Memory

Now you know what a day typically is for me. That would be boring and useless. Every day is useless to me. No one will tell me what happened, and it’s really starting to frustrate me. As I’ve said, I don’t normally sit down like I have been. And when things frustrate me, I act frustrated. Maureen got back to the cell after I finished dinner and Alice was gone.

“Hey Mo, how was normal prison?”

“Well, if you absolutely must know, tiring. The wardens are horrible besides McCullers, but that’s no surprise to you.”

“None at all.”

“There is a woman, Loretta, who just came out today.”

“Really?”

“They’re calling her a sexual predator now.”

“She can’t afford a lawyer, can she?”

“No. Nothing. How was special prison?”

“Exhausting. Another bitchy journalist today. I hate them. I hate those word-grubbing nubs.”

“Nubs?”

“Nubs.” Then, McCullers announced bedtime. It was a welcome prospect for both me and Maureen.

I awakened in the middle of the night. A dream had startled me, but I wasn’t breathing heavy or sweating, so it wasn’t a traditional nightmare. I must admit it was equally as haunting. I was at my high school graduation again, and it was exactly as I’d remembered it. My best friends congratulated me and said goodbye. They hoped to see me a lot over the summer, maybe we could all go to Crater Lake and catch some sun before we all split up for college. And then, a part I didn’t remember. A boy came over. HE came over.

“Hey Madison, felicitations.” It was him!

“Who are you?” I stammered.

“See you Saturday at Tom’s?”

“Oh yeah, I’ll be there.” I said. Who was Tom? Why did I say yes? Who was this guy?

Then, I was at what I supposed was Tom’s. I was laughing with him about something a guy named Creeley had done. I could not begin to tell you who that is. Then, we stopped laughing, and we looked at each other, and we... we... started KISSING. Why? I have no clue. Then, there was a guy behind me.

“Madder, what are you doing with this guy? Come on, Maddie! Let’s go.”

“Tom, stop. We were just having fun.” I heard myself say. This was Tom? Well then.

“Yeah man, just back off. You can still have her. It’s cool.”

“So cool.” I said, then, I was somewhere else.

It was Oakley Valley, and there was a fire going. I recognized the memory immediately, but it was so much clearer this time. “Madison, I love you.” he said.

“Mm, no. We’re just friends, remember?” And I kissed him. He smiled.

“Well, go to sleep and we’ll go up the mountain to Crater Lake tomorrow.” I started going to my tent and he chased me in. There was kissing, and then I was at Crater Lake the next morning. He had a boom box playing “London Bridge.” He was dancing suggestively, and he fell into the lake. I laughed, and he climbed out. He chased me onto a ledge. I told you I didn’t have good luck. The ledge broke like something out of cartoons, and I remember hitting my head on a rock and falling down the mountain. I woke up like I am now. Disconcerted and haunted.