Last Regret

When we get outside, Brendon hands me his umbrella and heads, completely exposed, into the storm. The sky gets bleaker still as Brendon splashes through murky puddles to reach the car. I follow him, although a bit more cautiously, and slide into the passenger seat. Brendon is completely soaked but doesn’t even seem to notice as he starts the car. When we get to my apartment, I watch Brendon carefully, but he makes no move to get out of the car.

“You should…you should come dry off,” I suggest timidly, whilst unbuckling my seatbelt.

“You’ve got work to finish remember?” he questions, with an almost bitter edge to his voice.

“It’ll only take a minute,” I insist. I was doing it again, letting my feelings take over but I couldn’t care less. I hated knowing that I had been the one who had wiped the permanent smile off of Brendon’s face.

“Just go,” he hisses and I stare at Brendon in absolute amazement. This was a new side to him.

“I’m sorry,” I say, staring at my shoes.

“No, don’t be, I just…I’m an idiot,” he says, burying his face in his palm.

“No you’re not, I haven’t been very clear about…um this,” I mutter, trailing off uncomfortably.

“So clarify,” he says, looking up at me with innocent curiosity on his face.

“Well, I…I do like you Brendon,” I admit bashfully, which causes him to smile.

“But, I’m scared. Cole…Cole really fucked with me and I can’t let that happen again. I’m not going to let some guy come in and pretend to like to me, so he can rip my heart out. I am not going to walk into a room again and have my whole fucking world come crashing down. I won’t,” I finish, as my tears start to fall. I hardly notice, when Brendon wraps one arm around me and wipes my tears away with the other hand.

“I would never-” he begins, but I cut him off.

“You don’t know that! Cole promised! And he still hurt me! He promised Brendon!” I exclaim. I’m pretty sure that I sound crazy and make no sense but Brendon still holds me.

“I’m not like him. Give me a chance to prove it to you,” he says and I release myself from Brendon’s grip.

“I don’t know,” I mumble uncomfortably. I needed to get my shit together for when classes started, but I wanted to spend the remaining day or so with Brendon. I wanted to be with him but school was important.

“Alexis you can’t….I need a definite answer,” he finishes. I stare at Brendon for what seems like forever before I realize that things didn’t have to be this difficult.

I could still finish my work but at the same time, I could be with Brendon. And maybe I didn’t trust him now but I wanted to. What if I took a chance on Brendon? The Beatles seemed to think it was a good idea. I glance at Brendon and smile before kissing him. Okay so maybe The Beatles didn’t know anything about rock stars courting crazy girls but they sure knew how to write a convincing song.