You're in My Heart, the Only Light That Shines There in the Dark
And when the stars fall ,I will... lie awake
******
Silence can be deffening
and shes lonely
and disconeccted
while hes worried
and impatient...
********
4:36 am ... the clock couldnt go any slower. " Jess thought to herself ...
All night was like she had been hoping for sleep but it never comes.
"ugh ! what is it gonna take for me to get some sleep ?" Jess grunted as she tossed
and turned .
she lay there watching the wind move the trees and the moon
bring in such a bright light . she wished she could turn it off ...
"fucking moon , dont you have anything better to do then bother me ?
i mean how hard is it to just stop this stupid sh-"
Jess's thoughts were interupted by her cell phone ringing .
"where the hell is it" jess said frantically as she searched the bed like
a maniac.
"H- Hello" ...
"Hey love"... Mikey said on the other end of the phone
"hh hi " Jess said , trying to take in as much air as she could .
"why do you sound so out of breath? im not even there with you, "
Mikey gave out a playful laugh .
"oh ha. ha. ha. ... ACTUALLY what really happened is
i couldnt find my phone and you my lover decide to call me
at the most odd times ......
The awkward silence set in as Mikey looked out his window at
the passing road .
"I couldnt get to sleep "... He said attempting to get a conversation
started.
"yeh me neither ...have you ever noticed how unnessisarily bright
the moon is ?"
" haha umm Jess i think you need some sleep "
"maybe so but it doesnt look like im going to get any "
" me neither ... both ways " mikey laughed
" your sick " Jess simply replied .
"yes i know ... but you love me that way "
"yeh I guess i sort of have to hahahaha "... Jess stopped noticing
Mikey wasnt laughing along ." hmmm . I was only kidding "
"I miss you Jess".... Mikeys voice sounded weak on the other end .
Jess got silent and thought of her reply to his comment .
"yeh what-" mikey said to somebody in the back... " hey jess love let me call
you back theres some trouble with the bus i need to go help out
right quick "... Mikey intterupted before Jess could say anything back
to him about missing him.
"ok Mikey ... love you "
" I love you too , Jess "... mikey said then the line went dead...
The wind howled like crazy...
It looked like it was going to be a storm ,
Jess layed back and closed
her eyes letting her memories take over .
The first time they met seemed so long ago , she remebered how he was
the rockstar and she was the fan standing in the crowd , just blending in.
Blending in like how she always use to before they fell in love .
No one ever bothered to notice her , its like she was never trully alive till
Mikey came along.
What if ?... what if Mikey had never bent down to get his ring that fell
on the ground stopping Jess dead in her tracks... then
he would have never seen her , and she would still be living back at home
she would have been just another girl ...
"ugh "... jess bothered as she put her hands to her face
and finnally went downstairs to get some tylenol to get to sleep.
****
its like time passes with or without you
I cant control how i feel
I still care ...
even though i know
i use to love you
****
The morning was still ... Jess sat silently next to the road
as she waited to see his car . It had been 6 months since she
had seen him last . Its like everytime he came back they had
to get to know eachother all over again . Just the thought of this made
Jess feel jaded ... maybe she was too tired of it all to do it
again ... she caught sight of his car and got to her feet standing where
she did when he drove away .
the car made its way and before Jess knew it Mikey was getting out of
his car running toward her .
" God ive missed you ! " mikey said as he twirled Jess around kissing her .
" How was the tour ?" Jess asked not really too interested in the answer
because as always he would say ...
" Just fine ! " mikey said interupting Jess's thought
"Exactly ... like always " Jess said under her breathe
" Hmmm what did you say babe ?" Mikey asked walking toward the appartment .
"Nothing... i was just thinking maybe we should go out to dinner tonight"
Jess said trying to make everything seem as usual.
"Thats a great idea !" mikey agreed as he closed the door .
"Yeh ... just like something to welcome you back " Jess said sounding
pre-occupied.
"Well Jess ive been away from you for six months and they seemed too
long this time so the only thing really on my mind is ".. Mikey said as he
took jess in his arms and began to kiss her .
What was wrong with me ... Jess thought ... She couldnt understand
why it didnt feel the same . He kissed her like always but it just wasnt
the same . She couldnt do it , it wasnt fair to her or Mikey .
"Mikey !"... Jess said stopping him
" Yeh ?" ..Mikey asked feeling confused
" I just - I cant - I dont know "...Jess choked back tears as she saw
Mikey's eyes go from confused to scared .
It didnt take much more than that for mikey to get what she was trying to
say. He made his way to the window and stared at the road,
the only thing that would never change . They lost it , everything
and there was nothing he could say to change it . Why hold on ?
when theres nothing left to hold on for .
"we were in this together once , Mikey ... but you cant deny it any longer
were not who we use to be . " Jess said as she stood next to mikey .
"I never thought I'd see the day " mikey commented as he started to
get his stuff .
" where are you going ? you dont have to leave , I'll leave " Jess said
looking worried and confused .
" I'm going back to my home town , im damned if i stay here .
Walls full of mememories are only good for tears " Mikey said as he stopped
and looked at Jess .
"Okay well ... I'm leaving too "... Jess said in a numb tone .
They both would leave there and never come back , never look back .
Its like finishing a chapter in your life .
Jess made her way out and put her stuff in her car . She closed the trunk
and inhaled
breathing it all in one last time . She didnt want to say goodbye
it hurts to say goodbye . She would have
rather just left . Mikey came out standng at the doorway
as if waiting for an answer.
"Remember when I told you please dont say goodbye ? ... Mikey called out as Jess
turned to look at him " I meant it ... I'll always love you Jess "
He walked toward her and opened his arms to her ...
"I'll always love you too Mikey ... If I had my way
I would have never wanted to fall out of love with you " Jess hugged
mikey and pulled away ... " but -"
He looked past her into the distance and she could see the sadness in his eyes .
" Its ok I understand " Mikey let her go and stood against his car.
Without another word Jess got into her car and started to back out
of the drive way . She watched him stare at her the whole time
his eyes dull and red ,tears ran down his cheeks as he mouthed to Jess
"I'll miss you "... her heart felt hollow and she couldnt stop her tears .
She fixed her rear view mirror as she drove away and saw him standing
there, the man that once held all her hopes and dreams .
This time it was her leaving and it hurt equally as much
driving away from him as him driving away from her .
"Goodbye Mikey. "... Jess whispered as she turned the corner and lost sight
of him .
"Goodbye Jess. "... Mikey whispered as he walked toward his car .
He stood there staring at the place they use to call home .
Took in the last of her he'll ever see the last of them he'll ever feel .
"Im going to be ok he thought , as he got in his car and drove away
the opposite way she had .
*******
Silence can be deffening
and shes lonely
and disconeccted
while hes worried
and impatient...
********
4:36 am ... the clock couldnt go any slower. " Jess thought to herself ...
All night was like she had been hoping for sleep but it never comes.
"ugh ! what is it gonna take for me to get some sleep ?" Jess grunted as she tossed
and turned .
she lay there watching the wind move the trees and the moon
bring in such a bright light . she wished she could turn it off ...
"fucking moon , dont you have anything better to do then bother me ?
i mean how hard is it to just stop this stupid sh-"
Jess's thoughts were interupted by her cell phone ringing .
"where the hell is it" jess said frantically as she searched the bed like
a maniac.
"H- Hello" ...
"Hey love"... Mikey said on the other end of the phone
"hh hi " Jess said , trying to take in as much air as she could .
"why do you sound so out of breath? im not even there with you, "
Mikey gave out a playful laugh .
"oh ha. ha. ha. ... ACTUALLY what really happened is
i couldnt find my phone and you my lover decide to call me
at the most odd times ......
The awkward silence set in as Mikey looked out his window at
the passing road .
"I couldnt get to sleep "... He said attempting to get a conversation
started.
"yeh me neither ...have you ever noticed how unnessisarily bright
the moon is ?"
" haha umm Jess i think you need some sleep "
"maybe so but it doesnt look like im going to get any "
" me neither ... both ways " mikey laughed
" your sick " Jess simply replied .
"yes i know ... but you love me that way "
"yeh I guess i sort of have to hahahaha "... Jess stopped noticing
Mikey wasnt laughing along ." hmmm . I was only kidding "
"I miss you Jess".... Mikeys voice sounded weak on the other end .
Jess got silent and thought of her reply to his comment .
"yeh what-" mikey said to somebody in the back... " hey jess love let me call
you back theres some trouble with the bus i need to go help out
right quick "... Mikey intterupted before Jess could say anything back
to him about missing him.
"ok Mikey ... love you "
" I love you too , Jess "... mikey said then the line went dead...
The wind howled like crazy...
It looked like it was going to be a storm ,
Jess layed back and closed
her eyes letting her memories take over .
The first time they met seemed so long ago , she remebered how he was
the rockstar and she was the fan standing in the crowd , just blending in.
Blending in like how she always use to before they fell in love .
No one ever bothered to notice her , its like she was never trully alive till
Mikey came along.
What if ?... what if Mikey had never bent down to get his ring that fell
on the ground stopping Jess dead in her tracks... then
he would have never seen her , and she would still be living back at home
she would have been just another girl ...
"ugh "... jess bothered as she put her hands to her face
and finnally went downstairs to get some tylenol to get to sleep.
****
its like time passes with or without you
I cant control how i feel
I still care ...
even though i know
i use to love you
****
The morning was still ... Jess sat silently next to the road
as she waited to see his car . It had been 6 months since she
had seen him last . Its like everytime he came back they had
to get to know eachother all over again . Just the thought of this made
Jess feel jaded ... maybe she was too tired of it all to do it
again ... she caught sight of his car and got to her feet standing where
she did when he drove away .
the car made its way and before Jess knew it Mikey was getting out of
his car running toward her .
" God ive missed you ! " mikey said as he twirled Jess around kissing her .
" How was the tour ?" Jess asked not really too interested in the answer
because as always he would say ...
" Just fine ! " mikey said interupting Jess's thought
"Exactly ... like always " Jess said under her breathe
" Hmmm what did you say babe ?" Mikey asked walking toward the appartment .
"Nothing... i was just thinking maybe we should go out to dinner tonight"
Jess said trying to make everything seem as usual.
"Thats a great idea !" mikey agreed as he closed the door .
"Yeh ... just like something to welcome you back " Jess said sounding
pre-occupied.
"Well Jess ive been away from you for six months and they seemed too
long this time so the only thing really on my mind is ".. Mikey said as he
took jess in his arms and began to kiss her .
What was wrong with me ... Jess thought ... She couldnt understand
why it didnt feel the same . He kissed her like always but it just wasnt
the same . She couldnt do it , it wasnt fair to her or Mikey .
"Mikey !"... Jess said stopping him
" Yeh ?" ..Mikey asked feeling confused
" I just - I cant - I dont know "...Jess choked back tears as she saw
Mikey's eyes go from confused to scared .
It didnt take much more than that for mikey to get what she was trying to
say. He made his way to the window and stared at the road,
the only thing that would never change . They lost it , everything
and there was nothing he could say to change it . Why hold on ?
when theres nothing left to hold on for .
"we were in this together once , Mikey ... but you cant deny it any longer
were not who we use to be . " Jess said as she stood next to mikey .
"I never thought I'd see the day " mikey commented as he started to
get his stuff .
" where are you going ? you dont have to leave , I'll leave " Jess said
looking worried and confused .
" I'm going back to my home town , im damned if i stay here .
Walls full of mememories are only good for tears " Mikey said as he stopped
and looked at Jess .
"Okay well ... I'm leaving too "... Jess said in a numb tone .
They both would leave there and never come back , never look back .
Its like finishing a chapter in your life .
Jess made her way out and put her stuff in her car . She closed the trunk
and inhaled
breathing it all in one last time . She didnt want to say goodbye
it hurts to say goodbye . She would have
rather just left . Mikey came out standng at the doorway
as if waiting for an answer.
"Remember when I told you please dont say goodbye ? ... Mikey called out as Jess
turned to look at him " I meant it ... I'll always love you Jess "
He walked toward her and opened his arms to her ...
"I'll always love you too Mikey ... If I had my way
I would have never wanted to fall out of love with you " Jess hugged
mikey and pulled away ... " but -"
He looked past her into the distance and she could see the sadness in his eyes .
" Its ok I understand " Mikey let her go and stood against his car.
Without another word Jess got into her car and started to back out
of the drive way . She watched him stare at her the whole time
his eyes dull and red ,tears ran down his cheeks as he mouthed to Jess
"I'll miss you "... her heart felt hollow and she couldnt stop her tears .
She fixed her rear view mirror as she drove away and saw him standing
there, the man that once held all her hopes and dreams .
This time it was her leaving and it hurt equally as much
driving away from him as him driving away from her .
"Goodbye Mikey. "... Jess whispered as she turned the corner and lost sight
of him .
"Goodbye Jess. "... Mikey whispered as he walked toward his car .
He stood there staring at the place they use to call home .
Took in the last of her he'll ever see the last of them he'll ever feel .
"Im going to be ok he thought , as he got in his car and drove away
the opposite way she had .
*******