The Immortal

“The prodigal son returns!” Frank exclaimed happily after I had started to open my eyes groggily. Ugh, they gave me morphine. I must have broken a lot of bones this time. I couldn’t be sure exactly; I couldn’t really feel much of anything.

“Where am I?” I asked dazedly as my eyes adjusted to the bright light in the room I was in.

“You’re my roomie again!” He replied joyfully and I could tell he had an enormous ear-to-ear grin on his face without even looking at him.

The room started to come back slowly into focus and sure enough, I was back in my bed. My legs were covered with a blanket but I had a sinking feeling that they both were broken in some way. My shirt was gone again, replaced with bandages that wrapped down the length of my torso. Great. That meant I had broken more ribs. Surprisingly enough though, my arms looked fine. I couldn’t move them very well but that was probably just due to the amount of morphine they had me doped up on.

“Back so soon?”

I looked up to see Rachel leaning casually in the doorway of the room with a larger, updated version of my file. A sideways smile was spreading across her face as I looked her over.

“That’s not funny.” I said as she walked further into the room to stand at the end of my bed.

“Was I laughing?” She asked, but I could tell it took everything in her not to burst out laughing at my situation. Frank however, felt no need to contain his laughter. I turned my head to glare daggers at him, not meaning my anger towards him of course. I would have done the same had he been so close to getting out of this hospital.

“I’m-” He panted, wiping a stray tear away from his eye. “-sorry! But come on you gotta admit this is funny!”

“Frank this is hardly a laughing matter.” Rachel said, trying to act serious but an uncontrollable smile was forming making her whole face light up, as cliché as it sounds. “He was seriously hurt.”

Frank snorted at her comment and I rolled my eyes at him before looking back at Rachel.

“Go ahead.” I sighed, leaning my head back into my pillows to look up at the ceiling.

“Go ahead what?” She asked, her voice strained. I could tell she was still fighting herself not to laugh.

“Go on and laugh, get it out of your system.” I said as I stared absentmindedly at the ceiling tiles. “Then tell me how much longer I’m gonna be in here for.”

There was a silence in the room, which was odd considering Frank was present. But after not even a minute and a half, Rachel let out the laughter that had been threatening to explode the whole five minutes she had been in the room. I think I would have enjoyed the sound of her laughter a hell of a lot more had it not been me she was laughing at. But the sound, contagious at it was, caused a small smile to spread across my own face.

“You were this close!” Frank gasped, joining in with Rachel to laugh at me again. I turned my head to see him holding up his hand to show a small space in-between his thumb and index finger. “This close to getting out of here!”

“Well I’m glad you’re taking so much amusement out of my pain Frank.” I drawled sarcastically, rolling my eyes at him.

“What pain?” Rachel laughed, wiping a tear away from her eye. “You’re doped up on so much morphine right now I’m surprised you can even see straight.”

“Well yeah but it hurt like hell when this happened.” I said, gesturing down at myself for effect. “How bad of shape am I in anyway?”

Rachel laughed again quietly as she opened up my file to extract a piece of paper. “Ready for this?” She asked, raising an eyebrow in question at me.

“Hit me.” I sighed as I turned my head to look back up at the ceiling.

She chuckled again quietly before taking a deep breath and starting. “By falling down the staircase you have broken your right femur,” She said, gesturing to the top bone on her leg to show me where exactly that was. Not that I really needed her to, I had all but memorized the bones of the body; having broken each one of them on a number of occasions. “-your left tibia is broken as well, but the fibula on that leg is only fractured. Only three of your ribs are broken this time, however five are fractured. Miraculously none of your arm bones are broken but your right shoulder was dislocated until I put it back.”

“Is that all?” I asked, turning my head downward to look at her.

“You also suffered another concussion.” She replied.

“Man and I thought I had bad luck.” Frank laughed.

“Bad luck?” Rachel asked, looking over to him with a confused expression on her face. “He’s got to be one of the luckiest guys on the planet!”

“Lucky?” I asked, finally feeling the need to join their conversation. Hey, it was me they were discussing while I was still in the room. I think I’m entitled to enter this conversation. “I was hit by a truck, broke a bunch of bones, finally healed, was on my way out of here and I fall down the stairs to break more bones!”

“But you didn’t die.” Rachel pointed out.

“Unfortunately.” I grumbled.

Also unfortunately, my comment was not unheard by Rachel. Well, Frank might have heard it too and just thought I was being melodramatic, but the amused expression changed on Rachel’s face. She looked now as if she was working out something in her head; something that couldn’t possibly be. Well, to any normal person couldn’t. Ha, little did she know.

“Frank shouldn’t you be getting down to the rehabilitation center?” She asked, but didn’t take her suspicious eyes off of mine.

“Aw Doc.” Frank whined. Quite childishly actually. Like a kid who’s mother was on him to brush his teeth or make his bed. At least, I’m assuming that’s the correct analogy. I never had a mother, so wouldn’t know for sure.

“Hey if you don’t want to be able to walk again that’s your choice.” She said.

He grumbled something along the lines of ‘yes mother’ before sliding out of his bed into his wheelchair.

“Go straight there.” Rachel said as he wheeled himself to the door. “I’ll know if you ditch.”

“Damn.” I heard him mutter in defeat before he left the room.

“You’ve got him trained well.” I laughed, trying to ease the tension in the room but failing miserably. Well, not entirely. She at least gave me a half smile before walking to sit on the edge of Frank’s recently vacated bed.

“I have to talk to you about something.” She said quietly, setting the file in her hand aside to look at me seriously.

Uh-oh.

“R-really?” I stammered, and mentally slapped myself for it. “Um-” I paused to clear my throat loudly. “What about?”

“Gerard are you suicidal?” She asked.

I let out an uncontrollable laugh at this question. Really, I couldn’t help it. But it was a relief that she thought that I was only suicidal and that she wasn’t suspicious of anything else.

“This isn’t funny Gerard!” She snapped angrily. “I’m being serious! Tell me the truth right now.”

“No.” I laughed.

She might not have gotten why her question was so funny to me but I still couldn’t help but laugh. I had given up on suicide attempts a long time ago. Not that she needed to know this; it would probably wouldn’t help my case if I told her that. And she’d probably have me committed if I told her that too.

My laughter didn’t make the hard expression on her face falter though which is why I stopped.

“I’m sorry.” I said, finally regaining a control over my composure. “But really, no I’m not.”

“Then why do you keep trying to kill yourself?” She asked exasperatedly.

“I don’t keep trying to kill myself.” I said. As if I could if trying would make a difference.

“You stepped in front of a truck-”

“To stop it from hitting a kid.” I interrupted.

“You threw yourself down a staircase-” She went on again before I cut her off again.

“Hey I tripped over my shoelace.” I said defensively.

“Gerard it’s okay.” She said sympathetically. “If you really are and want to talk, I’m here. I can get you help. I know how it is not to have anyone, not even family to count on but I-”

“But I’m not suicidal!” I protested. “Really I’m not!”

The last thing I needed was her thinking I was some nut job set on killing himself. And I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not have to be thrown into a padded room with a straight jacket on. Granted it would be peaceful now that I think about it. But it could pose a problem if they kept me in there for a long period for of time. God knows they’d love to have me in there claiming I was immortal. Then I’d really look like a nutter.

“Gerard?...Gerard?”

“Huh? What?” I asked stupidly as Rachel’s voice brought me out of my thoughts.

“Were you even listening to me?” She demanded.

I couldn’t even lie to her about this one.

“I’m sorry.” I sighed. “What were you saying?”

“Gerard what were you going to tell me two days ago?” She asked me, sounding clearly irritated that she had to repeat the question I had missed.

Oh crap.

I had been really counting on her not remembering our almost conversation two days ago. Apparently she hadn’t forgotten like I thought she would. Why is it that she can remember things that happened days ago while other people can hardly recall what they ate for breakfast that morning?

“Hello? Gerard?” She asked, waving her hand to get my apparent short attention back. “Do I have to repeat myself for a third time?”

“No I heard you the second.” I said. “I was just…um oh, I was just trying to remember what I was going to tell you.”

Nice save.

“Two days ago we were talking about you and how incredibly fast your bones heal.” She said, deciding to answer her own question. “And you said that you were different than most people. What did you mean by that?”

Not good, not good, not good!

“I…I...” I stammered, furiously thinking of some, any sort of excuse that would pacify her. For now at least. Quick, say something idiot!

“I don’t know.” I said finally.

Lie.

“I don’t know why my bones heal as fast as they do.”

Lie.

“I don’t know why I have the worst luck in the world, or the best I don’t care how you view it.”

LIE.

“Gerard I think you do.” She said quietly. “That’s why you won’t look me in the eye and say those things.”

“What do you think?!” I exclaimed, my frustration finally reaching its limit. “I really don’t know why I’m here!”

“You’re in a hospital because you broke-”

“I know why I’m in a hospital but that’s not what I meant.” I interrupted angrily. “I don’t know why I’m still here after all of these years. I don’t know why I was even put here! I don’t know why I’m a hundred and thirty-one years old but still look like I’m twenty-five. I don’t know why I can’t die! Alright?! Is that what you wanted to hear? I’m immortal. It’s the reason my bones heal as fast as they do. It’s the reason I can get hit by a semi truck, or fall down a staircase and not die. And it’s the reason I’m so goddamned messed up!”

I took a deep breath, completely astonished at myself. I had just told my one and only secret to a human woman that was entirely capable of having me tossed into a mental clinic in the next five minutes. I was absolutely, one hundred percent, without a doubt, screwed. I might have well just checked myself into the nut house with my little outburst.

A few minutes of awkward silence went by before Rachel finally took a deep breath and spoke.

“Okay.”

I couldn’t believe her reaction. Okay? She was okay with what I had just told her. Or was she starting to say ‘Okay I’m off to check you into the psych ward now?’

“Okay?” I asked, voicing my thoughts for once…okay now twice. “I just told you that I’m immortal and all you say is, ‘okay’?”

“Well what would you like me to say Gerard?!” She half shouted, leaping to her feet. “You’ve just told me something that can’t possibly be true! Either you’re telling the truth or you’re completely insane! So tell me Gerard, how am I supposed to react to this?!”

“You think I’m crazy, don’t you?” I asked quietly.

She let out a long sigh and sat back down on the bed beside mine.

“I don’t know what to think anymore Gerard.” She said.

“Well that makes two us.” I replied.

“Hey I’m back!” Frank announced, rolling back into the hospital room in all of his glory. “Y’all miss me?”