Changing The Rules

It was the dreaded Monday morning when I knew I would have to face Nick. Ever since breaking up with Nick on Saturday night, I had spent the rest of the weekend curled up in my bed, staring at pictures of us in happy times, before I realised how complicated this all was. I picked up my bag, leaving the house fifteen minutes earlier than usual considering I wasn’t going to be getting a lift to school with Nick anymore.

Music was always there. It helped me through hard times such as this, and made me happy during my highs with Nick. Leona Lewis was my current saviour, and my distraction from the world and all the nasty, cruel problems within it. I sighed when I turned the corner and the school came into view, sending a cold shiver down my spine. Nick had no doubt concocted some evil plans to make me pay and no doubt all of his friends were in on the trick. I was prepared for anything. I couldn’t feel more broken even if they tried.

I walked the busy corridors, smiling weakly at the occasional person before turning into my form room, smiling out of relief at the fact Sara was already there.

“Oh my gosh Charlene, I have been trying to contact you all freaking weekend. Guess what guess what guess what?” She said excitedly before I had even sat down. I shrugged my shoulder, putting my bag and folders on the floor, leaning on my arms as I looked at her expectantly.

“I had sex with Ryan” She whispered in a high pitch voice. My eyes opened in shock as I stared at her in disbelief.

“Oh my, when? Why?”

“You know at the party on Friday, well he invited me back to his and well you know…but he asked me to be his girlfriend.” She squealed clapping her hands happily.

“Aww I’m so happy for you Sara” I smiled, patting her arm. She grinned at me, waving at someone passing by before moving her chair closer to speak to me better.

“I still don’t get why you haven’t had a boyfriend here yet. I mean loads of the guys have spoken about you, I just don’t get it. Don’t you want a boyfriend?” My heart sunk as she said this, thinking back to everything I had lost, including my heart.

“No, my heart belongs to one guy only, but loves cruel huh? Things never turn out how you want them to” I forced a quiet laugh, making Sara send a sympathetic look my way.

Ten minutes into home period and Nick still wasn’t here and even Mr Steward was curious, considering now Nick was always on time. A few minutes later and the door swung open, revealing a shattered looking Nick, no longer in the clothes I loved so much, but back in his hoodie and baggy trousers, hiding from the world.

“Nicholas why are you late?” Mr Steward asked, trying to be stern but failing. Seriously, even I didn’t take the man seriously.

“Because my flying carpet ran out of gas” Nick said as he rolled his eyes, walking to the back of the classroom, briefly looking at me as he passed, his eyes emotionless, cold, lonely. His friends were laughing, Nick high fiveing all of them as he took his seat, rightful king of Oakenvalley.

“Well it was nice whilst it lasted” Sara sighed, resting her chin on her hands.

“What was?” I asked, knowing she was talking about my Nick, I mean Nick.

“Nick. I knew it would only be a short while before he turned back into a pig again. Oh well, guess no one can ever really change”

What if Nick had only ‘changed’ for me? Meaning everything was going to go back to how it used to be if not worse. Even though I deserved it, I prayed Nick would not try to destroy every little aspect of my life, especially without an audience. But he was angry more than anything so I was ready for anything.

When the bell went I quickly picked up my stuff, heading to History with Henry, dreading the fact Nick sat behind me. And oh shit, I had English today where I was now next to Nick. Shit shit shit (mind my French).

“You don’t have to tell me now, but can I walk home with you today because it’s fairly obvious what has happened.” Henry said as we walked into class. I hadn’t spoken to anyone about the break up but knew Henry would put two and two together, and being the genius he was it didn’t take long.

I couldn’t help but look away as Nick walked into the room, Clarissa attached to his arm, smiling in a sickening way, knowing she was going to ‘get some’. I couldn’t believe Nick had just jumped right back into his old ways; then again, it wasn’t that hard to believe. I was trying to hold a conversation with Henry but I kept hearing Clarissa’s irritating giggle from behind, not hearing what Nick was saying but she seemed to love the attention. Megan, the girl who usually sits next to Nick in history walked in, not knowing what to do considering Clarissa was in her seat.

“Urm you’re in my seat” She said quietly. A lot of people in the class looked behind them to watch, knowing Clarissa was going to shoot a dirty remark her way.

“And you are within six feet of me so get lost” She spat at her, wrapping her arm around Nicks. Even though I was looking at Megan, I could see Nick glance at me for my reaction which was nothing, but I couldn’t see his face to see his emotions. Henry spun around in his chair and I swear I have never seen a nerd look so angry.

“What gives you the right to speak to people the way you do? What is it that is so special about little miss Clarissa? Nothing is the answer, nothing. So why don’t you just move your fake, bimbo ass off the seat and move elsewhere before I have to spit on you.” He growled, making everyone gasp, the majority of people never hearing him speak before. I was so in shock at this new Henry but I was proud of him for finally standing up to these people.

“Excuse me.” Clarissa snarled, looking to Nick for support. “Nick are you going to say something?” She whispered harshly, waiting for Nick to punch the living day lights out of Henry.

“Yeah Nick. Why don’t you go all out on telling me how pathetic people such as myself are? God knows you’ve said it enough in the past.” Ok now this shocked me. Henry had always been so scared of Nick but since he knew we had broken up, he seemed to have automatically gone into protective mode, angry at Nick.

I turned my head slightly to look at Nick who was aware of everyone looking at him. I could see he was struggling to avoid my eyes, even though I was now looking at the table more so than him.

“Just shut up the both of you” He muttered, pulling the sleeves of his hoodie down, putting the hood up as she slumped into his chair. Clarissa huffed, picking up her back and moving to her assigned seat, Henry spinning around his seat, breathing heavily. I tried not to laugh as he got out his inhaler, obviously having gotten too excited. He was like a teddy bear you just wanted to cuddle all day long.

I felt a jab in my back, making me arch my back forward slightly before turning around to see Nick leaning over the desk, his cold eyes boring into mine.

“You have my history essay” He said nonchalantly . I remembered us writing the essay at his house considering he always struggled with his essays and I had been helping him as he progressed amazingly. I moved around, flicking through my folder until I found it. Trying not to smile at the fun we had of writing in, with Nick accidentally spilling his coffee all over it, both of us trying to clean it as best we could but getting distracted easily; by each other.

“Nick!” I screeched, jumping up to avoid the dripping coffee. He cursed under his breath, running into the kitchen to pick up some towels, hurrying back to try to soak it up. The look of worry on his face made me laugh as I held onto my sides which were aching at how much I was laughing.

“Oh is that funny is it?” Nick asked as he came closer to me, picking up my glass of water as he approached me. I shook my head, walking around the table from him, knowing he was going to get me wet.

“Then let me kiss you, come on babe” He teased still holding the water. I squealed, running out of the kitchen, Nick right on my tail as I ran for the living room, falling onto the couch, laughing hysterically. I looked up at Nick as he slowly brought his face closer to mine, sliding his body on top of mine, keeping himself up right by his arms.

“Now can I kiss you?” He said, nodding at the glass of water now on the coffee table, out of his hands. I nodded, placing my hands behind his neck, bringing him lips to mine in a passionate kiss. Nicks hands rubbed my sides, both of our tongues dancing together. I moved my legs around him so I could wrap them around his waist, pushing us together, Nick grunting with pleasure. He pulled back slowly and before I could open my eyes, I felt ice cold water on my face, looking up to see Nick grinning mischievously.

“You little sod” I laughed as I gasped, wiping my eyes and shaking my hair, Nick squinting to avoid the water. I brought his face down into my hair, hearing him laughing as he tried to pull away whilst I was drenching his hair with my own which was soaking wet.

“Great I’m dripping wet now. Thanks a lot babe” He said with a smile, leaning down to snuggle into the small spot next to me, bringing most of my body on his.

“Well you deserved it. But…I feel kind of guilty now. However can I repay you?” I said, tapping my chin in thought. I looked down at Nick, both of us looking very amused.

“I think I know how” He said, pulling me fully on top of him, making me giggle as he pressed his lips to mine. I must have been way out of line considering I was ‘repaying’ him for a good half hour.

I smiled softly at the thought, turning around to pass it to Nick.

“Here you go” I said quietly, seeing Nick look at the coffee stain, a small smile on his lips, clearly thinking of the same time. He looked up at me, shaking his head gently, wondering how I could do this to him. I had to turn around when I felt my eyes slightly well up and I didn’t want other people to see me cry, apart from Nick, only my family had ever seen me cry and last night was no exception. My parents comforted me all of Sunday, telling me everything was going to ok although I knew this was a lie. If I couldn’t have Nick then things would never be ok. But nick needed his old life back which I didn’t have a role in so this was the end of the road for us but it didn’t make it any easier.

For the rest of the day I was pretty much silent in all of my classes and at lunch I just sat there fiddling with my fingers, avoiding everyone’s questions.

“Guys you will never guess what!” Becky said, jumping up and down in her seat. Everyone waited anxiously for her news and I felt my heart sink when she told us.

“I’m going out with Nick Jonas” Everyone gasped and I just sat there in shock, not believing what she was saying. Nick would not do this to me. He would not deliberately hook up with one of my friends, both of them rubbing it in my faces. Before I could say anything, Nick appeared, grinning when he saw Becky, placing his hands over her eyes.

“Guess who” He whispered bringing a huge smile to her face. “Hey sexy” He said, lifting her up to take her seat, placing her back on his lap.

“Hey” She said as she shoved her tongue down his throat, pressing her chest into his as his tongue searched her entire mouth. I quickly picked up my stuff, walking as fast I could to get out of there. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. I quickly walked to the small bathroom which was always deserted. Shutting the toilet door, sinking to the floor as sobs racked through my body. I never knew doing the best thing would be so bloody painful.

“Charlene?” I heard Sara walk into the bathroom, knowing I was in here. I heard her lock the bathroom door, knocking on the toilet I was in. I slowly stood up, opening the door, seeing her look at me in shock at the mess in front of her. I walked the short distance to her, collapsing in her arms as I cried onto her shoulder. Although she didn’t know what was going on, she began rubbing my back, trying to calm me down. I slid from her arms, sliding down the wall to the ground, hiding my face in my arms.

“Charlene what is going on? You have been off with everyone all day now spilling.” She said as she sat next to me, wrapping her arms around my shoulder.

“It doesn’t matter I’m just being pathetic”

“No tell me.” She pressed. I turned to look up at her, wondering whether I could trust her or not.

“I love Nick Jonas” I whispered, seeing her eyes bulge out of their sockets, stuttering slightly. “But it’s not like that Sara. You have to promise me you will keep this to yourself, please promise me” I sobbed, thanking the lord when she instantly nodded giving me full confidence in her.

“Nick and I had been dating since October and the love we shared for each other was like something I just can’t explain. Originally it was so much easier for us to keep it a secret but in the end, well you saw the stuff he did to Jay after he hurt me. And it just hurts seeing him with Becky already.” I sobbed, the horrible thoughts coming back.

“Oh my gosh. When did you break up?” She whispered, still not believing she had been so oblivious.

“Friday. I only broke up with him to help him because he was just isolating himself from everyone just for me. It hurts so much Sara. Seeing him with one of my closest friend’s just days after we finished. I thought he loved me” I cried, leaning into her shoulder.

“I know you don’t want to here this, but do you not think that maybe you weren’t thinking entirely about what Nick wanted, more what his friends wanted? And why should you care about people like Jay who slammed you into a locker for freaks sake” She said as she rubbed my back. We sat there in silence for a while as I took everything into my mind, wondering whether I made the right decision.

“Well then what about Becky?” I asked quietly, crying at the thought.

“Is it not obvious that he’s only trying to make you jealous? And I’m sorry but what I saw looked more like lust than love. I mean did Nick call you sexy or beautiful?”

“Beautiful”

“Well there’s your answer” I will admit, I thought Sara was going to be one of the hardest to sway with this whole situation but she was proving to be my true friend. I hugged her tightly, thanking her from the bottom of my heart.

“What are you going to do?” She asked as I pulled away from her, looking at her from the corner of my eye.

“I don’t know. You can never understand how much I love him, but he has moved on now and I was the one to set him free. I just need to be happy for him; he’s not longer trapped with me”

Sara groaned, standing up to join me as I picked up my bag. “Charlene for once in your life just think about yourself rather than others and I bet you Nick was begging you to do the same. From what you tell me, you and Nick clearly share something which is not the norm so I say go and get your man back” She laughed hugging me tightly.

“No. He is with Becky, one of our friends. I refuse to be the other woman, I just refuse.” I said shaking my head. Sara went to touch my arm but I pulled it back, smiling encouragingly at her going to unlock the door.

“I’ll see you later Sara and thank you for everything, you’re a great friend” I smiled as I walked out and into the deserted corridor as everyone else was still in the lunch hall.

For the first time in my entire life I bunked my afternoon lessons. Thankfully I was ahead of the class so I knew I wasn’t going to miss anything major. I just couldn’t stand seeing Becky and Nick together so I needed to get home. I walked into my house, loving the silence it brought, my parents at work until 9pm as usual and it was now 1pm meaning I could just relax and get away from everything. I went upstairs and changed into a comfortable outfit so I could just kick back without a care in the world, even though it was the furthest thing from.

I walked down stairs, flicking on the Rugrats for no particular reason. I just wanted to be reminded of the time when I was care free, no stress of school or boys or Nick. Only ten minutes later there was a knock at the door which I had every intention of ignoring until they knocked again and again and again. I groaned standing up and stomping over to the door, not planning on being pleasant to the person on the other side which was why it shocked me to see Nick on the other side.

“Not like you to bunk school” He said as he smirked, leaning on the door. I rolled my eyes, noticing how broken he looked no matter how much he tried to hide it. I knew he liked Becky and was no doubt just with me to get close to her. nice.

“I can’t say I’m shocked to see you bunking” I retorted.

“Can I come in?” He asked, looking around him to see if anyone had followed him from school. I shook my head gently, looking away from here when I felt myself getting emotional. I slowly went to close the door before Nick’s foot came into contact with it, sliding past it into my house.

“Nick can you please leave? I know I was a bitch but I don’t need to hear you saying it or bragging about how amazing Becky is so please just go. Please” I said as a tear rolled down my cheek and onto the cold, wooden floor. He just stood there staring at me, refusing to budge. “Fine” I whispered, walking past him to the kitchen to get myself some headache tablets and a huge glass of water. Without even turning around I knew he had followed me into the kitchen, no doubt having found his favourite stool at the breakfast bar. I turned around and I was right.

“Do you want something to drink?” I asked quietly before I took a gulp of my water, my back still turned to him.

“Do you have any diet coke?” He asked. I nodded, going to the fridge to retrieve a can, taking it over to him. As I placed it down, before I pulled my fingers away he placed his hands on mine, looking up at me. I shook my head, trying to pull away not wanting to deal with further heartache. He kept his hand on mine, walking around the breakfast bar until he was right in front of me.

“Nick please just have your drink and go” I whispered refusing to look into his eyes that was until he gently pushed my chin up keeping it there so I couldn’t look anywhere but in his eyes.

“Charlene what has happened to us hey? How have we gone from a million to negative in just days? How has this happened?” He asked as he stroked my cheeks which I originally tried to pull away from but there was no denying how much I missed him.

“Nick this is all me so don’t try to include yourself in the decline of our relationship. You just have to understand that this is for the best”

He pulled back forcefully pulling his arms to his side, one of them slamming down on the kitchen counter.

“How the hell can you still think that?! You know we both hate this situation so why do you keep trying to convince yourself you don’t love me?!” Nick yelled at me, knowing full well I could never stop loving him.

“I am not denying the fact I love you! I could not love you any more even if I tried! I will never feel for someone the way I do for you, so stop rubbing it in my freaking face! And the fact that you already have someone else tears my entire life apart so I would appreciate it if you just left me alone!” I screamed back and by now I was full on crying but so was Nick.

“You think I genuinely like, whatever the hell her name is! I only have eyes for you, it does not take an Einstein to see that no matter how pathetic it is I was trying to make you jealous. I will never get over you, let alone in the space of a few days.” He said through his tears not even bothering to remove the constant flow running down his beautiful face.

“I know you broke up with me and shattered my entire world in the process, but I cannot bring myself to be angry at you because I love you far too much. I don’t care about what will happen if people find out about us and neither should you because I will protect you from everything and everyone so if it’s that that you are scared of then don’t be”.

“Nick you know it is not all about that. I don’t want you to feel like you must spend all your time with me and in turn ditch all your friends, in particular Jay.” I said as I clenched my fists together, angry at how we had gotten to this point.

“I know I don’t have to spend all my time with you but I want to. This is what happens when people fall in love, they want to spend all of their time with one person and one person only. And if you are worried about me smothering you then I will back off and spend more time with people like Jay, anything to make us happy again, because I know you are just as angry at all of this as I am.”

I didn’t say anything but just stood there, watching as he came closer to me, hesitantly picking up my hand and gently kissing it. Closing his eyes as he held my hand to his face, more tears falling. I continued to watch him until his eyes shot up to mine, slowly bringing his face into line with mine. He slowly moved his face toward mine, his eyes flicking between my lips and eyes, waiting for my reaction. I wanted to cry with happiness when I felt his lips on mine; feeling like it had been years even though it had only been a matter of days. But something suddenly caught my attention; I could taste cherry lip balm. Becky’s cherry lip balm.

I pulled back, shaking my head feeling dirty. “Go” I said quietly, turning my back on Nick.

“What?” He asked dumbfounded, walking around until he was now in front of me, examining my face, watching every move I made.

“I said go” I said raising my voice slightly louder.

“Are you kidding me?” Nick scoffed, his look of happiness now having long gone.

“Nick, what did you think you would achieve by hooking up with Becky? Either way someone’s heart was going to get broken and I wouldn’t be surprised if Becky has already fallen for you considering how much she talks about you. I cannot do this to her. I refuse to be the other woman, or the boyfriend stealer so go.” I said, turning around to walk towards my front door.

“Charlene don’t be silly now, don’t do this again. She is not my girlfriend; I don’t even know her name most of the time. I know this sounds awful but surely it is better to have one broken heart than two.” He said quickly, trying to avoid being shut out again.

“I said go!” I screamed, pushing him out the door, slamming it shut, falling to the ground almost immediately, struggling to breathe through my tears.