The Way You Make Me Feel

Lila's P.O.V.

"I'll just have tea," I said to the waiter before he nodded and scurried off. My gaze lifted from my hands to Austin's eyes with nervousness. His icy blue eyes seemed to be piercing me, leaving an ever-bleeding wound. It hurt to go to lunch with him after everything that he'd done to me. It was like having to pet a dog that had just bitten me.

"So, what have you been up to, Li?" Austin asked casually, his eyes still piercing through me. His fingers were intertwined and his eyebrows raised slightly as if he were in a business meeting.

"Nothing really," I said nonchalantly. "I just got offered two jobs."

"That's great! I'm really happy for you," Austin said, catching me slightly off guard. "Are you gonna take one of them?"

"Yeah, I'm going to take the job in London," I said. "I really wanted to take the job in New York, but Tom didn't really like that idea, so I'm staying here."

"Why?" Austin asked, shocked. "If you want to take the job in New York, you should. Don't let Fletcher dictate what you do!"

"Well, it's not really a big deal. I'm happy taking the job in London," I said with a shrug. Austin shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest, confusing me. He made me feel as if I was an idiot. And not just an idiot, but an idiot who was making a mistake.

"I never thought you'd be the type of girl to give up her dreams for a guy," Austin said in an almost disappointed voice.

"I'm not giving up my dreams," I said defensively. "Plus, I'm engaged to Tom. It's not like he's just another guy."

"Which is why you'd think he'd let you take the job in New York," Austin said, catching my attention. I had suddenly become very confused about things. Austin was suddenly warping my perfect image of Tom. He was making me doubt the love that I never thought would die. And all of this was happening in a matter of minutes.

"What do you mean?" I asked, somewhat scared to hear the answer.

"Well, if Fletcher really loved you, he'd let you follow your dreams," he said with a shrug. "He'd try and make it work."

"Are you saying that Tom doesn't love me?" I asked as Austin shrugged.

"I don't really know the guy well enough to tell," he said. "I just find it a bit odd, is all. I mean, if we were still dating, I'd let you take the job."

"Well, we're not dating anymore."

"Unfortunately, we're not," Austin said, catching me off guard yet again.

"Listen, I doubt that Tom would lie about loving me," I said, pushing his previous comment aside. "Why would he do something like that?"

"Come on, it's not like Fletcher's a real ladies man," Austin said as I glared at him.

"But he wasn't desperate either!" I snapped, trying not to seem as confused as I actually was. "Why did you want me to come to lunch with you, anyways?"

"I'm still in love with you, Lila."

I sat there with my mouth agape, wondering how this was all happening. It was all too much for me to handle at the moment. I mean, not only was he confusing me about my current relationship, but he was making me think about getting back together with him! I could only handle so much at once!

"I'm engaged, Austin," I said quietly, glancing towards the door, trying to think up an escape plan.

"To someone who doesn't love you!" Austin half-yelled, causing me to shrink down a bit.

"Tom loves me," I said back weakly. "I'm sure of it."

"You don't sound so sure," he said bitterly as I stood up and gave him one last look.

"Tom might not love me, but neither do you."

Tom's P.O.V.

"Oh! This is Lila's favorite team," I exclaimed as I watched a football game with Dougie. "Do you think I should record it for her?"

"I don't really think she'd care that much," Dougie said in an uninterested tone, his eyes glued to the screen in front of him. "Where is she anyways?"

"I dunno, she didn't say. Probably out with Jazzie or Kate or something," I said. Just as Dougie was about to open his mouth to say something, Lila came storming into our flat with fire in her watery blue eyes.

"Hey, Li!" I said excitedly, happy to see her. "Look! Your team is on! I was gonna record it, but Dougie said that you wouldn't really-"

"I'm leaving."

"Aw, it's just a football game, Li! I'll change it if you want," I said, not picking up on what she meant.

"What? No! I wanna watch the game! Fuck her, I was here first!" Dougie said as he took the remote from me and held it close to his chest.

"No, I mean, I'm leaving for good," she said. Dougie's eyes widened and he dropped the remote in shock. And as for me, I just sat there dumbfounded as my heart started breaking piece by piece.

"What?" I asked weakly, my voice going high out of fear. She looked at me with sadness in her eyes as she ran a hand through her beautiful blonde hair. I couldn't comprehend that this was actually happening. I thought that we were really going to have our happy ending.

"I can't do this anymore," she said as tears began streaming down her face. "I can't keep pretending. I don't want a fake marriage."

"But, there's no pretending. We're not fake," I said desperately. "Lila, please don't leave me."

"No, I have to go," she said as she shook her head. "I'm gonna take the job in New York and lead the life that I'm supposed to live. You're not supposed to be in it, Tom. You were meant to be written out of my life seven years ago. It was a mistake that we met again. A big mistake. That's all."

"A mistake?" I asked, my voice even weaker than before. "How can you say that, Lila? It was fate that we met again. You know that."

"No, it was all a mistake. Just one big mistake. I was meant to stay with Austin," she said as my eyes widened and I looked at her with horror in my eyes. If she wasn't breaking my heart enough already, she was now shredding it to pieces. She was basically telling me that I was a mistake and she should be with her asshole of an ex-boyfriend.

"Do you still love him?" I asked quietly as Dougie put a comforting hand on my shoulder, reminding me that he was there. I think that was the icing on top of the cake for me. Not only was the girl I love breaking up with me, but she was doing it in front of my best mate. That's just plain embarrassing.

"No, not at all," she said as I sighed in relief.

"Do you love me?" I asked in a nervous voice. Lila's face was full of heartbreak as she let out a little squeak and nodded as tears began to cascade out of her eyes again.

"It's not my feelings that I'm doubting."

That was the last thing I heard from Lila before she escaped into the spare bedroom. I tried to get her to talk to me. I sat outside of the bedroom door for hours saying how much I needed her to stay. It wasn't until three in the morning that I got tired and let my eyelids droop down. And when I woke the next morning, she was gone.