Last Regret

A couple of hours later there’s a knock on my door but I can’t be bothered to open it. I had work to do for fucks sake; I didn’t have time to go out with Brendon again. I mean we weren’t even a real couple! Tomorrow would be Monday or the first day back at school and I had to do better. I had to focus.

“I know you’re in there!” the knocker shouts.

“Come back later!” I shout back, but the knocking only becomes louder I sigh and open the door but it’s not Brendon. It’s Ryan.

“What are you doing here?” I ask and he pushes past me, to sit on my couch.

“Come on, sit,” he orders, pulling out a pack of cigarettes.

“You’re not going to smoke those are you?” I ask cautiously, sitting down next to him.

“No,” he says, while pulling a lighter out of his pocket. Ryan lights a fucking cigarette, takes a drag and blows the fucking smoke in my face.

“What the fuck do you want?” I hiss.

“Why do you let me walk all over you?” he asks and I frown. “Look I have work to do so can you just-”

“Brendon told me I should come and apologize,” he explains and I snort.

“As genuine as I’m sure your apology will be, I think I’ll pass.” Ryan crosses his arms, releases another puff of smoke and says no.

“What?” I ask, in surprise because he couldn’t say no. This was my house!

“I talked to Lily,” he says ignoring my confusion. “She told me she was in love with you,” I say, watching Ryan’s face carefully. He doesn’t give away any emotions, just raises an eyebrow, “did she now?”

“Well, don’t you love her too?” I try again and this time Ryan laughs. It’s the strangest thing, because he still manages to make it seem like torture.

“Fuck no, she’s just my girlfriend. You know something to come back to, after tour,” he explains and I frown. God only knows what I would do to have a boyfriend, much less a disposable one. “Ryan that’s…that’s fucked up,” I mutter and he laughs again.

He stubs out his cigarette and shrugs, before leaning back. “So Alexis, you didn’t answer my question,” he says. I fidget uncomfortably and eventually mutter, “what question?”

“Why do you let me walk all over you?” he repeats.

“I don’t,” I say quietly, without meeting his eyes.

“Should I light another cigarette and prove my point?” he hisses and I shake my head. Why was Ryan so intent on figuring me out? His excuse of ‘because nobody else will’ doesn’t seem plausible at all. So why? And what did I have to do to get him to stop?

“Why do you care? And don’t give me that bullshit from before,” I add and Ryan smiles slightly.

“Who says it’s bullshit?” he asks and I roll my eyes.

“Alright fine, Brendon wants me to be nicer to you,” he admits and I nod. “Of course.”

He stands up and does some sort of odd bow, “that’s about as nice as it gets, so I guess I’ll take off.”

Ryan is a little strange, kind of rude and extremely candid, but if Brendon somehow saw good in him, then I guess I could too.

“Hey Ryan,” I begin and his hand stops on the doorknob. “What do you like to do when you’re not being a jerk?” Ryan turns around and a sort of devilish grin forms on his face. What am I getting myself into?