Tonight, You're Gonna Break Your One Rule

When I wake up the next morning I don’t quite remember how I got there. I remember crying for hours with the clown prince's makeup streaming down my shoulder. I remember his sobs into my neck and then his voice whispering my name. I remember him falling asleep on my shoulder, I think, but then nothing.

I wake up, however, with my face in the crook of a half tan, half pale neck, and almost jump back in surprise. I blink slowly, having never woken up with him before.

I figure I've either woken up extremely early, or he's tired and had a lie in. I exhale and find the former more likely. I sigh dreamily onto my clowns' bare shoulder, wondering how it got that way, since I remember neither of us undressing. A quick glance under the covers tells me I'm clothed, to say the least, in the purple shirt Mister J had given me. Another glance tells me the Clown Prince is in a shirt and boxers, and I bite my lip, smiling.

I wonder absent-mindedly what will become of us now I've spilled my secret, and whether he'll ever leave Harley behind.

My soft breath had washed his shoulder, and he stirs, grunting a little as he wakes up, "Precious?" He murmurs, his lips barely moving. I lean my forehead on his chest, and he holds me a little tighter.

I don’t look up, afraid of what his blackened eyes might hold, wondering whether I want an answer yet, and instead smile a little, "I'm here, Mister J."

He sighs contentedly, and kisses the top of my head. The mere touch of his bare skin sends electric shocks through me. Despite the jolts, it's extremely soothing, and as the Joker's breath steadies and he falls asleep again, I find my own eyes drooping into a dreamless sleep.

I wake up a while later, alone, like usual, and rub my sore eyes. As I squirm and stretch onto my back, I realise the covers are draped and tucked around me with an element of care, far from the usual way they're thrown back, the Joker not caring whether I get cold or not. I raise a hand to my forehead and rub, soothing my slight headache, and when I pull my fingers away they're red from makeup.

I smile, wondering whether I'd get my answer, knowing I want it, but knowing I cant push him. I sigh happily as I move the covers back and swing my legs over the side, staring at the piece of wall in front of me but not really seeing.

Last night had seemed like a dream, Gotham's Number One, the Clown Prince of Crime, falling into hysterics in my arms, and the both of us crying the night away. I smile and run a hand through my hair, noting I should get it cut, or at least re-dyed again.

I stay there until I hear the white door click, and a few seconds later I see the Joker enter the room in the corner of my eye, holding two steaming cups of coffee. I look up and smile at him, taking the cup he proffers. He sits next to me, and I get the overwhelming urge to lean on his shoulder, but instead I clench all my muscles in an effort to stay still.

If he needed space I'd give it him, no matter how much I wanted him next to me.

We sit there for a while; simply sipping our coffee, until he inhales heavily, and his hand falls on my thigh. We both jump, and he moves his hand back a little as if it's been shocked.

"C'mon, Precious, we're going to rob a bank."

I turn to look at him, almost get lost into those dark abysses, but blink just in time. My body pulls me away from him for my own good, and I simply shut the bathroom door behind me, a far cry from what I did when I first came here.

I run my fingers across my scars and smile as I climb into the shower and stand under the hot water, sighing contentedly. I emerge a while later, refreshed, and towel dry, wrapping the soft white fibres securely round me before going to get my clothes, simple black jeans, my favourite boots, a simple red shirt, and a black tie. I move back to the bathroom, not lingering in the empty bedroom, and shrug on my clothes, pulling on the thin tie last, into a thin, scruffy knot.

I regard my reflection, and for a second, stand there, considering doing my own makeup just not to disturb the Joker, to give him his space still. I nod reassuringly to myself and open the medicine cabinet, taking out my makeup and placing them on the sink. My fingers are tentative as they press into the white, and quickly smear it over my face, gradually smoothing it out and covering my skin.

I was acutely aware I would be on the receiving end of some cold glances, and wouldn't be lying particularly close to the Joker at night after I'd revealed my secret, and I heave a sigh as I pick up my eyeshadow, carefully applying it with my mouth open, keeping my jaw dropped as I do the false eyelashes too, smiling at the lime green. I pick up the lipstick and feel its weight in my hands for a second, and feel a twang of betrayal, my clown was meant to do my makeup.

My hands shake a little as I apply my lipstick, though just can't get it right, and scrub it off, reapplying the white around my mouth again. I twist the lipstick back into its holder and toss it in my hands, pulling open the bathroom door and hoping he was there.

He was indeed, sat at his desk, though this time not hunched over, scribbling away, but sat back, with his gloved hands clasped behind his head. He turns his head towards me, and just looks, not moving nor speaking, just staring. I clear my throat a little and move forward, "Mister J? Will you do my lipstick, I just can't get it right..."

I hear him exhale just a tiny bit, and he stands up, shaking out his muscles a little, before stepping towards me. I hand him my lipstick and he twists it open, lifting it to my lips. I find his other hand at the back of my neck, holding me there, and I breathe in a shaky lungful.

"I thought," His lips are barely moving and I almost struggle to hear him, "I do your makeup?"

I blink slowly, and find my hands resting on just below his heart, "I didn't want to bother you..."

The Joker simply chuckles under his breath, and caps my lipstick, moving away to the chair, where he shrugs on his own coat, and holds mine out to me. I slip into it, and his hands rest on my shoulders for a second, before I hear him move away. I take my knife from its usual place under my pillow, and make sure my gun is in my pocket where I'd left it.

I follow the Joker up the stairs, and out to the back of the industrial unit, where the goons are piling in the van. The Joker makes to step towards the van, and I reach out and my fingers slide against his.

He spins, quicker than I realise, and my words block my throat for a second before I swallow them, "Can we go in the other car... please?"

He simply smiles, and he licks his lips, smoothing down one side of his hair. I smile and lick my lips back, following the Joker round the corner and to the passenger side of the sleek, black car. I climb in and carefully click my seatbelt into place before looking over, and just simply watching my clown. As we speed onto the highway, I reach over with a pale, shaking hand, and place it delicately on his thigh. His head snaps over to look at me, for a dangerously long time, it seemed, and he smiles, wide and yellow-toothed, before he looks at the road.

I just stare, and get the overwhelming urge to lean over, slide my hand a little further up his leg and kiss him like the world was going to end. But I don’t, and simply rest my hand there, clenching all my muscles in an effort to sit still. As we pull up outside an executive, smart looking bank, the Joker pulls out a small radio.

"Okay," He drawls softly, and I guess he's talking to the goons in the van, "Here's the plan. Precious and me go in, we cause a little mayhem. Then after a while, you come in, and we cause a little more mayhem. Joe, alarms. Pete, money."

There's a quiet crackling, then a voice I can't identify swims into the car, "Yes boss."

The Joker nods, once, then turns to me, and smiles just a little before licking his lips, "Got your gun and knife Precious?"

I smile and nod, simply spellbound by him. Now I'd admitted it, I could embrace it even more, and no matter his answer I know I'll love him for a long time. He reaches into the back and pulls out two trilby hats, a deep black, and places one on his head, and I almost giggle, until he places the other on mine, and signals to pull them down over our faces. I follow him quickly from the car, and he moves past the van, making eye contact with the driver so he knows we're heading in.

I pull my hat over my face, and bend my head, and for once the Joker and I enter a building inconspicuously. We head to the managers office, but the Joker stops me in the wooden hallway, listening to the voices. We hear the manager and his 'assistant' talking, and after a while it becomes clear that the woman was far more than this assistant, if you get what I mean.

The Joker giggles behind his hand like a child, and rises swiftly, entering the room with a flourish. Both jump, yet neither realise it's the Joker and I in their presence, so there are no screams. We move forward, our palms flat on the opposite side of the table where both are sat. In perfect sync, though I don’t know how, we lift our hats from our heads. The woman screams and the manager stands up quickly, trying to intimidate us.

I snort a little, intimidate us? No chance. They both make a run for it, as we draw our knives, and since we’re behind the desk, they get a small head start. The Joker growls in frustration and skids after them on the marble floor. He catches the manager, but as the man spins round, he presses a gun to the Joker's neck.

"Got you, you sick bastard," The man hisses, and my clown gulps, caught. I gasp, and snatch at the manager's assistant. She tugs against me but I bare my teeth, pulling her close to me as my gun twitches at her temple. I lick my lips and chuckle.

"Wouldn't do that if I were you," I hear the woman whimper and shush her sharply, "Or your pretty piece of meat here gets blown to bits,"

The manager regards me for a second, and sees instantly that I would have no qualms shooting his assistant, and with a growl pushes the Joker away. My clown stumbles back a step and laughs, raking a hand through his hair.

Just then the goons walk through the door, and screams erupt around us. I watch the manager glance around a few more times, and his lips curl. This guy wasn't just a bank manager I was sure of it, and I see his hand twitch around his gun again. I push the woman away, and hear her scream, just as the man raises his gun again. It seems to happen in slow motion, and the Joker is too busy talking to the scared patrons to notice. I run at the bank manager and almost pounce, knocking him flat on his back and landing with a foot and a knee in his chest. He splutters a little and the Joker spins on his heel. The short run had pushed adrenaline through every centimetre of me, and I bare my teeth at the man.

"You can't threaten my clown and get away with it," My knife slides into my hand and I place it tenderly just above his Adam's apple. I glance up to the Joker, to make sure I could kill this man, in case he wasn't an important part of an important plan. The Joker smiles and licks his lips, nodding at me. I turn back to the man and smile, licking my lips too, my muscles tensing as I dig my knife into his throat. I yank it to the left, then the right, and feel blood spurt up my arm. I stand up, exhaling heavily and shake my arm, splattering blood across the floor. I get the overwhelming urge to kiss my clown, but instead just smile at him, hoping something will happen when we get home.

Home, that's what the hideout was to me now, I couldn't ever contemplate leaving. My knife feels just right in my hand, and I toss it a few more times, before looking around at the chaos. A moment later Pete emerges from the vault with four or five heavily laden holdalls, and I spring forward, taking two off him and smiling. He simply scowls and almost throws them at me, so instead of trying to be nice I throw them back at his feet and walk off.

The Joker meets me a few steps away and grabs my hand, pulling me away. I see a grenade, just one, laying next to the manager, and hear him tell the goons to move it. We all run from the door, and I feel the start of the explosion as I dive into the passenger seat and watch the Joker throw himself in too. He's barely sat down before he's started the engine and we're roaring down the road.

I sigh happily, aware of the blood soaking my sleeve and specking my face, and as we weave between traffic I can't wait to get back home and hold him.

I slowly exit the car and shut the door behind me, and since we're in the faster car we're back before the goons. I follow the Joker down the stairs, watching the way his muscles move and twitch, drinking in every detail.

I follow him to the bedroom, and stand in the middle of the room for a second before inhaling sharply.

"Mister J?" My voice is nervous, and he can tell, turning slowly and stepping close to me, "What I told you last night... have you got an answer?"

I hear him breathing, concentrating only on that as he moves closer and his hands find my waist. He sighs softly, and I start to feel disappointment ebbing its way through me.

"I need time Precious, just give me time..." He whispers, and my hands rise to the side of his face, where they tentatively rest there, cupping his cheeks.

Our faces are millimetres away, and I just see his eyes, and that's all I want to see, "I'll give you all the time you need, Mister J. I love you, and I always will."

He gasps, and his hands tighten round my ribcage, "Say that again," He whispers.

I furrow my eyebrows a little and move a fraction closer, "I love you, Mister J, and I always will.

He sighs in rapture and closes his eyes, holding me tighter and gasping "Say it again,"

I move closer and tilt his face towards me, his eyes still closed, lips parted, "I love you Mister J," My voice is shaking and I lick my lips carefully, "And I always will."

He heaves a ragged breath in and digs his nails into my skin. I gasp, but he talks over me, almost frantic now, "Say it again, God, say it again!"

I'm almost crying now, and I don’t quite know why, "I love you, Mist- Jack, and I always will."

I lean up to kiss him, parting my lips and feeling his breath, and a split second before our lips touch he lets me go and moves away. I don’t open my eyes, but know exactly where he's going, my suspicions confirmed when I hear the click of the mystery door.

I follow him to the closed door, and lean against it, suddenly tired, and sink to the floor, closing my eyes and feeling a tear slip down my cheek.

"I love you, no matter how crazy is it. I love you, you crazy, clown criminal. I love you."