Lean Like a Patrick

"Pete will you shutup already? I said that I wasn't going to do it, so stop trying to convince me - it's not working."

A very frustrated looking Pete Wentz was pacing about his newly bought Los Angeles house (which, to normal people, was a mansion), glaring at his best friend which he was just a second away from stabbing with a plastic spork (he had removed all the forks in his house after a certain Way brother's inability to function with a toaster).

"But why not?" he whined, as he started to puff out his lower lip. "You'll get to meet hot dudes and you'll only be talking to them for like, five minutes each so if you say something stupid, like I know you will, you'll leave and never see him or them again, so it's not that big a deal, Patty-cakes."

"One, don't call me 'Patty-cakes'. Two, no. I told you I'm not doing it and I'm not going anywhere and there's absolutely nothing that you can say that can make me change my mind so - "

Patrick was immediately interrupted as Pete tackled the blonde onto the green shag rug and quickly whispered something into his ear as Patrick squired uncomfortably underneath him. His thick rimmed glasses were askew on his face, balancing on his forehead and into his trucker hat that covered his hair. As soon as he stared squirming, he quickly stopped. He tilted his head back (Well, as far as he could make it go while he was laying on the floor) and squinted angry blue eyes at Pete. Pete grinned in triumph.

"I hate you, you know that? I really do," said Patrick between clenched teeth.

"I can't believe that you're actually going to that thing," Zacky distractedly told Matt while he was playing Halo, "I mean, I know you're all chill with your new found gayness and - and don't get me wrong, I'm totally happy that you're happy with your sexuality and all but isn't it just, I don't know; just a little too much. Too forward?"

"Well, would you like to recommend a place for me to meet nice guys that aren't going to try and rape me?" questioned Matt, while he was trying to help Zacky kill some alien thing in the game.

The thought of anyone attempting to rape a guy as big and muscle-toned as Matt made Zacky's body seizure up with a fit of never-ending laughter. Matt, on the other hand, didn't appreciate this at all and shut off the game system by pulling out the plug but Zacky seemed to pay no mind to the blank television screen and unsaved gaming record.

"Stupid fucker," Matt grumbled under his breath, as he his keys and walked out of hisformer best friend's house.

Two beautiful and unlikely mean were sitting at one of the Speed Dating areas. One was a strawberry blonde with pretty blue eyes and a hat. he other was fully inked with muscles to spare, dark hair covered by a hat, a lip ring, and deep brown eyes.

"Um, I've never really done this before," mumbled the blonde as he unconsciously started wringing his hands together underneath the table. The inked man thought he was cute - adorable even, despite his nervousness. He laughed kindly and the other smiled a bit.

"Well, then, I'm Matt," smiled Matt.

"Hi, I'm Patrick," smiled Patrick.

Pete was standing outside of the Speed Dating shop wearing a bright green wig and fake, nerd glasses. He was staring at the two with a huge grin placed on his face, teeth shining brightly against his tan skin. He got up from behind the bushes and started to walk back to his House, happily, with the thought that his favorite porno and a bottle of cold apple cider were chilling in his freezer waiting for him.

Oh, was he going to have fun tonight.