The Way You Make Me Feel

Lila's P.O.V.

It was a known fact that Tom tended to hold a grudge. He'd been doing that since we were kids. It was just one of his flaws. One time, Carrie accidentally broke his Luke Skywalker action figure and he didn't talk to her for two weeks. I am not joking. He went two weeks without talking to his little sister because she broke his toy. And keep in mind she was only four years old at the time. Tom, on the other hand, was eleven.

The fact that he held a grudge never really bothered me, though, seeing as he was never really mad at me. I was always that one person that he could never be mad at. I could break all twenty of his Star Wars action figures and he wouldn't mind. I always thought it was kind of weird that I could get away with anything when it came to Tom, but I never wished it to be any different. I enjoyed having a "get out of jail free card" with Tom. But, for some reason, all of a sudden he was holding a grudge against me. The biggest problem, though, was that I didn't even know why.

It all started a few days ago. The day after Danny had shared his little "slip-up" with me, to be exact. Tom left to go to Dougie's flat a few minutes after I woke up. We shared a brief exchange of words. He didn't seem all that different. A little distant, yes, but not cold like he was when he got back from Dougie's. When he got back, he was a completely different person. He barely spoke to me and when he did, he was short tempered and rude. This wasn't Tom at all. This wasn't my Tom.

At first I figured that he just got into an argument with one of the guys or had a stressful day writing songs for the new album. But when his attitude didn't wear off days later, I started to realize that it was me. It was definitely my fault that Tom was acting so... off. I attempted to ask him what was wrong, but every time I did he would roll his eyes and storm off. I even asked the guys what they thought was wrong with him.

"It's probably stress. He could never be mad at you, Li."

"It's just his time of the month. I always told you he was a chick."

"Did you steal his socks? He always gets mad at me when I do that."

That was the marvelous feedback I got from Harry, Dougie, and Danny. And none of it helped. It didn't help the feeling of isolation that kept haunting my life. FIrst my mom abandoned me, then my dad practically left me to fend for myself. After my parents isolated me, my friends felt the need to join the bandwagon. And now Tom was leaving me as well. That's what scared me the most. I always thought that the one person who wouldn't leave me would be Tom, but I guess I was wrong. He left me just like all of the others. I guess everyone leaves in due time.

Tom's P.O.V.

One week earlier...

"Hey, Doug," I said as I trudged into his flat with my guitar and notebook in hand. Dougie looked up from his bass and nodded at me as I took a seat next to him. "Where's everyone else?"

"Late, apparently," Dougie said as he plucked away at a tune on his bass and suddenly shot his head up with a childish smirk on his face. "Dude, has Lila told you yet?"

"Told me what?" I asked hesitantly. There wasn't anything newsworthy that Lila had told me recently. So, obviously whatever Dougie knew was something that Lila was trying to hide from me. I know, I know, I'm jumping to conclusions again. I can't help it, though! My mind has just always assumed the worst. It's become a habit now.

"About her and Danny," Dougie said, his smirk growing wider. My eyebrows pulled together as my mind started jumping to conclusions again. Conclusions that I knew were false, but couldn't help wondering about nonetheless.

"What about them?"

"Dude, I think they're dating," Dougie said as he looked back down at his bass.

That was when my heart stopped, fell, and shattered into a million pieces.

How could they do that to me? How could Lila date my best friend? Did she completely oversee my feelings for her. Or did she see them and decide to ignore them? And Danny? How could he go behind my back like that? How could he date the girl that I told him was off-limits? How could he date the girl that I was in love with?

Love. I'd never thought of Lila that way before. I knew that I had feelings for her. I didn't know that I was in love with her, though. I'd never said it out loud. But, then again, it's the unspoken words that are really from our hearts. I was finally able to admit it to myself. I was in love with Lila Paterson. Love.

"What?!" I half-yelled. "Why do you think that?!"

"Well, Danny told me that they slept together, so, I kinda just - " Dougie began, only to be cut off by my raging voice.

"He slept with her?!" I yelled as Dougie's eyes widened a bit in horror. I wasn't normally the yelling type. Most of the time I didn't get upset, but this just pissed me off. If Danny were there, I would've killed him.

"Well, yeah," Dougie said hesitantly. "I don't see why you're getting so upset."

"I'm upset because - " I said, but then got interrupted by Danny and Harry walking into Dougie's flat.

"Sorry we're late," Harry said as I glared at Danny.

"Danny! You ass!" I yelled as I stared daggers at him. Danny's wide grin slowly faded once her realized that I was seriously about to kill him. He looked from me to Dougie in confusion as I opened my mouth and yelled some more profanities at him.

"Mate, I'm not that late," Danny said as he looked down at his wristwatch. "It's not like we could've written a masterpiece in the five minutes that I wasn't here."

"Obviously everything's a joke to you, Dan! My feelings are clearly not important to you! So, I'm guessing that the band isn't either!" I screamed as Danny laughed nervously and took a few steps away from me.

"Tom? Are you alright?" Harry asked as I let out a groan of anger and kicked the sofa as hard as possible.

"There's no need to take it out on the couch," Dougie said quietly as he rubbed the spot where I'd kicked the sofa. I didn't even bother to respond. I just grabbed my coat and stormed out of Dougie's flat, not intending to return that day. I couldn't bear to even look at Danny after knowing what he'd done - or better put, who he'd done.

By the time I got back to my flat, I was so pissed off that I just didn't want to talk to anybody. I ignored the numerous texts that I got from the guys asking what was wrong. I figured that they'd know. Well, at least Danny should know. And Dougie, too. They should've known what was bothering me. But, apparently they were both as brainless as I'd always assumed they were.

"Hey, Tom," Lila said with a bright smile as she sat at the kitchen table eating a piece of toast and reading the morning paper. "You're home early."

"Good observation," I said sarcastically. It wasn't a funny type of sarcasm, though. It was almost rude. No, it was rude. A look of confusion and hurt spread across Lila's face for a millisecond before she concealed her feelings.

"I've got a couple of hours before I have to go to work. Do you wanna go out or something?" Lila asked as she put her newspaper down and pierced me with her gaze.

"Why don't you ask Danny," I suggested bitterly as Lila's eyebrows pulled together.

"Danny's not you," Lila said quietly. Her voice was so small that it was almost a whisper. Part of me thought that she didn't want me to hear her statement, but I did nonetheless.

"Well, it seems as if you like him more than me anyways," I said as I reached into the refrigerator for a beer.

"I don't. I never could," Lila said as she noticed the beer that was in my hand. "It's a bit early for a beer, don't you think?"

"I'm not going out," I said, ignoring her comment. "Have fun by yourself. I'll be in my room."

As I walked towards my room, I felt a pang of guilt at what I'd just said. Maybe I shouldn't have been so upset with her. If she had feelings for Danny, I should've been supportive. I can't just expect her to like me and only me. But, why couldn't she like me? What was so repulsive about me? I mean, I wasn't the most attractive guy around, but it's not like I was hideous. And my personality was flawed, yes, but Austin was way more of an asshole than I could ever be. And Lila somehow managed to fall for him. Maybe it was just the fact that I was her best friend...

But in the midst of all my thoughts, if I'd have turned around, I would've seen a single tear cascade down Lila's face.