is not your fault. You were so right about me going in the first place. It's me and Billie's fault for both getting piss-ass drunk and then do what we did." She reached her hand out to her friend. "You have nothing to do with this and don't beat yourself over it."

"Yeah, okay."

"I believe everything happens for a reason. There's a reason why we became friends and I don't know—maybe there's a reason why this happened."

The two sat in silence while they awaited Ella to be called.

* * *
Billie Joe and Ella both lay on the bed together, snuggling up to each other like two idiots in love.

"Hey," Ella said, breaking their normal silence. "Do you ever dream about the future?"

Billie Joe gave her his trademark grin. "Did you smoke a little pot?"

Ella giggled and playfully hit his arm.

"Nooo... I'm really asking you. Where the fuck are we gonna end up in a couple of years?"

He shrugged.

"I don't know. I know you're going to be the best fucking photojournalist America has ever witnessed."

"Why not the world?"

"Because—I don't know."

She laughed at her boyfriend.

"Go on."

"Okay, maybe the band won't be the best job for me and I'll actually listen to my mom and get a job." He put his arm around her, pulling him closer to her.

"Then what?"

"Maybe I'll be one of those stupid ass soccer coaches and we'll have some kids."

"Whoa," Ella said, impressed. "You really think we'll get married and stuff."

He shrugged.

"Sure, unless we find more Alicia's in our relationship."

Ella grinned at him. "That's why I love you." She kissed him on the lips.

"Oh thank god, I thought you were gonna say 'Billie Joe Armstrong, I wanna have all your babies'."

They both laughed and kissed again

"Ella Montgomery." The woman called out. Ella slowly got out of her flashback and ended up back in reality. Where she was pregnant with a baby that's father had been her first real love.

She looked over at Holly and slowly got up. She was actually going to do this. She was going to erase this incident that happened a few weeks ago.

Something she had once wished had happened the wrong way. Was it right to do this? All of these questions were circling her mind as she walked towards the nurse, afraid.

What other choice could she do? She had overcome so much more in her life. Suddenly, she just couldn't ask questions to herself.

She approached the nurse and sighed.

"I'm sorry," She said. "I changed my mind at the last minute. I'm keeping the baby."

Holly was stunned with what she just heard and followed Ella out of the clinic.