The Way You Make Me Feel

Austin's P.O.V.

I'd be lying if I said that I was the perfect person. Whenever I make a mistake, I'm always the first to admit it. The only problem, though, is that usually my mistakes don't phase me. I know that they're wrong, but it doesn't bother me. I just continue to do the same stupid shit that I always do and live my life with no regret. And that was fine for me. I was content with who I was and the life that I was living, until one day I suddenly felt guilty.

I fucked up. I fucked up big time. I convinced my ex-girlfriend that her fiance didn't love her. I manipulated her views of the man that she loved! I ruined the most pure and amazing emotion of all. Love. I broke a relationship apart. The love that Tom and Lila shared was one that I would never be able to experience. So, if I couldn't have it, neither could they.

Of course, I didn't feel any of this regret until after I saw the damage I'd done. It wasn't until Thomas Fletcher came to my flat in a fit of rage and sorrow that I realized how badly I fucked up. When I looked into his broken eyes, the reflection I saw was of nothing more than an asshole.

"What are you doing here, Fletcher?" I asked in disgust as Tom pushed his way passed me and into my flat.

"What did you say to her?" he asked quietly as he looked down at his feet, his blonde hair masking his face from my vision. He was so calm that it frightened me. It was that calm before the storm in my eyes.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I spat, trying to make it seem as if I had no clue what was going on.

"She was fine before she left. Then she went to lunch with you and she leaves me! You must have done something!" Tom said as his gaze shot up at me. "What the fuck did you say to Lila?!"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me! You must have said something to make her leave me!" Tom yelled as tears began to fall down his pale face. He let out a sob as he ran his hands through his light hair and began pacing in front of me. I had never seen him so vulnerable. I think that was the moment when I realized the affect my dumb action had on him.

"I said that you didn't love her," I said simply, waiting for Tom to attack me. He didn't, though. He simply let out another sob and fell back into a chair. I glanced at him hesitantly, wondering why he wasn't mad. Or maybe he was so mad, he couldn't do anything. I couldn't really tell. But, I could tell that he was a broken man.

"Why would you do something like that?" he asked weakly. "Why would you tell such an outrageous lie?"

"Well, you stole her from me!" I yelled, suddenly getting defensive. "If I can't have Lila, neither can you, Fletcher!"

"You childish piece of shit. You couldn't handle your ex-girlfriend actually being happy, so you manipulated her and made her run from her happiness!" Tom spat at me. "And for the record, I didn't steal Lila from you! You fucked up that relationship all on your own, buddy!"

"If it hadn't been for you, we still would've been together! Maybe it'd be me that she'd be marrying, not you!"

"Well, she's not marrying me anymore!" Tom yelled as more tears fell from his muddy brown eyes. "I just don't see how she could've believed you."

"I told her that if you loved her, you would've let her take the job in New York," I said as Tom looked up at me with regret. "She didn't believe me at first. Said you loved her. But, then I just kept warping her image of you until she saw nothing but a lying bastard. I made her see me whenever she looked at you. I just couldn't let her get away from me. I needed to have some part of her. I needed to know that she wouldn't be with you forever. So, I lied."

"Does she love you?" he asked quietly while staring down at his feet.

"No," I said. "She never did."

"How the fuck can you live with yourself?!" Tom suddenly yelled with an outburst of anger. "You've done so much shit to Lila! How can you live with yourself knowing that you've screwed up her life?! I mean, you ignored her and blew her off when you two were dating, then you beat the shit out of her because she went to a club with a friend! Thank God she had enough sense to get out of that relationship! But, no, wait, you've gotta come back and continue to fuck up her life even after she leaves you! Yeah, now you have to go and convince her to leave me when she's actually happy for once! How the fuck are you living with yourself, Austin?!"

"Go to Hell, Fletcher!" I yelled, not really knowing what else to say.

"I'll see you there," he said bitterly as he threw an engagement ring at me and stormed out of my flat.

That was the last time that I saw Tom Fletcher. I didn't really think that he wanted to see me again, considering all of the damage I'd done. But, I think that he'd be happy to know that for the first time in my life, I regretted what I did. It was difficult for me to get through the day, because all of the guilt was still riding heavily on my shoulders.

I felt better, though, after I sent the engagement ring back to Tom. I mailed it to him after I saw the crash on the telly. I figured he might want it. And, shockingly, it was as if all of my guilt was with that ring. So, as soon as I mailed it to Tom, it was like that incredible weight was lifted off of my shoulders.

But, before I gave him the engagement ring back, I felt like complete crap. I think it was just the fact that I ruined someone's life. And I don't mean Lila's, I mean Tom's. I ruined his life. I took away every ounce of happiness that he had. The only thing that he had left by the time I was done was his band. And even that couldn't keep him entirely happy.

After Tom left, I couldn't stop thinking about who I was. I was a liar. I was an abusive ex-boyfriend. I was the boy who couldn't stand being alone. I was jealous. I was a coward. I was the asshole who managed to ruin Tom Fletcher's life.

And the worst was yet to come.