The Way You Make Me Feel

Lila's P.O.V.

I paced around the living room in worry, glancing over at the door every few seconds to see if he'd come in yet. My heart was pounding loudly in my chest, sending a new jolt of anxiety with every pump. Within a few seconds, my nails were being bitten off hastily as I ran a hand through my long blonde hair.

"Hey," Tom said as he walked through the door, causing my eyes to widen and my heart to pound even faster. "You okay?"

"I got a phone call today," I said quickly. "Well, two actually."

"...Okay?..." he said in a confused voice as I shook my head and began pacing again. I didn't want to tell him the news. I knew that he wouldn't take it well. How could he? It had the possibility of ruining everything that we were.

"No, I mean, from the jobs," I said as realization spread across his face. He took my hands in his and looked at me with every ounce of love he had in him. I'm not even sure why. Maybe it was just to comfort me in case the news was bad. Or maybe it was to try and let me know that he'd love me no matter what. I didn't think of either of these things at the time, though.

"I got both jobs," I said with a smile as Tom grinned at me and gave me a kiss and a hug.

"I knew you'd get them, Li," he mumbled into my hair, his arms still wrapped tightly around my waist. "So, you're gonna take the one in London, right?"

"That's the thing," I started as his face fell. "I really want to take the job in New York."

"You can't," Tom said simply as his arms dropped from around my waist and he took a step back from me. "You can't just let this all fall apart. You can't leave me now. We're getting married! You can't throw that all away."

"I'm not throwing anything away," I said as I took a step towards him, only to have him move away again. "We can work through this! I know we can."

"How? You'll be on a completely different continent, Lila!" Tom half-yelled as I felt my heart drop into my stomach. "Why can't you just take the bloody job in London?"

"Why can't you just move to New York with me?" I rebutted as Tom glared at me and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I can't leave the band," he said as I scoffed. "You know that."

"Oh, so, your career is more important than mine? Is that what you're trying to say?" I asked bitterly, suddenly realizing that this was quickly evolving into the worst fight Tom and I had ever been in... ever.

"No," he said as he rolled his eyes. "But, this isn't just my career! What about Danny, Dougie, and Harry? If I leave the band, they're fucked."

"Solo careers," I said shortly as Tom grunted and kicked the wall in aggravation.

"What about our fans?!" he yelled as I took a step back. "I can't leave England! And you don't need to either! If you only got the job in New York, that'd be different! I'd understand if you needed to go and I'd try everything I have in me to make this work! But, you don't have to leave. This is just you being so damn stubborn that you can't even think about the effect this will have on us!"

"Do you realize how selfish you're being, Tom? You're making me give up my dream for you," I spat.

"Then leave me!" Tom yelled as tears began to form in his eyes and a broken sort of look shadowed his face. I was about to do exactly what he said and walk out the door, but then I looked down at the engagement ring on my hand. As I looked down at that ring, I thought about everything Tom and I had been through. I thought about all of our childhood antics, long conversations at 3 AM, and that free and invincible feeling that I got when he was around.

"I can't do that," I said so quietly that he couldn't hear as tears began to cascade down my face. Tom sighed and ran his hands over his face as he began to pace in the same manner that I had earlier. I could feel the tension that was radiating from him as he looked down at the floor, deep in thought.

"Lila, I can't live without you," Tom said once he finally looked back up at me. "Please, don't make me beg for you to stay."

There are certain moments in a person's life when they give up something they want for a person they care about. When we were fourteen, Tom gave up going to see the new Star Wars movie on opening night with some of his friends, because my boyfriend of three weeks had broken up with me. I guess when I saw that pleading look in Tom's eyes that showed a mixture of desperation, sadness, and love, I realized that it was my turn to give up something important. But, in reality, I was keeping something far more important than a stupid job.

"I think I should call New York," I said as Tom's face fell into a broken look and in a brief moment, I could've sworn I saw a tear stream down his face. "I've gotta tell them that I'm not going, after all."

"You're not going?" Tom asked hopefully, a smile gracing his once dark features. I gave him a broken smile before nodding and being engulfed in a large hug. Sure, I would've liked to have gone to New York and taken the job of my dreams, but sometimes you've got to make a sacrifice. And I wasn't willing to let go of Tom. I needed him just as much as he needed me. Without him, I was nothing. He truly completed me.

"I couldn't leave you," I mumbled as Tom continued to hug me tightly.

>>>

"So you're not taking the job in New York?" Jazzie asked as I sat with her in a coffee shop later that day. I was still somewhat upset about not being able to take the job. But, when I looked at the bigger picture, I'd rather stay with Tom and take the job in London.

"No," I said as I looked down at my cup of coffee. "It would destroy Tom and I."

"But this is the job that you've always wanted!" Jazzie rebutted as I shot her a glare.

"And Tom's the guy that I've always wanted," I mumbled. "Please don't try and convince me to leave."

"I just don't see why he won't try and make it work," Jazzie said as she crossed her arms over her chest. I shot her another glare. I knew what she was trying to do. She was trying to make me take the job in New York. And if it weren't for Tom, I would've. He just means so much to me, though, that I couldn't even think of leaving him. And if I went to New York, our relationship would fall apart.

"It's complicated, Jazz," I said. "Aren't you happy that I'm staying, though?"

"Yeah, I'm just upset that you're not taking this job," she said as she looked at me with sad eyes. I rolled mine in response and smiled at her, trying to convince her that I was truly happy. And I was. Obviously, New York just wasn't in the cards for me, and I was fine with that.

"But, I'm happy," I said with a reassuring smile. "I really am. There's so much more to life than just a job, Jazz."

"Alright," she said in an unconvinced tone as I rolled my eyes at her. "As long as you're happy."

"I'm very happy."