The Way You Make Me Feel

Lila's P.O.V.

"You can't break up with me, Li," Austin said once I'd gotten to the apartment. I just shook my head as I grabbed one of the suitcases that Tom and I had brought and began stuffing it with my clothes. Tom was currently packing my other stuff in one of the boxes that we'd brought. It took me a few days to gather up the courage to go back to Austin, and I was happy that Tom was with me every step of the way. He was truly my best friend.

"Yes, I can," I said bitterly. "You hit me."

"That's not my fault!" he yelled as I rolled my eyes and continued packing up my things. I glanced over at Tom, who sent Austin a glare as he stuffed my alarm clock into the box. I made him promise that he wouldn't get into a fight with Austin. I didn't need to see Tom getting hurt.

"Than who's fault is it?" I asked shortly as I threw a shirt of mine into the suitcase. When Austin didn't respond, I continued with sarcasm dripping from my voice. "Oh, wait, I see it now. You're going to blame this all on me again, aren't you? Well, let me just apologize now. Austin, I am so sorry that I fucked up this relationship. I will never break up with a guy for beating me up again. I promise. God, I just feel like such a bitch. I hope you can forgive me."

"You know what? I'm happy that we're done," Austin yelled as Tom stood up. "You're an annoying little whore, anyways."

"Leave her alone," Tom said as I bit my lip and held back my tears. Austin glared at him before turning his attention back to me.

"Where the fuck are you going to live?" Austin asked as I looked down at my suitcase filled with clothes. I didn't want to look at him. Looking at him had the same affect on me as turning on the lights after being in a dark room. I finally saw every aspect of him, and it hurt. He wasn't all that I thought he was. He was just an abusive asshole.

"I'm staying with Tom," I said as Austin's jaw dropped. "He has a spare room in his flat, so - "

"You're living with him?!" Austin yelled as I cringed and closed my eyes, hoping that this would all just go away. "You've got to be kidding me. There's no fucking way that you can leave me for that worthless piece of shit."

I had never felt so angry before in my life. Every inch of me that was hurt by what Austin did, was replaced with hatred. How could he talk about Tom like that? He didn't even know him! Tom was probably twice the man that Austin could ever be. He's sweet, caring, funny, and everything that Austin isn't! It was in that moment when I looked over at Tom that I saw something different in him. But, it was a good different. It was that "butterfly in your stomach", "living on cloud nine" type of different. And it was the happiest I'd felt in a very long time.

I was confused, though. Tom was my best friend. I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to be feeling the way I was. I don't know if you've ever fallen for your best friend, but if you have, you'll know where I'm coming from here. It's the best feeling in the world, and the worst. In that split second that I was looking at Tom, I realized how amazing it would be to be with him. He was just the right mixture of nerdy and brave. And all of his flaws (not that he had many) seemed to mean nothing to me. But, at the same time, it would be hell. There was an entire friendship that I had to remember. A friendship that meant the world to me.One false move and that could be gone. That's why I didn't want to be falling for Tom Fletcher.

"Go fuck yourself, Austin," I said. I figured that keeping it simple would be most affective. I then grabbed my box of possessions and began carrying it out of Austin's apartment. But, I didn't even get to the front door before Tom caught up to me and insisted that he carry the heavy box out to his car. While Tom was taking the box out to his car, I stayed in the apartment and continued to throw some clothes into my suitcase.

"I hope you realize that we were fine until he came along," Austin said disgustedly as I shook my head and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Tom didn't break us up, Austin. You did," I said as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Do you even regret what you did?"

"No!" Austin said as I sighed. "I know that you were cheating on me with him."

"Are you serious, Austin?" I asked in disbelief. "You honestly think that I was cheating on you with Tom? You really are an idiot."

"Yeah, I am! I was an idiot for letting you hang around him!" Austin yelled, causing me to freeze up. "You've changed since he's been around, Lila! You seemed to care more about being with him than you did about our relationship!"

"That's not true," I said quietly as Austin looked at me with fire in his icy eyes.

"Yeah it is," Austin said as Tom walked back in.

"Is everything okay in here?" Tom asked hesitantly as he walked over to me. Austin simply glared at him, ready to explode. He was like a time bomb ready to go off. The anticipation of what he would do killed me. I knew that it was only a matter of seconds before this bomb went off.

"No! Everything would be fine if you didn't come along," Austin yelled as Tom's eyes widened and he took a step closer to me. "Because God forbid Mr. Rockstar keeps his penis in his own pants!"

"Did I miss something?" Tom whispered to me as I shook my head and sighed.

"Austin thinks that I cheated on him with... you," I said, feeling somewhat awkward all of a sudden. Tom's single dimple suddenly appeared as he tried to restrain himself from laughing. And the fact that he was laughing made me feel even worse about my new found feelings towards Tom. It made me feel as if I wasn't good enough for him.

"Seriously?" he asked as Austin nodded. "It's a good theory, but do you honestly think that I could get with someone like Lila? I mean, look at me!"

"Get out," Austin said as he pointed towards the front door, obviously not taking the situation as lightly as Tom was. Tom blushed and looked down at his feet as he walked towards the direction Austin was pointing his finger. It was slightly amusing to me. Tom looked like a little boy who had been reprimanded by a schoolteacher or something.

"I don't know why I even bothered with you," I said as I grabbed the suitcase and carried it out of the apartment, hoping to never step foot inside of it again. Once I'd dragged my suitcase outside, Tom leaned against his car with his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk across his lips.

"What?" I asked with annoyance as he laughed slightly and grabbed my suitcase from me and threw it carelessly into the trunk of his car.

"You don't even realize it," Tom said with that same smirk. I glared at him, not knowing what he was talking about. Here he was, smirking, while I just had my heart broken! What kind of a friend does that? He's supposed to comfort me, not smirk like an idiot. Men...

"Realize what?" I asked bitterly as Tom raised his eyebrows at my tone.

"You're so busy sulking about how you and your asshole of a boyfriend broke up, that you don't even realize how good it is that you two are over," Tom said as I looked at him oddly. "Lila, you were completely miserable when you were with him. Think about how happy you're going to be now. No more broken promises, forgotten plans, or put-downs. You'll actually be happy."

I stayed silent throughout the car ride back to Tom's apartment. As I thought about what Tom had told me, I started realizing how right he was. I was going to be so much happier without Austin in my life now. I could actually have fun and not have to worry about upsetting him! And I wouldn't have to worry about hanging out with Tom anymore. Hell, I was living with Tom now. A smile spread across my face as I let the light shine upon the situation at hand.

"Welcome home," Tom said with a small smile as he led me into his apartment. My stomach erupted with butterflies as I saw that single dimple appear on his cheek. It was weird to me. His smile never had that affect on me in the past, but suddenly, it was making my brain malfunction. I couldn't even breath, let alone think.

"Thanks again, Tom," I said as I took the suitcase and began dragging it into my new bedroom while he carried the box. "It really means a lot to me that you're letting me stay here."

"It's no problem. Anything for you," he said as he placed the box down on the floor. "Do you want me to help you unpack?"

"Yes, please," I said with the cutest smile that I could muster. "Would you mind unpacking my clothes while I deal with the meaningless crap in this box?"

"Sure," Tom said before hearing a loud bang at the door. "Hold on. Let me get that."

As Tom went to go open the door, I looked around my new room. I really couldn't complain. It was amazing. It was kind of small, considering it was the spare bedroom, but that didn't bother me. I didn't have much to put in it anyways. As I glanced around the room, I found my favorite part of it: the window. It was rounded at the top and looked out into the heart of London. I knew at that moment that I would be spending most nights staring out of that window before I went to bed.

"Lila," I heard my name being called in a sing-song voice. "The most amazing person alive has arrived."

"Hey, Jazzie," I said with a smile as she strutted into my bedroom with Tom following behind her. Ever since Tom's Halloween party, Jazzie and I have become pretty close friends. I'm not even sure why, considering how different we were. Maybe it was because I was the only one who knew her darkest secret. But, that's besides the point. What I'm trying to say is that Jazzie has become my closest girl friend. Tom will always be my closest friend in general.

"I've decided to grace you with my presence and take you out in celebration of you being single," Jazzie said as Tom scoffed and tried to restrain himself from laughing. "What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing," Tom said quickly, still trying to keep his smile hidden. "I just wish that I could be as lucky as Lila is. I mean, who wouldn't want to spend time with you?"

"You don't have to be sarcastic," Jazzie said as Tom smiled and gave her a hug. And then it came back. The jealousy, I mean. I knew that it didn't mean anything to Jazzie (seeing as she had Danny), but I still felt that jealousy boiling over inside of me. I felt my chest tighten up and my back stiffen as I bit my lip and glanced down at my feet.

"Ew, get off," Jazzie said playfully as she pushed Tom away from her. "I've got a boyfriend, fool."

"Really?" Tom said as Jazzie's eyes widened, realizing what she just let slip. "I didn't know that. Who's the lucky guy?"

"Uh... well, when I said 'boyfriend', I meant, you know, um," Jazzie mumbled before I felt the need to interject.

"Come on, you can tell Tom," I said. "I'm sure he won't tell Dougie about... James."

"His name's James?" Tom asked Jazzie as she nodded. "How did you two meet?"

"It's a really long story," I said with an exasperated sigh. "We'll fill you in later, Tom. We've gotta go, anyways."

>>>

"You're terrible under pressure," I told Jazzie as we sat on a bench in the park near mine and Tom's flat. She sighed and buried her face in her hands, rubbing her temples in the process.

"I know, I know," she said. "I can't believe I almost let it slip."

"Yeah, you're lucky that I was there to cover your ass," I said as Jazzie looked at me and laughed.

"And that Tom's sort of clueless," Jazzie said as I nodded in agreement. "I can't believe that you two are living together now. It must be kind of weird living with a guy that you don't have feelings for."

"I wouldn't know," I muttered as Jazzie's head snapped in my direction and her eyes widened.

"Say what?" she asked loudly, the pitch of her voice raising. I blushed and slumped down in my seat on the bench, wondering if it was a mistake to mention what I was feeling to Jazzie. I mean, don't get me wrong, if I were to tell someone about what was going on, it would be Jazzie. The only thing was that I didn't want to tell anyone. I kind of wanted to keep my feelings towards Tom to myself.

"I think I may be falling for Tom," I said quietly as Jazzie's eyes widened and she turned in her seat to fully face me.

"But, Tom's your best friend," Jazzie said as I nodded and bit my lip. "It's, like, illegal to fall for your best friend."

"Yeah, I know," I said. "I just suddenly saw something different in Tom earlier. I mean, he's really sweet and I get along perfectly with him. And, I know this might sound bad, but whenever I see him with another girl, I get really jealous. I don't know, maybe I'm just misinterpreting what I'm feeling."

"Nope," Jazzie said simply. "I think you've got it dead on."

"And now that I'm living with him, I have a feeling that I'll just fall harder for him," I said.

"That's not necessarily a bad thing," Jazzie said with a smile. "What if he feels the same way towards you?"

"I doubt it," I said. "As you said before, it's, like, illegal to fall for your best friend."

"Yeah, but since you fell for him, it shows that it's not impossible," Jazzie said as I bit my lip and thought about whether or not it was possible for Tom to actually feel the same way towards me. I shook my head and concluded that it wasn't possible. And even if it was, Tom would never tell me. He was never one to take risks.

"Yes it is," I said as I played with my hands anxiously. "Plus, Tom would never tell me."

"Lila, I think you're forgetting who's screwing one of his best friends, related to another, and very good friends with the last," Jazzie said casually as she put an arm around my shoulders. "Tom must have told one of the three idiots if he has feelings towards you."

"I guess, but I don't want to know," I said sadly. "I don't want the person I always thought would protect me to break my heart."