Last Regret

When the doorbell rings the next morning I expect it to be Brendon but it’s not. It’s Lindsay and one of her friends.

“Hey Alexis! I’m sorry about what I said on the phone the other day. It was a complete misunderstanding because you were joking right?” Lindsay asks and I quickly nod in agreement. It would be better if she thought that.

“Right so we decided to come over and spend the day with you! Won’t that be fun?”

“Actually, I’ve got some schoolwork to um finish,” I explain.

“Amber is gonna meet us at the nail salon,” she continues.

I frown, “whose Amber?”

“Cole’s girlfriend,” she says, before pushing past me.

Her friend smiles brightly at me, “I’m Bridgette.” I ignore the brunette and follow Lindsay inside.

Lindsay stops at the picture of Cole and I on our anniversary and snorts before tossing it in the garbage.

“You can’t-” I begin.

“This place is a mess,” Bridgette says, looking around in disgust.

Lindsay nods, “Bridgette and I are going to clean up around here. Go wait in the kitchen.”

They head into my room and right before they shut the door, I hear Bridgette say, “We have a lot of work to do,” Bridgette mutters.

By the end of the day, I‘m left with absolutely no mementos of Cole’s and a much smaller closet. Lindsay and Bridgette leave early without even mentioning the nail salon. I’m pretty sure that means I’m uninvited. I don’t mind though, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to formally meeting Amber. It’s only about 5 pm and as I head back into my room, I start to wonder why Brendon hasn’t come by yet. But Brendon never comes, no matter how much I miss him.

Holy shit. I was pathetic. I had been begging Brendon to go away and when he finally did I could barely stand it. But this was expected. I had come to learn that the good always preceded the bad and Brendon was no different. Just because I knew it was going to happen, that didn’t mean it was any less painful.

Even though, I had tried my best not to, it was obvious that I had already become attached to Brendon. All of my protests and grievances did nothing to prevent the feelings I now had for him. But he had finally left me –just like I’d asked- and I was hurting again. I barely knew the guy! What was wrong with me?

I settle down to do my homework, with thoughts of Brendon buzzing around my head, when my stomach starts to grumble. It’s only then do I realize that I haven’t eaten anything since Brendon bought us popcorn at the movies. I head into the kitchen, pull open the fridge and find nothing edible. It was mostly filled with half-empty juice cartons, moldy bread and oddly colored meat. I guess I was going to have to order in.

I call the pizza place a couple blocks away and search for the money to pay him. I find exactly two dollars and thirty-five cents. Shit. The doorbell rings and the pizza guy is standing on the other side of the door.

“I don’t um…I can’t pay,” I tell him quietly but he doesn’t hear me.

“Ten dollars plus tip,” he says in a monotone.

“I can’t-” I try again.

“I don’t have all day.”

“I don’t have the money,” I blurt out, as tears begin to form in my eyes.

“You made me come here and you can’t fucking pay?!” he exclaims.

“I’m really-”

“Here’s ten dollars, now get lost,” Ryan interrupts. He’s appeared out of fucking thin air, holding a ten dollar bill and looking annoyed. The pizza guy gives us both dirty looks before shoving the pizza in my hands and stalking off. I begin to thank Ryan but he cuts me off with a look of indignation.

“Everyone’s waiting downstairs,” he says, already heading for the stairs.

“Who’s everyone?” I ask.

“The band, some friends of ours…” he trails off, before narrowing his eyes.

“You have to go.”

“I can’t, I have so much-”

“Don’t tell me, tell Brendon,” he interrupts, heading down the stairs.