Life As It Is

"You're really not going to do it?" Holly asked her as they stepped back onto the New York sidewalk.

Ella nodded bravely.

"Come on, I don't believe in them. I can't believe I was even considering it."

Holly looked over and smiled at her. "That's the Ella I know. But what are you gonna do about Billie?"

Ella shrugged and sighed. She knew this would have to come up sooner or later, so she might as well talk about it now.

"I really don't know yet, Holly. I don't know if I should tell him or not. This is all really complicated." She shook her head, unsure of what to do.

"Well whatever it is, I'll stand by you."

* * *

The month of November quickly arrived with out any sort of notice. Winter was coming soon and New Yorkers walked on the streets with warm jackets, hoping for no sudden snow anytime soon.

Ella was officially two months pregnant. To others in the workplace, they couldn't notice any sort of difference in her. Except for the fact she had been throwing up a lot and looked like she was glowing a little.

But that was almost it.

Holly sat down on Ella's couch with her cell phone practically glued to her ear talking to Mike.

"Sooo... how's tour?" She asked him cheerily.

"Good. But Billie's been really distant lately and he acts like nothings wrong." Mike said in a bit of a whisper so no one around him could hear what he was telling his girlfriend.

"Oh... really... " She replied back, staring down at the coffee table.

"Do you know anything?"

Holly heard Ella throwing up in the bathroom.

"Hello, Holly?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry umm well I kind of do," She said, fiddling around with a strand of her hair.

"What is it? You can tell me anything, Hol'."

"Well umm if I tell you this, you have to promise me you won't tell Billie Joe I said anything, okay?"

"Okay."

Holly heard Ella flushing the toilet and tried to start and finish her story as fast as she could before her best friend got out of the bathroom.

"Here's the thing—the night that you guys were playing at Irving Plaza—" Holly stopped talking as soon as she saw Ella walk into the room.

"Shit," She whispered to her boyfriend. "I'll call you later."

"Okay babe," Mike said. "Bye." Then he hung up.

She hung up the phone and saw Ella look at her in a confused way.

"What?" She asked innocently.

"Who were you on the phone with?"

"Mike." Ella knew Holly was up to something. But she didn't bother with it.

"Okay," She said. "I'm going to the doctor's for an ultrasound so be sure just to tell 'Becca that, okay?"

Holly nodded at her and they took off.

Once they had gotten to the doctor's office, Ella let her best friend leave. She waited in the waiting room and looked around the room. There were many pregnant women around, most of them with friends or boyfriends/husbands. She didn't have Billie Joe for her here. And it made her heart ache a little.

Her name was called and she stepped inside one of the offices, did what she was told and soon found herself laying down as her doctor put gel on her stomach for her to see the sonogram.

"See," Her doctor said, pointing to something that looked somewhat of a nut or something.

"That's the baby right now."

She looked closely.

"Holy shit," She muttered. "There's something actually growing in there."

Ella's doctor turned to her and smiled. "Yes there is."

* * *

Mike shut off his phone and sat on one of the chairs in the private jet. He had just gotten off the phone with Holly and knew everything that was going on in New York, where Green Day would soon be in a matter of hours.

He looked up and saw Tre sleeping in front of him like a baby. He rolled his eyes and looked over at Billie Joe, who was reading Spin magazine but didn't seem to look interested in it.

"Bill," He said, catching his attention which suddenly seemed nowhere near reading the magazine.

"Yeah?" The thirty-two year old rock star asked just a few minutes later.

"What's with you lately man?" Mike moved in closer to his best friend and talk to him.

"What are you talking about?"

"You've been really distant lately."

Billie Joe fiddled around with the magazine.

"It's nothing, don't worry. I mean with the tour and all that I get too caught up in my own thoughts."

"I know Billie but, you're not acting like you. What's up?"

He sighed. He knew it'd be a matter of time before he would have to admit to Mike about what had happened. It had been haunting him for a while now even though his mind was usually off it during a show or an interview.

"Well, do you remember when American Idiot came out in America and we played Irving Plaza?"

Mike now knew there was some sort of significance about that night for both Holly and Billie Joe to mention it.

He nodded, waiting for his best friend to continue.

"Well after the show, when you and Holly hooked up and all, I went to go hang out with Ella. We got shitfaced basically and ended up having sex." Billie Joe fumbled around again.

His best friend was in awe.

"Billie—whoa," He said, not able to know how to take this information.

Billie Joe sighed.

"No fucking wonder you've been so distant." Tre suddenly said, scaring the living shit out of his two band mates.
* * *
Billie Joe felt pathetic. He had just had sex with the woman he once had loved so much. Yet he was in love with another woman too. What had he done? Everything suddenly felt so damn complicated.

Still sitting on the bed, contemplating what he should have done, his cell phone ringer went off.

He looked at the screen and it read 'Adrienne'. His hands shaking a little, he picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Billie," Adrienne said softly.

"Adie, hey," He said, looking around the room.

"Listen, I think it's stupid we've been fighting over stupid shit lately. But like you said, this tour is going to be fucking insane for you and I can't keep forcing you to call the kids and shit like that because I know you really want to but can't. So, can we make up?"

Billie Joe was feeling so guilty at the moment. It wouldn't be long till another fight.

"Yeah. Of course." He sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just a little tired from last night's show."

"Oh yeah!" She said excitedly. "How'd it go?"

"Pretty good."

The conversation carried on but all Billie Joe could really think about was Ella.

* * *

Ella sat at her office computer and worked on her recent assignment for the magazine's newest issue. She looked over to see Holly rushing to type up her recent interview with an underground band, as if she was trying to get to something else.

"What's with the rush?" She asked, getting her best friend's attention.

Holly turned around and grinned. "I want to get ready for the Green Day show in Rochester."

"You're gonna go?"

"Of course," She said with a grin.

"You really like Mike don't you?"

Holly nodded.

* * *

The thirty-three year old journalist watched as her boyfriend's face expression changed from curious to amaze.

"Ella's—pregnant?"

"Yep," Holly said as they both sat in Starbucks that afternoon.

"And she hasn't told Billie yet?"

"She doesn't think its right springing it on him with the happy family and shit that he has."

"El always did put the people she cared about before herself."

"Yeah, I know."

"Well, she's gonna have to tell him." Mike put his lips to his coffee cup and took a sip.

"Billie's been beating himself up about it since they did it."

They talked for a little more until Mike of course had to go get ready for the Rochester show. Before he left, he gave his new girlfriend a kiss on the lips which made her all giggly all over again.

* * *

Billie Joe walked through the streets of Manhattan not going anywhere in particular. He was hoping he wouldn't run into Ella and sort of made sure he didn't.

But his lucky streak came to a near end when he walked into a local grocery store, looking for something to snack on until he had to catch up with Mike again to go to their concert.

He waited as a brunette around his height was paying for a big load of candy. Obviously she loved her junk food.

"Thanks," She said as she grabbed the bag. The voice was familiar, and indeed it was Ella.

He wasn't so lucky after all.

She turned around and faced him. She stood frozen and locked eyes with him.

"B-Billie," She said. "Hey."

"Hey," He said as he paid for his Snickers bar.

After that, the two headed outside.

"How've you been?" He casually started a conversation, unknown of what else to say.

What was I supposed to say? He asked himself. How's your sex life been?

"Umm... I've been alright," She answered him, squirming a little.

There was definitely something different about Ella. She looked really different for some reason. What had happened?

Ella on the other hand, was nervous as hell. This had to be one of the most awkward conversations she had ever had with Billie Joe since before they even went out.

He should know, he should know. Forget about how he has a family and there's no room for you. A baby deserves to know their father.

"Listen, Billie. I need to tell you something."

"What?"

"Oh, I think you need to go sit down for this."

Billie Joe was confused. What could have possibly happened? He just wanted to know already and get the worried look off of Ella's face.

They found the nearest bench and both sat down.

"Okay, El. You're scaring me a little. What do you need to tell me?" His green eyes were both curious and worried.

She took a deep breath.

Here goes nothing.

There's always some sort of inciting moment that happens in your life that changes it forever. From a first kiss to giving birth to your first child. Those events change the outcome of the rest of your life. This was one of them.

"I'm pregnant."

The words hit Billie Joe hard. Ella was pregnant. With his child. Of course it was his, why would she have the need to tell him and have such a worried look on his face?

"Y-You're pregnant," He said out loud.

He felt like everything was spinning around. He never saw this coming.

"Yeah." She nodded.

"Why didn't you call me or anything?"

The tears were stinging in her eyes now but she held them back. She had to stop crying. She was better then that.

"Well at first, I was thinking of getting an abortion because well, I was fucking scared shitless and god... I'm so fucking messed up."

He pulled her into a hug, still feeling weird as well and kissed her hair.

"I promise you El," He whispered. "I'm not gonna let you feel messed up."

She moved from where her head had been resting on his chest and looked at him with her upset chocolate brown eyes.

"Look," He said, scratching his head. "I'll pay child support and stuff like that. I'll be there for the baby. But right now I have to go play a show and try to make more sense of this."

Ella nodded.

Billie Joe looked at his watch.

"Shit. I have to go, listen I'll call you later, okay?"
"Yeah, umm I have to get going too anyway."

He nodded.

"See ya then," He said as they both parted their separate ways.

* * *

"I told Billie." Ella said, suddenly springing the subject to Holly as they browsed maternity clothes at a local maternity store the next day.

"You, what?"

"I told him."

She then went on to explain the events prior to the previous day.

"I think that's the best way a man has ever taken information like that."

"Yeah. I know."

"What did you expect what happen, he'd put his fist through the wall?"

"Honestly, I have no idea." She desperately wanted to change the subject even if she was most comfortable sharing this information with her best friend.

"So how did last night go?"

"Absolutely great," Holly said excitedly. "Mike and I of course—you know. But lemme tell you something, he who has a big sock has a—"

"NOO TOO MUCH INFORMATION!" Ella yelled, turning several heads in the store and causing her and Holly to get into a fit of giggles.

Later that night, Ella and Holly sat at the couch doing their regular routine when nights were slow and there were no interesting places to go. They watched TV.

"Crap, crap, crap." They both said, looking for something to watch.

Ella turned over to look at her best friend.

"You really like Mike, don't you?"

Holly nodded. "I think I—might even love him."

Her best friend smiled.

"That's awesome, Hol'."

She focused her concentration back on what was on TV. Holly was thinking she might have been in love with Mike.

While she was thinking she might still be in love with Billie Joe.