Tonight, You're Gonna Break Your One Rule

Simplicity was at it's best between the Clown Prince of Crime and his Death Clown. We'd rob some stores, cause some chaos, and let the whole town know. Then we'd lose our makeup and become Cally and Jack, simplicity at it's best, one soul, two bodies, perfection.

Our perfection and simplicity was blindingly obvious in the short video I was watching back, one we'd recorded earlier this after. I was giving it the final run-through before it was dropped off, anonymously of course, at the television station. It simply told Gotham we were going to do something big, so be on their toes! But, of course, we didn't tell them what, where or when. That was the fun.

I watched carefully as we stood in the white room, laughing, before the Joker dropped the camera, saying to me, as if we didn't realise the film was still running, "This town'll be biting at each other's throats when we've finished with them. We can just sit back and watch the chaos Precious."

I simply smile, and unbeknownst to the camera we share a kiss, sparks flying between bitter red lips. The Joker turns off the camera and I take it up to our room, where I'm now looking it over. I give it the mark of approval and slip it into the blank, brown envelope, sealing it closed with a lick of my tongue. I pull a face at the taste of the tack, and slip on my shoes as I go in search of the Joker.

I find him in the kitchen, sat at the table. Well, sat in a chair, with his feet resting on the table. He turns to look at me when I enter the room, and smiles, "Just finished talking to the henchmen. We're doin' a small time raid later tonight Precious, I guess you're in huh?"

I toss the package in my hand; "I gotta drop this off, right? And I reckon I'm gonna go..., well, clubbing to be honest. I'll listen out for how Gotham's feeling; I'm an expert at body language, Mister J, that alright?" I just felt as if I needed to be me for a while, have some normal fun. Besides, I felt like I should get out and listen to Gotham's reaction to our clown antics.

The Joker pursed his lips for a second, "Good thinking, bring back something nice," He says, as he hops up and grabs my waist. He pulls me close to him and giggles. I snake my arms round his neck, throwing the envelope onto the table as I do. He sways our hips together and I rest my cheek against his, straining on my tiptoes. He moves so I can stand on his feet, since I'm a few inches shorter. I laugh and kiss him, missing those red lips even though I'd kissed them mere hours ago.

I smile as he holds me tight, and presses one last kiss to my lips, "Mhhm, I love you Cally-Rose."

I rest my forehead against his and grin, "I love you too Jack." He grins back, lifting my up and spinning us round. He sets me down and takes my hand, leading us back to the bedroom. I watch as he takes the pocket watch from his waistcoat, checking the time on its ornate face. He tells me, although I don't really listen, that I should get ready to go out. That tape did have to make it to the station for GCN's evening news, after all. I nod, and dig through my dresser, pulling out a black skirt, red, patent waist-clincher belt, and a baggy black, vest top thing. I strip down my underwear, right there. Why should I care the Joker was sat on the bed, pulling on a pair of diamond pattern socks. He stops and stares however, until I pull on my skirt and top, smiling at him.

I see his foot tapping restlessly as I fix my belt, and give myself a pale sheen, leaving off my usual makeup, apart from slightly smoky eyes, since I was mixing with Gotham's oblivious tonight. I snatch a scarf from my top drawer, and wind it tight round my neck and my mouth, hiding the things I was told never to. I see the Joker scowl a little at that, and rise from his seat on the bed. He comes up close to me and raises a weathered hand to pull at my scarf. He smiles when he sees my scars, and brushing his fingers across them, leaving a small white dash from the makeup tipping them.

"That's better," He murmurs. I smile back at him and shake my head, cupping his cheek in my hand.

"But what I am supposed to do then?"

"Be proud."

I bow my head in acknowledgement and smile, feeling the blush creep over my cheeks. We stay like that until I have to go, and I give my clown a lingering kiss, before wishing him good luck and goodbye, retrieving my package from the kitchen and climbing the stairs from the hideout. I've taken the car keys too, even though I don't have a licence. If the cops stop me they'll have more to worry about than my absent licence, I think with a coy smile.

I pull my scarf around my face, as I pull up, extremely quickly, outside the GCN headquarters, and throw myself from the car. I leave the car running and take the steps, two at a time. I stride through the doors, and upto the desk, quickly slamming my package down on the desk, in front of the petrified receptionist. My voice comes rough in my throat as I stare right at her.

"Play it. On the news tonight. Or else." I hold her gaze for a second longer, before winking at her and running back out the doors. I climb quickly into the car and drive off. I sigh heavily, feeling the adrenaline buzz through my veins, as I pull the scarf from round my mouth and my hands go white on the wheel.

As I park outside the 666 Club, the car close enough to the door to reach easily, but far away enough not to be recognised, I notice an alley snaking down beside the club. In fact, I realise with a huge grin, the alley I was properly introduced to my clown.

His voice still sent shivers tumbling down my spine, but in the best possible way now. I'm still grinning as I pull my scarf around my chin, and tilt my head downwards. I push open the large, reinforced door and barely get a glance from the bouncer, which is good I suppose.

I don't make a beeline for anything, and just wander round, soaking in all the sights and sounds, letting myself get thrown about by dancing bodies. After a while, when my scarf nearly gets dislodged, I start pushing my way through to the bar, and sit right at the end, waiting patiently until one of the bartenders, a would be attractive boy, with dark hair and pale eyes, if I went for that sort of thing, sidled up to me.

"What'll it be?" He murmurs, giving my scarf a weird look. I rest my chin on my palm and act as if I'm perfectly normal, "Jack Daniels and coke please." As the boy nods and retrieves my drink, I realise I might not have any money, and start frantically patting down my clothes, until I find a crumpled five in my pocket, and pull it out, passing it to the bartender gratefully.

I twist in my seat and watch the crowd with a mild interest as I sip my drink, one eyebrow raised. I finish that drink, then decide, with a small smile, that it's my night out, I may as well treat myself, and order another. Then, as I've grown bored of being so still, in the same place for the time being, I get up and wonder round.

I pass three girls, huddled around the middle ones phone, the light illuminating their faces a little more than the flashing ones filling the room. I don't take any notice of them, until I hear a beautifully familiar laugh. I spin, right round, expecting to see my Clown Prince addressing the room, spilling fear through each dancer on the floor, but I don't. I frown for a second, before slowly turning round and realising that the laugh had originated from the girl's phone. I take a few, casual steps behind the girls, and stand on my toes to see the screen. I place it as the video I'd dropped off about an hour ago at the television station. I grin, but wonder how they've got the video so quickly. I hear him laugh again and grin a little wider, licking my lips beneath their cover.

"Jesus, that laugh." I hear one of them say, and frown, hard, "Wow, he's amazing! But that girl's there, fucking hell. What the hell is she? Fucking lucky bitch."

I clear my throat and tilt my head up, trying to make myself seem a little more imposing, "You girls like the Joker then?"

All three turn to me, extremely quick, before the middle one spits, "What's it to you?" and turns back. It strikes me the girls are extremely young, sixteen or seventeen at the most, just a teenage infatuation with a bad boy. The baddest of the bad, I thought with a smile. I had to teach these girls a lesson, after all it wasn't right to lust after another girl's man, no matter who they were. Besides, at sixteen they shouldn't be in clubs or watching videos of sociopaths. No, no, they should be at home, get a real boyfriend, one who doesn't cheat on them, and leave myMister J alone. I grimace and pull my scarf from my neck, feeling a little less oppressed, before clearing my throat again.

"I said. You girls like the Joker then?" They turn to me again, and double glance. I grin at them, and the middle one gasps, glancing at her phone, "It's, Jesus, it's... it's you!" She looks once more at her phone before jumping and hiding it behind her back. The other two girls take a step closer to her and I grin at them.

"I'll take that as a yes?" I say happily, bouncing on the balls of my feet, "Obsessions are never a good thing girls." I raise my finger and waggle it at the girls, biting my lip to stop my laughter as they jump back in fright. They take a second, before seemingly overcoming their fright, and now become intensely annoying.

"It’s you!"

"Well done." I mutter, taking a sip of my drink and raising an eyebrow.

"You and The Joker, you and Mister J! I mean," I raise both my eyebrows then, and clench my fist round my drink. My Mister J, how dare she?

"What’s you name, what does he call you, Death Clown is it?" They sound like a flock of birds, or sheep, their voices so high and layered I can barely hear them.

"No, 'Precious' isn't it?" The other two scowl as the one girl says my name, and my hand clenches a little harder around my glass.

The girls mutter something between them, and one nudges the other as I watch with a frown. They look at me, and I see fear and envy entwined within their irises, and thrive off both of them. One of them plucks up the courage and the other two nudge her, giggling a little.

"You know you and the Joker, do you... you know, are you... is he..." I raise my eyebrow as she stumbles over her words, and the other two elbow her furiously, until the middle one, the more defiant one speaks softly, under her breath

"I bet he's an amazing kisser isn't he." I raise one eyebrow and clench my hands even more, wishing I could whip my knife out right here, but I exercised my self restraint, not wanting to draw unneeded attention. Besides, I wanted to show these girls why they shouldn't mess with the Clown Prince and his Death Clown. I open my mouth to reply, but the other one chips in before I can answer, "I bet he is with those lips."

I don't think my eyebrows could rise any further, but I've had enough now, my self control just beneath my shoes, and I turn away. My shoes click, though I don’t hear them, as I walk away, because the girls are following me, chattering along like birds, and I turn to them again.

"You should know not to play with the bad guys, girlies. It never works out," I bite my lip and chastise them, as they take a scared step back. My knife is casual in my right hand, now, and I twist it through my fingers as I consider it. I take a deep breath and nod to myself, "Seven o'clock, the alley outside here. You'll get to meet the Clown Prince himself."

Their chatters rise an octave and a few decibels as I walk away, and I set my scowl firmly in place. I pull my scarf back over my chin, and quickly weave my way through the crowds to lose the girls, exiting the back way, down the alley. I start the car up quickly and drive back to the hideout, tapping my foot restlessly, itching to talk to my clown, hoping he'll be back from whatever heist they've decided to pull tonight. I pull up around the back of our warehouse and turn off the engine, grabbing the keys, exiting the car and locking it behind me.

I take the steps two at a time, and bang hard on the iron door, "It's me! I'm back!" I get no reply, nor does the door open. So I push all my weight onto the door and it cracks open. I shut it behind me and make a beeline for the bedroom, wondering why I got no answer. I go in to find the Joker sprawled on the bed, flat on his back, eyes closed.

I almost scream and run over to him, climbing on the bed next to him and placing a hand on his chest. I'm relieved to find his heartbeat, and his eyes flutter open. His lips fall open in an attempt to speak, but coughs retch up his windpipe and he sits up, coughing for a while. I rub his back, and when he lies back down I shuffle a little closer and smooth his hair, worry running through me so fast I can barely think.

"We got gassed," He splutters, "Middle of the raid, the cops turn up and throw in this disgusting green stuff, like my venom. We barely got out."

I sigh in relief, the effects would only be temporary, and lie down against his chest, splaying my fingers across his heart, "You had me worried then, Jack."

He smiles and kisses the top of my head, "Nothing to worry about my precious Cally, I'm fine."

I smile, and close my eyes, but I can't get those three girls out my head. I needed to tell the Joker my little plan, before either of us fell asleep or got otherwise engaged, "Mister J? There are girls out there who fantasize about you, you know..."

I look up and him, and he's looking down at me, a curious, unbelieving smile playing on his lips, "Really? I can't blame them," His eyes are sparkling in a way I know he's joking, but I'm frowning a little.

"I'm serious, they're totally, obsessively infatuated..." I heave a sigh and shuffle a little closer to him, winding a hand around his neck, my thumb rubbing across his jaw line, "I met three tonight, they were watching the video I dropped off earlier. I said to them to meet me tomorrow night outside the 666 Club, we can show them not to mess with Gotham's most wanted, huh?"

He smiles down at me, "Definitely, we'll show them my darling."

-x-

At five to seven the next evening, three girls spill from the pounding club into the alley outside the 666. The Joker and I smile, and I give him a last peck on the lips in the shadows, before he strides out from them, his knife securely in his left hand.

The girls gasp, and I swear one screams, in delight of course, and they immediately try to compose themselves, setting a small smile on their faces as my clown approaches them.

"Hello girls," He purrs, and they squeal even more, making me wince, "I hear you quite like me then, do you?" They stand perfectly still and look up at the beautiful clown towering over them, nodding slowly. They don’t meet his eyes, and stare instead at his shoes, until the point of his switchblade touches the underneath of their chins, pulling their faces up to meet him. One whimpers as his switchblade knocks her hat off, and he tuts softly.

"Precious, my Death Clown?" He calls softly, and I step from the shadows, a small, smug smirk playing on my lips. They all glare at me for a second, until the Joker starts speaking again, to me, but staring right at the girls, clearly freaking them out.

"Shall we teach them a lesson?" His voice was soft, and playful, but I could hear the dangerous streak in it, and the girls try to take a step back. I'm there, behind them, and my voice automatically leaps to agree with my clown.

He smiles, dangerously, baring his yellowing teeth, and as I grab one of the girls by the neck, applying my fingers to a pressure point that will immediately knock her out, the Joker whips the butt of his pistol against one girls forehead. Then, as the other, eyes wide with fear, takes a step back, he pushes one hand against her and knocks her head back into the wall, knocking her too out cold.

He picks up two of the girls, and I pick up the other one. We quickly drag them to the van, which we'd thankfully brought tonight, and throw them in the back. The Joker slams the door behind them, and turns to me with a grin. He cups my face in his hand, and leans down to kiss me softly.

"We'll show them not to play with fire."