You're in My Heart, the Only Light That Shines There in the Dark
Please dont try so hard to say goodbye .
The glasses clinked
and the lights made the room that much hotter.
The two held hands
pretending like the picture perfect realtionship is what they had.
*******
The music was drowned out in her mind
all that ran through it was the words
her and Mikey exchanged back at home ,
she watched him smile and wondered if it was bothering him as much
as it was bothering her
he agreed so intently with his brother Gerard about how excited they were for the bands next tour
she felt the agrivation build up as she watched him pretend everything was okay ...
how could he act like they are fine ...
"Mikey ! I'm not feeling well" ... jess said practically screaming it over the music .
"Why? Whats wrong ?" Mikey asked with a concerned tone in his voice .
"Nothing can we just go home? ... I need to lie down ."
"ok , just give me a sec "
Mikey turned to Gerard and the rest of the band and excused himself and Jess from the party ...
The car ride home was long and quite. Jess leaned her head against the glass , the silence was so uncomfortable .
"Sometimes." Mikey spoke breaking the silence .
"hmm , What ?" Jess asked feeling confused .
"You asked me earlier if i was happy , and my answer is ... sometimes."
Silence fell again
and Jess wanted nothing more than for him to hold her like he use to .
"So where do we go from here ?" Jess asked as the car came to a stop .
Mikey ran his fingers through his hair trying to aviod looking at Jess .
He couldnt understand why this was even happening .
Three months ago they were madly in love spending every waking moment together
and now there here in a car building up walls and tension between eachother.
" You know Jess ... like always ... I dont know what to tell you ." The frustration in Mikeys voice was easy to acknowledge.
"See this is your problem, its like you dont even want to deal with us. Look at us! were nothing anymore."
Jess said angrily as she pushed the car door open and walked away only to feel sand at her feet.
she paused feeling disoriented and looked up . Tears filled her eyes as the waves crashed and the moon gleamed
the same way it did that night . His arms wrapped around her and his breath on her neck made her feel so alive.
" These are the times when I'm happy. " Mikey spoke through kisses on her neck .
Jess shut her eyes and let the tears flow .
"And these are the times when i find it so hard to let you go ." Jess whispered as she embraced him .
"Please dont say goodbye."Mikey mentioned as he held Jess close.
Jess shut her eyes tighter and felt unsure what to say next , so she let her emotions speak and kissed him .
Mikey pulled her closer pushing them together practically begging for her touch.
******
Being with you is...
not so simple
but passion takes over
and love doesnt seem so out of reach
You'll always be my best comfort
even if you have to go
*****
Mikey leaned against his car in the bitter cold waiting for Jess.
"Hurry it up babe , I have to get going !" Mikey called out checking his watch .
Jess listened to him from inside as she wiped her tears and made sure she didnt look like she was crying.
She hated goodbyes, this was the worst part about loving a musician, they always had to leave for too long .
"I'm coming!" Jess shouted , her voice shaking with emotion.
Jess ran outside and let Mikey embrace her.
"I'll be back Jess." Mikey said trying to comfort her .
"I know ." Jess's voice was muffled .
"Please dont cry Jess , I cant stand to see you like this . " mikey managed to say through the sad feeling in his throat.
"Okay ." Jess said pushing away from him .
He stared at her and kissed her rosy cheeks . Her beauty was something else , her jet black hair and porcelian skin
was breathtaking . He kissed her lips once again and pulled away examining them , he loved the way they got really red everytime
he kissed her.
"You gotta go ." Jess whispered as she looked down at her shoes in the snow.
"Yeh... I'll call you when I get there , okay ? Mikey waited for her answer ...
"Okay ." Jess sounded numb .
It hurt him but he knew he needed to go ...
He kissed her hand and got into his car, mouthing "I love you" to Jess as he pulled out of the drive way .
she watched him drive away, holding her breath hoping to stop her tears . Only he could make her hate him one minute
then love the hell out of him the next. Maybe thats what made their love so real,
It wasnt perfect and that was okay because she loved him .
"Please dont say goodbye." Jess whispered to the air after him.
Mikeys car dissapeard in the distance , the wind began to pick up as Jess let her breath go and the tears took over her eyes.
*******
and the lights made the room that much hotter.
The two held hands
pretending like the picture perfect realtionship is what they had.
*******
The music was drowned out in her mind
all that ran through it was the words
her and Mikey exchanged back at home ,
she watched him smile and wondered if it was bothering him as much
as it was bothering her
he agreed so intently with his brother Gerard about how excited they were for the bands next tour
she felt the agrivation build up as she watched him pretend everything was okay ...
how could he act like they are fine ...
"Mikey ! I'm not feeling well" ... jess said practically screaming it over the music .
"Why? Whats wrong ?" Mikey asked with a concerned tone in his voice .
"Nothing can we just go home? ... I need to lie down ."
"ok , just give me a sec "
Mikey turned to Gerard and the rest of the band and excused himself and Jess from the party ...
The car ride home was long and quite. Jess leaned her head against the glass , the silence was so uncomfortable .
"Sometimes." Mikey spoke breaking the silence .
"hmm , What ?" Jess asked feeling confused .
"You asked me earlier if i was happy , and my answer is ... sometimes."
Silence fell again
and Jess wanted nothing more than for him to hold her like he use to .
"So where do we go from here ?" Jess asked as the car came to a stop .
Mikey ran his fingers through his hair trying to aviod looking at Jess .
He couldnt understand why this was even happening .
Three months ago they were madly in love spending every waking moment together
and now there here in a car building up walls and tension between eachother.
" You know Jess ... like always ... I dont know what to tell you ." The frustration in Mikeys voice was easy to acknowledge.
"See this is your problem, its like you dont even want to deal with us. Look at us! were nothing anymore."
Jess said angrily as she pushed the car door open and walked away only to feel sand at her feet.
she paused feeling disoriented and looked up . Tears filled her eyes as the waves crashed and the moon gleamed
the same way it did that night . His arms wrapped around her and his breath on her neck made her feel so alive.
" These are the times when I'm happy. " Mikey spoke through kisses on her neck .
Jess shut her eyes and let the tears flow .
"And these are the times when i find it so hard to let you go ." Jess whispered as she embraced him .
"Please dont say goodbye."Mikey mentioned as he held Jess close.
Jess shut her eyes tighter and felt unsure what to say next , so she let her emotions speak and kissed him .
Mikey pulled her closer pushing them together practically begging for her touch.
******
Being with you is...
not so simple
but passion takes over
and love doesnt seem so out of reach
You'll always be my best comfort
even if you have to go
*****
Mikey leaned against his car in the bitter cold waiting for Jess.
"Hurry it up babe , I have to get going !" Mikey called out checking his watch .
Jess listened to him from inside as she wiped her tears and made sure she didnt look like she was crying.
She hated goodbyes, this was the worst part about loving a musician, they always had to leave for too long .
"I'm coming!" Jess shouted , her voice shaking with emotion.
Jess ran outside and let Mikey embrace her.
"I'll be back Jess." Mikey said trying to comfort her .
"I know ." Jess's voice was muffled .
"Please dont cry Jess , I cant stand to see you like this . " mikey managed to say through the sad feeling in his throat.
"Okay ." Jess said pushing away from him .
He stared at her and kissed her rosy cheeks . Her beauty was something else , her jet black hair and porcelian skin
was breathtaking . He kissed her lips once again and pulled away examining them , he loved the way they got really red everytime
he kissed her.
"You gotta go ." Jess whispered as she looked down at her shoes in the snow.
"Yeh... I'll call you when I get there , okay ? Mikey waited for her answer ...
"Okay ." Jess sounded numb .
It hurt him but he knew he needed to go ...
He kissed her hand and got into his car, mouthing "I love you" to Jess as he pulled out of the drive way .
she watched him drive away, holding her breath hoping to stop her tears . Only he could make her hate him one minute
then love the hell out of him the next. Maybe thats what made their love so real,
It wasnt perfect and that was okay because she loved him .
"Please dont say goodbye." Jess whispered to the air after him.
Mikeys car dissapeard in the distance , the wind began to pick up as Jess let her breath go and the tears took over her eyes.
*******