Shit, the Jonas are My In-laws

The ride to my mother's was really loud, she rambled on the entire time about how she would do as a mother and what not. But she kept on, and on and ON. I was silently banging my head against the cool thick, rock hard glass of the widow for over 10 minutes.

"Just shut the fuck up for a mother fucking second!" I shouted as my patience ran out. "I know your hormones on a fritz, but take it out the dude who rode your ass like a cowboy back in the day."

"WHAT?" She shouted as I jumped out of the car with a big smile.

"Nothing, host life form." I skipped to the door of the house.

I didn't even knock on the door when the door swung open. Joe, the only straight haired of the mop heads, ran into me with such a force that all of the oxygen I carried in my lungs exploded out through my lips. We hit the hard cement floor with me, unfortunaly, on the bottom and the stupid equilibriumless idiot ontop of me.

"JOE!" I heard a bunch of voices shout. Sadly, they didn't name me, guess they couldn't see me from under his fat ass.

"Get the fuck off." I groaned as I weakly tried to push him off of me.

"Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god." He rammbled as he lifted himself a bit to get a better look at my face.

"What part of shut the fuck up-" I cut him off and then someone cut me off.

"What the fuck! Dude!" Domanic and my brother shouted from somewhere inside of the house.

"What the fuck are you guys doing here?" I asked as I wondered how the fuck they got here. Then it hit me, "Joe." I said in a very fake nice voice.

"What?" He asked innocently looking at me directly.

My voice started out gently, "There's a thing called," my voice then boomed, "GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!!! SHIT HEAD!!!"

He quickly jumped off of me, scrambled to get away, and jumped to his feet. He ended up behind three of his brother's with a scared look on his face.

My hand shot up in the air, "Assistence?"

"I'm going. I'm going." Domanic sighed as he came to my side. His hand slid into mine and pulled me up with ease.

I coughed from the after affects of the blow, "What the fuck were you running from? Crazed cross dressing fan (no offence intended.) jumped through the window and tried to rape you in you sleep?"

Everyone looked at me like "what-the-fuck", except from my quartet, they were laughing at my joke. I just ignored them and kept a poker face. Then suddenly I shouted, "What's up! Home Boyzzzzz" I shouted the last part in a boy's booming voice and ran through the door and into the kitchen.

"I see you guys made up." My mom said as she sipped her coffee while she wrote away on a notepad.

"Some-ting like that." I said and took a seat next to her, only to have everyone all join us in the kitchen. "Thanks for taking up my air space." I mumbled.

"Oh shut up." Christina chuckled as she threw a rag at me.

I caught it and smirked, "What? Not getting any?"

Her mouth and everyone else's dropped open. My brother was red, dark cherry red. Domanic was lobster red as he held in the laughter. The pack of virgins looked like they were going to explode from embarrasment. Mom looked like she was going to kill me. My sister was just blank and so was Frankie.

"What?" I asked looked around, "Did I say something wrong?"

Domanic shook his head and decided to lift me up. He took my spot and had me sit on his lap, arms around to make sure I didn't move, "You had way to much freakin sugar or something. You are staying right here and keeping your mouth shut."

"I agree." Rogue and Christina both said and took a seat. Rogue on the seat, and Christina on his lap.

A smirk formed on my face, "Remeber to use-" I didn't finish, Domanic's hand shot over my mouth.

"I'm not sure I can say the same thing about y'all." My brother shot back.

We didn't get any further because my mother decided to interupt us. "Enough. Girls we have to go to a boutique with me and Denise. Boys all have to go get your suits and crap with Paul."

"Nooo." I whined like a kid, "I don't wanna wear a dress! Me no cocktail waitress! I don't even wear a dress to work."

Joe raised an eyebrow, "What do you guys work as?"

"DJ." Rogue responded proudly.

"Mechanic." Responded Christina.

Then it was my turn, "Bartender, baby!"

"Mechanic." Domanic finished in monotone.

"Really?" All the Jonas asked with raised eyebrows.

My brat of a sister answered, "Yup. My brother and sister are well known in Maimi in the party business. They do parties for famous and rich people, they work for the top Maimi clubs. Domanic and Christina are pretty damn good mechanics, they have an autoshop. Pretty good income on all four ends."

"No offence mom, but Holy shit!" Joe yelled from across the table.

"How do you think we own a beach house in Maimi?" My brother responded sarcastically.

"Don't be rude." Christina hissed as she elbowed his stomach roughly, the blow didn't even make his abs itch.

"Now that you know what I do," I said " Who wants a drink!